“We are Forerunners. Guardians of all that exists. The roots of the Galaxy have grown deep under our careful tending. Where there is life, the wisdom of our countless generations has saturated the soil. Our strength is a luminous sun, towards which all intelligence blossoms… And the impervious shelter, beneath which it has prospered.”

The female jackassalope

Back in early 2016, I encountered a particularly foul, vile, and noxious form of humanity in the Temple of Iron, the Crucible of Steel, the Altar to the Iron God – yes, that’s right, in the Holiest of Holies, THE GYM – who was so profoundly stupid...

Neymaring

Apparently some sort of Very Big Event took place yesterday in the world of Sportzball, and frankly most of the time I couldn’t give a rat’s ass about what happened because unless the event involves Roger Federer doing his GOAT shtick, or an actual MMA...

How powerlifters celebrate

The way I see it, if you are going to celebrate America’s birthday, you might as well do it using some dope-ass footage of a swole guy lifting heavy shit – with FIREWORKS!!! A post shared by gymfuckery™ (@gymfuckery) on Jul 4, 2018 at 10:38pm PDT Oh, and...

Serves you right

This is what happens when you use a Smith machine in a gym: A post shared by gymfuckery™ (@gymfuckery) on Jun 17, 2018 at 10:02am PDT As I may have made clear a few times in the past, I HATE SMITH MACHINES. The damn things are the most dangerous piece of equipment in...

Of course it is

Some people out there would like you to believe that protein shakes are bad for you. (Those people usually – but not always – have no idea how to lift proper weights, either.) To such people, I say, WATCH THIS: A post shared by gymfuckery™ (@gymfuckery) on...

That will definitely work

This one here is for the ladies – all, like, two of them that read my blog and somehow manage to keep their heads from exploding. Girls – have you ever been to a personal training session at the gym and discovered that your trainer is perhaps a little...

Hard to disagree, Hank

Henry Rollins – of BLACK FLAG fame – had some rather interesting things to say about his experiences opening for THE GREATEST FREAKIN’ BAND OF ALL TI… uh, I mean, IRON MAIDEN: Now I’ve been to my fair share of IRON MAIDEN concerts –...

I hate cardio

But not as much as this guy: A post shared by gymfuckery™ (@gymfuckery) on May 17, 2018 at 10:28am PDT Quite aside from the highly amusing voice-over commentary, I do need to get something off my chest here: WHY, in the name of ALL THAT IS HOLY, do people RUN ON...

Granny has a point

Via what is rapidly becoming my favourite way of mocking gym idiots: A post shared by gymfuckery™ (@gymfuckery) on May 8, 2018 at 9:10pm PDT Men who wear gloves to the gym are obviously a bit too worried about getting sand in their vaginas to lift heavy weights with...

Gym idiots: Spring Training Edition

Seeing as how we are finally into spring now – though you would not know it based on the temperatures outside, thanks to Al Bore and his Gospel of Manmade Global Warming – I figured it might be time to post up a few good old-fashioned gym idiots pictures...
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