Of all of the American holidays, Thanksgiving was always my favourite while I was living there. It is a demonstration of everything that is best about America, and not even the best attempts of the woke wankers to disrupt it by peddling very stupid narratives about how the Pilgrims came over and destroyed the peace-loving Natives, can ruin it. This is a glorious part of America’s heritage, so enjoy it to the fullest.

Peace and good wishes to you and your family on this most special of days – I hope y’all have managed to murder a HUGE turkey, will eat and drink far too much, and generally spend the evening in a food coma watching football. That’s how it should be, after all.