“We are Forerunners. Guardians of all that exists. The roots of the Galaxy have grown deep under our careful tending. Where there is life, the wisdom of our countless generations has saturated the soil. Our strength is a luminous sun, towards which all intelligence blossoms… And the impervious shelter, beneath which it has prospered.”

It’s not JUST about intelligence

“… what was your name again?” A boffin by the name of Prof. David Bainbridge caused a bit of a stir in the mainstream media when he released findings that, among other things, claim to support the view that men prize brains over breasts: Men value...

Warpigs… literally

If this is the best that the Kazakhstani military has to offer as a recruiting incentive, then I seriously doubt that they’ll ever pose any kind of threat to the other former Soviet bloc states in their immediate vicinity: Military officials in Kazakhstan...

At least she’s a cheap date

Apparently, Faceborg COO and irritatingly smug feminist Sheryl Sandberg thinks that a man can get laid like tile as long as he actually sweeps the tiles: If we are to believe one of the world’s wealthiest feminists, the route to a man getting a rich and...

Clint can deal

It would appear that Clint Eastwood’s latest girlfriend is, how you say, a few cards short of a full deck: Clint Eastwood showed off his new girlfriend Christina Sandera on the red carpet at the Academy Awards, and now her ex-husband is opening up about their...

She never gets old

Well, it’s far more accurate to say that Michelle Jenneke’s warm-up dancing routine never gets old: As for Ms. Jenneke herself, she’s about 21 now and… well, this: Somehow I don’t remember hurdling being quite this interesting The thing...

The anti-feminine package

Christy Mack Prof. of Skankology, Accidental Trollop University “Let Me Tell You a Story to Chill the Bones, ‘Bout a Thing That I Saw…” Ladies and gentlemen, if I may ask for your indulgence, let me spin you a little yarn. It’s the tale...

Shorts

So No More Jar Jar Binks, Then? Pictured: A former filmmaker and producer Jabba the Lucas is apparently a bit pissed off at the fact that Disney (very wisely) ignored all of his ideas for STAR WARS VII: The Force Awakens. They even had the audacity, the bare-faced...

Ladies, meet your new role model

All that and brains too- or so we’re supposed to believe I thought it was against corporate policy at most newspapers to encourage their writers to take hallucinogens, but apparently that is exactly what a particularly unhinged writer at the Telly did when...