“We are Forerunners. Guardians of all that exists. The roots of the Galaxy have grown deep under our careful tending. Where there is life, the wisdom of our countless generations has saturated the soil. Our strength is a luminous sun, towards which all intelligence blossoms… And the impervious shelter, beneath which it has prospered.”

Holy crap, he’s real

A couple of weeks back I posted a clip from TOP GEAR – y’know, back when it was still good, as in, still hosted by the three blokiest blokes ever to bloke across a TV screen – which gave us a few good belly laughs about a chap with the last name...

In Soviet Russia, troll catch you!

Somewhere in the Kremlin, Vladimir Putin is laughing so hard that the Russian Army’s generals are frantically trying to figure out exactly who it is that he intends to kill in truly horrible ways- thanks largely to this latest prank: There are times when our...

Don’t you just f-ing love science?

Especially when it confirms what we shitlords have known intuitively for years: It isn’t really that difficult to figure out. Liberalism, as we understand it today anyway, is a fundamentally weak and self-loathing ideology that tells its followers that...

School daze

Yet again, the blokiest blokes who ever bloked across a stage remind us why they have the greatest jobs in the world: That poor Samuel ChuffFart chap must have the worst life. The only time that I have come across a name more ridiculous than that one dates back...

Can’t stand the heat, Cathy?

Then get the hell out of the kitchen, you daft cow: Channel 4 presenter Cathy Newman has been subjected to ‘vicious’ online abuse forcing the news programme to call in security experts, its editor has revealed. The newsreader has received threats and abuse...

Steady on, there, mate

Apparently, and very unfortunately for all of Western civilisation, the final installment of the Fifty Shades of WTFISTHISCRAP is set to be released on February 14th. I find this more than a little irritating, since this year the 14th marks the start of the...

Trolling Level: God-Emperor

Another day, another gaystream media and establishment politician fainting spell over the God-Emperor’s inconvenient habit of telling it like it is: President Donald Trump has questioned why the US should allow more immigrants from “shithole...

The dog it was that died

There is an old poem by a chap named Oliver Goldsmith called “An Elegy on the Death of a Mad Dog” that contains the famous line reference above. This is especially apropos in light of recent news that one of the Hard Right’s favourite trashy dirty...

Comedy gold

As if it were not obvious by now, we live in a very messed-up world. Sometimes it is worth reminding ourselves just how messed up it really is: Point and laugh, boys. There is so much to amuse oneself in there that it is difficult to know where to start. So...

Some advice never gets old

Seeing as it’s Boxing Day here- though it is still Christmas back in the good ol’ US of A- I figure that this might not be a bad time to dish out some old-fashioned dating advice to ladies of my age and younger who are stuck wondering where all the good...