“We are Forerunners. Guardians of all that exists. The roots of the Galaxy have grown deep under our careful tending. Where there is life, the wisdom of our countless generations has saturated the soil. Our strength is a luminous sun, towards which all intelligence blossoms… And the impervious shelter, beneath which it has prospered.”
Looking back at the past month, it is nearly impossible to believe how quickly His Most Illustrious, Noble, August, Benevolent, and Legendary Celestial Majesty, the God-Emperor of Mankind, Donaldus Triumphus Magnus Astra, the First of His Name, the Lion of Midnight,...
Red-blooded men everywhere truly hate this day, because it involves turning romance, love, and care, into a commercialised nightmare created specifically by a sinister global cartel of flower and greeting card companies, with a hefty assist from the French champagne...
There are some days where it seems like you run out of internet by about 10am, and you have another 10 hours ahead to get through… somehow. And then there are other days when you have literally no time to take a bathroom break, despite having drunk two cups of...
I think it is fair to say that the overwhelming majority of my readership consists of introverts – many of us EXTREMELY introverted. Now, contrary to popular opinion, this does not mean we are incapable of interacting with people. In fact, as I have pointed out...
This latest instalment of everyone’s favourite part of the site was not supposed to be late. I almost had it all lined up and ready last night – but then I realised that the model I had in mind, who did not appear to have any real biographical information,...
In the world of pastries and confectioneries, I am given to understand that there is an entire chain – a global one, actually – of fast food shops that specialise in selling extremely sweet and sugary treats that are designed to make you feel as happy as...
This has NOT been a good week for me – hell, it has not been a good YEAR for me, full stop. It all started on December 23rd, when we contracted a gnarly case of food poisoning, via – of all things – a dodgy kebab. So Christmas was not exactly very...
We are barely three days into 2025, and already it is shaping up to be a most consequential and probably crazy year – crazier, if anything, than the past three combined. I certainly hope I am wrong about that. But, given what we have seen since, oh, about early...
Here we are at last, the very last instalment of this much-loved series – for the year of 2024, anyway. Given how difficult it is getting to find natural and attractive talent, even among the Slavic Instathot crowd, one does have to wonder how much longer I can...
Just a few more sleeps until Christmas, boys. Assuming Brandon, the now-provably Fake President, does not do something genuinely insane and blow up the entire world before that happens, the best time of the year will soon be upon us. (Do not discount the possibility...
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