“We are Forerunners. Guardians of all that exists. The roots of the Galaxy have grown deep under our careful tending. Where there is life, the wisdom of our countless generations has saturated the soil. Our strength is a luminous sun, towards which all intelligence blossoms… And the impervious shelter, beneath which it has prospered.”

Monday morning cyber slaying

It’s the Monday after Thanksgiving weekend, and presumably all y’all are dealing with the likely less than pleasant results of epic food comas caused by eating and drinking FAR too much on Turkey Day itself. Hopefully y’all avoided the...

Monday morning bear baiting

OFMIM. There is some good news, though, for those of you who like your Monday morning coffee with a solid helping of schadenfreude. It turns out that those supposedly “endangered” polar bears are absolutely nothing of the bloody sort, and in fact are...

Monday morning journalist japery

It’s the Monday after the midterms, and unlike much of the Republican Establishment, which is still smarting from getting its ass kicked from both directions, I’m actually feeling pretty chipper. Or at least, I was, until I realised that it’s...

Monday morning stand-up specials

It’s Monday. Normally, I would just stop right there, because y’all would be horribly depressed simply from knowing this fact. But this Monday has a certain duality to it. On the one hand, it is Guy Fawkes Day – which is to say, the day that a...

Monday morning smack-a-socialist

Well, at least Monday only happens once a w…. Oh. Right. It’s happening today again, isn’t it. Bugger it all, damn and blast! Or, as the Russians might say: Хуй тебе в жопу! Закрой свой рот, сука!! Мне насрать на твоё мнение!!! Иди в пизду,...

Monday morning kaffeeklatsch

Lord but I hate Mondays. Well, most people hate Mondays, but I have a special reason to hate this particular Monday. It’s my last Monday in Russia, at least for the foreseeable future, and I am really not looking forward to packing up my things and heading back...

Monday morning breakroom beatdown

It’s Monday. I really can’t make it sound any better than that. I tried, but it just is not possible. Let’s face it – today BLOWS. Do try to look on the bright side, though. You could be this guy: Not much ranting today, since I’m in...

Monday morning victory songs

What can I say about Monday? Well, how about this, for starters… This particular Monday, thought, has a very sweet taste to it. And that is because, on Saturday October 6th, the United States Senate voted 50-48 to confirm Judge Brett Kavanaugh as a new Associate...

Monday morning judicial jackassery

Monday. Mother… Well, we might as well get on with it. I’ve got the usual selection of asshattery, funny pictures, gym fails, epic music, and an Instathot to help you get through this day. The one thing that I cannot help you with is if your office...

Sic transit inglorius Monday

As the thoroughly mangled Latin in the title says, albeit rather badly, look on the bright side: it’s not going to be Monday forever. Although, admittedly, even that sentiment isn’t enough to get you through the day when this happens to you: There are...