“We are Forerunners. Guardians of all that exists. The roots of the Galaxy have grown deep under our careful tending. Where there is life, the wisdom of our countless generations has saturated the soil. Our strength is a luminous sun, towards which all intelligence blossoms… And the impervious shelter, beneath which it has prospered.”

Domain Query: Fun with numbers

Who says maths is boring? Sean Carnegie had some intriguing thoughts to contribute to my own write-up about a woman who has banged more than ten thousand men: For comparison, it’s said that every time an NFL player gets hit (I would assume only being a ball...

She’s certainly shaking something

What happens when you put a Taylor Swift single into an atom-smasher along with polka music and a metal shredfest? Well… this: (Kindly sent to me by Carey) I think I might have ruptured something laughing so hard. There is a particularly priceless moment right...

Because SCIENCE

Science: what scientists THINK they do Get this, folks- it turns out that saturated fat isn’t quite as horrible for you as we’ve all been told to believe it was. Indeed, the expert consensus that we were told was stamped and ratified by governments...

The girl who cried “rape”

Surprise Buttsecks: Lying Mattress Girl Edition Looks like Emma Sulkowicz’s experience with her surprise back-door caller wasn’t quite so surprising- and she wasn’t quite as broken up about it as she would like us to believe: Emma Sulkowicz, the...

Photobama

The Presidential Seal photobombs the biggest idiot to stand in front of it since Jimmy Carter: Nothing says “gravitas” like two horns sticking out of your head The man is a moron and a narcissist- and like all dumb narcissists, he cannot bear to be laughed...

A worse love story than Twilight

If such a thing could even possibly exist, this might be a contender: (h/t Elgintensity) This reminds me of what happened last Friday night when I was doing my heavy powerlifting workout. These two really rather fetching young ladies walked in- a blonde and a...

Poetic justice

Ironic, ain’t it? I know we’re supposed to be charitable and compassionate and all that, but there are times when schadenfreude is just too delicious to pass up. Like, say, when a church manages to solve its Gay Mafia problem by using the results of...

Frozen fans are sick bastards

Well, at least they are when they start writing fan fiction. Honestly, I don’t know whether to laugh my head off or be violently ill. (I think this is safe for work- I didn’t watch it past the first few minutes, it was that ridiculous. Just please,...

Shorts

So No More Jar Jar Binks, Then? Pictured: A former filmmaker and producer Jabba the Lucas is apparently a bit pissed off at the fact that Disney (very wisely) ignored all of his ideas for STAR WARS VII: The Force Awakens. They even had the audacity, the bare-faced...