“We are Forerunners. Guardians of all that exists. The roots of the Galaxy have grown deep under our careful tending. Where there is life, the wisdom of our countless generations has saturated the soil. Our strength is a luminous sun, towards which all intelligence blossoms… And the impervious shelter, beneath which it has prospered.”
No doubt all of you have heard by now that Bill Gates, the evil overlord of the EEEEEEEVIL empire of Microsoft, is getting divorced. Given that this is BILL FREAKIN’ GATES that we’re talking about – pretty much the third or fourth richest man in the...
Seeing as how it’s “Star Wars Day” – the biggest fake holiday after Kwanzaa – it’s probably worth taking a moment to remember back when STAR WARS USED to be truly amazing: The Devil Mouse has managed to do the utterly IMPOSSIBLE: It...
Back when Warner Bros. dropped the Godzilla vs Kong film trailer on YooToobz, I reacted with a snort of derision. It seemed to be too stupid for words – a really big dumb loud monster flick that made even Godzilla: King of the Monsters look sensible and sane by...
Feast your eyes upon the magnificence, the glory, the brilliance, of that cover artwork, lads. That is going to be the cover of the next POWERWOLF album. And it looks SUPER F***ING AMAZEBALLS. As Longtime Readers know quite well by now, when it comes to POWERWOLF, I...
Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh and consort to Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II, often known for his acerbic and quick-witted and extremely politically incorrect comments on every subject under the Sun, is dead: The Queen today announced with ‘deep sorrow’...
So there’s a new HELLOWEEN album dropping later this year, and they just released the first single from it – a 7-minute sprawling epic called “Skyfall” that, quite hilariously, references MEGADETH and pays great tribute to the...
After more than 8 years of writing, plenty of terrific articles, lots of seriously HAWT chicks, and some epic moments on this ‘ere very ‘eavy, very ‘umble site full of rants and tumbleweeds, I am sorry to say that we must part ways, you and I. You...
The never-to-be-sufficiently-cursed whorenalists and presstitutes of the traitorous (((media))))))) have spilled a great deal of ink, and even more crocodile-tears, over the attacks on Asians in multiple US cities over the past few weeks. The narrative that the...
A very great deal of ink has been spilled about the latest round of stupidity from Harry and the Half-Blood Princess. Quite a few genuinely hilarious memes have come out of it all too. You saw many of them in a recent Great Mondaydact Browser Crusher. I have no...
Sometimes, even the lying scum among the presstitutes can sort of tell the truth. the largest tabloid toilet-paper substitute in PommieBastardLande produced a comprehensive report showing the true cost of the Kung Flu lockdowns in that country. And, as the headline...
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