“We are Forerunners. Guardians of all that exists. The roots of the Galaxy have grown deep under our careful tending. Where there is life, the wisdom of our countless generations has saturated the soil. Our strength is a luminous sun, towards which all intelligence blossoms… And the impervious shelter, beneath which it has prospered.”

The Collapsing Tor-pire

It would appear that Castalia House has decided that a certain 6’3″ ex-Marine badass hasn’t been piled onto enough for the questionable quality of his writing: The Third Edition of The Encyclopedia of Science Fiction says: “If anyone...

We all know the appropriate response

Apparently a bunch of very silly female vegetarians (Lord, forgive us our redundancies) have gotten it into their heads that they need to teach those horrible, terrible, no good, very bad Cubans not to eat meat: The animal advocacy organization People for the...

They may not have thought this all the way through

Various Democrat Congresscritters appear to be looking into the possibility of impeaching the God-Emperor as a way to salve the extreme pain being caused by their still-gaping anal fissures: WASHINGTON, D.C. — Democratic lawmakers are openly questioning President...

Let it be war, then

Stand your ground. Don’t fire unless fired upon- but if they mean to have a war, let it begin here. — Attributed to Captain John Parker at Lexington Green, 1775It would appear that everybody’s favourite Dangerous Faggot, Milo Yiannopoulos, has landed...

“The time for half-measures and talk is over”

Once again, the ever-so-caring and open-minded Left shows us their true colours when confronted with the prospect of a flamboyant gay conservative speaking his mind at UC Berkeley: Protesters tore down barricades, let off fireworks and set the campus ablaze during the...

So much winning I can’t even

My folks and I got an email from my sister this morning which contained an article arguing that the God-Emperor’s executive orders and actions to date represented some sort of preparations for a coup against the beloved American Republic… or some such...

Carpet-bomb Turtle Bay

I have to admit that, my deep-seated cynicism about American politics aside, the God-Emperor of Mankind has proven to be even more energetic and effective over the last few days than I had thought possible. The Mayor of Tampa has already bowed to Trump’s...

And the problem is…?

Leftists of an overly literal nature are advised to lookup the definition of “satire” before proceeding. I’ve got a copy of the Oxford English Dictionary handy if you want to borrow it. Just kindly return it in the state you found it- I do NOT want...

The Feast of the Emperor’s Ascension

The long-awaited day has dawned, brothers. Today, Donald J. Trump became the 45th President of the United States of America. There was a time when I thought that I would never, ever hear those words. The very idea that this fleshy, coarse, bouffant-haired,...