“We are Forerunners. Guardians of all that exists. The roots of the Galaxy have grown deep under our careful tending. Where there is life, the wisdom of our countless generations has saturated the soil. Our strength is a luminous sun, towards which all intelligence blossoms… And the impervious shelter, beneath which it has prospered.”

Monday morning Ragnarok roundup

Hail and kill on this miserable Monday, fellow einherjar. I realise that some of you had a great weekend, carousing with valkyrja and guzzling mead like it’s going out of fashion, and are therefore in the process of working off a jotun-sized hangover,...

Monday morning Spoiled Wars

Happy Suckage Day, boys. As always, to make this day of misery less, well, miserable, yer very ‘eavy, very ‘umble servant is ‘ere with your regular Great Mondaydact Browser Crash. And we start by doing something that cannot be done often enough...

Monday morning shampeachment

Mondays suck. And they REALLY suck ass if you have to pay any attention whatsoever to that ongoing circus over on Capitol Hill, where the Daemoncrats are desperately trying to make their ridiculous impeachment proceedings stick to His Most August, Noble,...

Monday morning storm warning

God help us, it’s Monday again. For my American readers – which are most of them, actually – it’s a doubly terrible Monday because people are coming out of massive food comas and hangovers, and also because all of the crazy shopping madness...

Monday morning Idiocracy

Beelzebub’s buttcrack, it’s Monday again… As always, we simply have to make the best of things. So let’s get started – no point faffing around, after all. We’ll begin with a movie that will make you feel better about yourself and...

Monday morning Snowden chronicles

It’s Monday again. Were I a sad and bitter man, I’d leave it at that and let you stew in your misery on this day. But I’m not one, so I shan’t do that. Instead, I have gone to the ends of the Earth – or at least, YouTube – to...

Monday morning spirit of Spartans

Monday. Ugh. Fortunately you can look forward to the Great Mondaydact Browser Crash to liven up your morning. So let’s start by giving you some motivation to get your butt out of bed and train like a beast – with the beastliest of all men. The Spartans...

Monday morning comedy cringefest

Mondays just plain stink, and there ain’t no way, no how, to get around that fact. Well, other than your usual Mondaydact compilation designed specifically to overload and crash your browser, as one commenter put it here a few weeks back. So, let’s...

Monday morning Devil Mouse Wars

Monday. Jeebus. Why can’t this day come included with an SJW to flay and whose skull we can chase with silver and use to drink their blood red wine? Well, let’s get on with it – and hopefully cause a few SJWs to lose their lunches, and eventually...

Monday morning Macross Saga

Monday. As the Russians would say: Пиздец блять нахуй, какой дерьмовый день!!! No, I don’t like pandas. As far as I’m concerned, this is one species that is thoroughly deserving of getting its ass totally extinctified. Right. Well. Bitching about...