“We are Forerunners. Guardians of all that exists. The roots of the Galaxy have grown deep under our careful tending. Where there is life, the wisdom of our countless generations has saturated the soil. Our strength is a luminous sun, towards which all intelligence blossoms… And the impervious shelter, beneath which it has prospered.”

Black-knighting, level: Sh*tlord

by | Feb 3, 2016 | fat girl jihad, Uncategorized

When you really really need to troll someone good and hard, you will not be able to find a finer source of inspiration (or hairstyling tips) than Emperor Butt-Pirate himself: When I announced I was going to be writing on plus-size Barbie dolls, you no doubt expected...

Poor kid

by | Jan 14, 2016 | fat girl jihad, Uncategorized

To steal a quote from our good friend the Captain, “we don’t need to stiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiking fathers!”: Spurred on by the profound regret of an older friend who’d searched high and low for the perfect father only to run out of time, I decided to...

Are they sponsored?

by | Dec 28, 2015 | fat girl jihad, Uncategorized

That is the real question that everyone should be asking of these Instagram “models”- who by the way nobody else has ever heard of- that are (apparently) raking in millions of dollars a year from their income making faces and looking hot in very tight...

When women just ask to get punched

by | Oct 12, 2015 | fat girl jihad, Uncategorized

This is a rather interesting video that was banned by the SJW set that appears to be firmly entrenched within YouTube, for “promoting hate speech”. In reality, it does precisely nothing of the sort: The basic point of this video is that, when women act...

Karma really is a bitch

by | Oct 2, 2015 | fat girl jihad, Uncategorized

Especially if “Karma” happens to be the name of that Manic Pixie Dream Girl type in the corner cubicle at work who absolutely will get your ass fired if you say the wrong thing to her. What would be “the wrong thing”? Open your mouth to...

The princess and the shiv

by | Sep 22, 2015 | fat girl jihad, Uncategorized

Somewhere in Washington, D.C., or wherever the hell it is that Chateau Heartiste is based, He-Whose-Name-Keeps-Changing must be positively crapping himself with delight to see that SCIENCE has once again confirmed he’s been preaching for years: Whether they...

The sexbot and the feminist

by | Sep 17, 2015 | fat girl jihad, Uncategorized

WYB? That image is from a criminally underrated show on Fox from last year called “Almost Human”, starring the even more criminally underrated Eomer SSGT John Grimm Karl Urban. (Fox very sadly cancelled that show waaaaay too soon- what is it about the...