“We are Forerunners. Guardians of all that exists. The roots of the Galaxy have grown deep under our careful tending. Where there is life, the wisdom of our countless generations has saturated the soil. Our strength is a luminous sun, towards which all intelligence blossoms… And the impervious shelter, beneath which it has prospered.”

Damaged goods

Damaged goods

Among my MANY vices is my tendency to spend rather more time than I should reading trashy Limey tabloids. The Sun is a leading contender in the very tight competition for the title of “trashiest of them all”. The “Dear Deirdre” column within...
It ain’t over till the fat man dances

It ain’t over till the fat man dances

The last couple of days have been really rough for us on the Hard Right. HIs Most Illustrious, Noble, August, Benevolent, and Legendary Celestial Majesty, the God-Emperor of Mankind, Donaldus Triumphus Magnus Astra, the First of His Name, the Lion of Midnight, the...
Runtime error

Runtime error

Our good friend Dawn Pine sent over, via Cappy, an unintentionally hilarious article dating back to 2013 about a woman who tried to create a feminist programming language. See if you can read through this alphabet soup and comprehend the first thing that the soulless...
Talk meets walk

Talk meets walk

Over the last few weeks, as the US Presidential election draws near, the efforts of the Prometheans to demoralise us have intensified to levels that we really haven’t seen before. No matter where you turn, the conclusion driven home by the polls, the...
The “Troublesome Truths” podcast

The “Troublesome Truths” podcast

My friend Kyle Trouble and I have been working on a new podcasting series called “Troublesome Truths” over the last few weeks. The idea is to spread some truths out there that might make people flinch, but nonetheless need to be heard. The first two...
Careless Airways dropped a flying piano

Careless Airways dropped a flying piano

Reader furor kek tonicus – he of the awesome and ever-changing handle – posted a video in the comments to yesterday’s article about the God-Emperor’s epic attack raccoons, about the Joint Strike Flying Piano. Apparently, one of Uncle...
Make Raccoons Great Again

Make Raccoons Great Again

Once more, His Most Illustrious, Noble, August, Benevolent, and Legendary Celestial Majesty, the God-Emperor of Mankind, Donaldus Triumphus Magnus Astra, the First of His Name, the Lion of Midnight, may the Lord bless him and preserve him, shows us that anything is...
Mr. Softy gets blue-screen balls

Mr. Softy gets blue-screen balls

A reader and podcast listener alerted me this morning to a truly hilarious story about everyone’s favourite corporate whipping boy. Apparently, a huge swathe of Microsoft’s core cloud services went offline, and as far as anyone can figure out, it was...
“Whatcha gonna do when they come for you?”

“Whatcha gonna do when they come for you?”

Dr. David Wood is a very interesting character. His life is an incredibly compelling example of the power and the glory of God’s grace. He is – or was – a diagnosed psychopath with self-aggrandising tendencies. He nearly bludgeoned his own father to...