“We are Forerunners. Guardians of all that exists. The roots of the Galaxy have grown deep under our careful tending. Where there is life, the wisdom of our countless generations has saturated the soil. Our strength is a luminous sun, towards which all intelligence blossoms… And the impervious shelter, beneath which it has prospered.”

The Eighties are back

And if BATTLE BEAST has anything to say about the subject, they’re bloody well here to stay: These guys opened for SABATON on Friday night, and I have to say, they were BADASS. Normally, any band that hits the stage before SABATON is going to be in for a rather...

Drunken Scottish pirate metal

See, this is why you DO NOT, under ANY circumstances, EVER give a Scotsman the keys to the liquor cabinet: This isn’t, if I’m honest, ALESTORM’s best song- I maintain that is still “Death Throes of the Terrorsquid”, with...

Hail to the hammer

I realise that it is probably rather churlish and distinctly against the Christian spirit of tolerance and forgiveness during the seasons of Lent and Easter to say that I enjoy watching antifags and leftists getting the snot beaten out of them by the mighty...

Stupid, cheesy, and yet…

Undeniably brilliant: Yes, I know, MANOWAR are beyond ridiculous- at least, to American ears. In much of Europe, though, they are revered as pioneers and icons of power metal, and they sound no more ridiculous or absurd than, say, HAMMERFALL or POWER QUEST. Yet...

OK, SERIOUSLY, Japan, WHAT THE F—?!

Just when you thought things couldn’t get more batshit insane than BABYMETAL, here come the Japanese to jump up and down on that idea: … Yeah. I don’t get it either. But I will admit, it’s actually pretty damn good. Here’s a note to...

How do you improve on a classic?

Before continuing with this post, I have to say that I find myself in the odd position of having to apologise for someone else’s cock-up. The reason why this is the first article since Friday, and the reason why my usual Friday T&A segment is missing (which,...

As the IRON FIRE burns

Martin Steene and Kirk Bacharach aren’t exactly household names, even among metalheads, but over the last year or so I have come to greatly appreciate their work in a Danish band called IRON FIRE. The lineup is really a revolving door of musicians with an...

Eigo de, onegaishimasu?

Those of you who were introduced to the balls-out batshit insanity that is BABYMETAL probably know this already, but when it comes to music, Japan is actually considerably crazier than you might be led to believe initially. This is especially true when it...

The classic vibe never gets old

I once saw a little-known power metal band called ARCTIC FLAME open up for the granddaddies of the genre, GAMMA RAY, back in, oh, about 2010. By metal standards, the entire band might as well have pensioner passes; every single one of the band members must have been...

The Accolade

Being somewhat familiar with the state that is known as “the armpit of America”- that is to say, New Jersey- it would be easy for me to give into the stereotypes and argue that nothing much of any good ever comes from around here. After all, this is the...