“We are Forerunners. Guardians of all that exists. The roots of the Galaxy have grown deep under our careful tending. Where there is life, the wisdom of our countless generations has saturated the soil. Our strength is a luminous sun, towards which all intelligence blossoms… And the impervious shelter, beneath which it has prospered.”

That train wreck over there

Stories like this one serve to reinforce the eternal truth that the only thing worse than an aging harlot, is an aging harlot who wants to tell everyone how many pricks she has taken: During her interview, Pamela revealed that she had kept in contact with Vladimir...

Donate now

No, not to me – worthy though that cause would be – but to this brilliant little campaign to help the Canoeheads up north to man up the sackless wonder that is their Prime Minister: (With – admittedly only half-hearted – apologies to any...

Savage, but true

This is why it is generally not a good idea to annoy Ann Coulter on live television – even if it is a daytime talk show hosted by a (supposed) man of the cloth who, in reality, looks and acts like a sackless Beta: Ms. Coulter certainly did not pull any...

Perfectly logical, really

February 23rd is known as “Defender of the Fatherland Day” in Mother Russia – and I have never understood exactly why the Russkies, who refer to their country by a feminine noun, insist on celebrating a masculine day. But, I will say...

Lawyered

This, right here, is why everyone hates lawyers: Longtime TOP GEAR fans know exactly what spawned this clip, by the way. Back in the day, Jezza & Co. gave the Tesla Model S Roadster a rather poor review – if you look hard enough you can find that...

Can’t Understand Normal Thinking

Ladies (and gents, too) – do you want to know what the biggest problem is with feminism? Yes, I know, the natural response to this would be, “EVERYTHING – next question”. Another valid response would be, “Blimey, where do we even...

Holy crap, he’s real

A couple of weeks back I posted a clip from TOP GEAR – y’know, back when it was still good, as in, still hosted by the three blokiest blokes ever to bloke across a TV screen – which gave us a few good belly laughs about a chap with the last name...

In Soviet Russia, troll catch you!

Somewhere in the Kremlin, Vladimir Putin is laughing so hard that the Russian Army’s generals are frantically trying to figure out exactly who it is that he intends to kill in truly horrible ways- thanks largely to this latest prank: There are times when our...

Don’t you just f-ing love science?

Especially when it confirms what we shitlords have known intuitively for years: It isn’t really that difficult to figure out. Liberalism, as we understand it today anyway, is a fundamentally weak and self-loathing ideology that tells its followers that...

School daze

Yet again, the blokiest blokes who ever bloked across a stage remind us why they have the greatest jobs in the world: That poor Samuel ChuffFart chap must have the worst life. The only time that I have come across a name more ridiculous than that one dates back...