“We are Forerunners. Guardians of all that exists. The roots of the Galaxy have grown deep under our careful tending. Where there is life, the wisdom of our countless generations has saturated the soil. Our strength is a luminous sun, towards which all intelligence blossoms… And the impervious shelter, beneath which it has prospered.”

“Citizenship is an attitude, a state of mind…”

“But this universe consists of paired dualities. What is the converse of authority? Mr. Rico.”  He had picked one I could answer. “Responsibility, sir.”  “Applause. Both for practical reasons and for mathematically verifiable moral ones, to permit...

He walked face-first into that one

Yes, let’s all trust Jeb the Builder to fix all of the problems that ail this country: In the annals of American political slogan-writing, no one has ever borrowed material from a British cartoon.  Jeb Bush can fix that.  And Twitter can mock him...

An evergreen legend

“U Can’t Touch This”, Federer Edition It’s worth taking a break once in a while from ranting about politics, the war against Islam, the war for the culture, and HALO to point out that, even in these dark and cynical days, there is still...

A President and a pussy

Really not that hard to tell who’s who: Now, I’m not that big a fan of President Putin, either. Yes, he’s certainly a far manlier man than Odoofuss is… but that doesn’t strike me as much of a bar to clear. There are 120lb girls at my...

A journalist worthy of the name

Hey, look what happens when a so-called “journalist” FINALLY DOES HIS GODDAMN JOB and actually pushes President Odumbass about his epic cock-ups: Imagine that. An incompetent self-delusional narcissist actually has trouble handling criticism, no matter how...

Leif Erikson Day

The National Geographic asks an interesting and at least somewhat worthy question: This past Friday was Leif Erikson Day, a U.S. holiday that honors the Icelandic explorer whom some believe was the first European to reach North America.  Leif Erikson Day doesn’t...

Talk to me, Goose…

I love the movie Top Gun. And the thing is, I really shouldn’t. It is, without question, the gayest non-gay movie ever made. The entire plot was stitched together out of used Kleenex and soft-focus shots of Kelly McGillis, back when she was actually hot. About...

Come and get them, you jug-eared idiot

And once again, the tinpot would-be dictator shows us his true colours by hinting at going well beyond mere gun control and straight into gun confiscation: In the mid-1990s Australia and Great Britain both instituted what were virtually complete bans on...

Karma really is a bitch

Especially if “Karma” happens to be the name of that Manic Pixie Dream Girl type in the corner cubicle at work who absolutely will get your ass fired if you say the wrong thing to her. What would be “the wrong thing”? Open your mouth to...

That’s what goats are for, buddy

Unsurprisingly, the Koran really doesn’t have an equivalent to the Tenth Commandment A British Muslim who decided to defect to ISIS is finding out the rather less savoury aspects of Arab culture, and took to Tumblr to document his travails in typically...