“We are Forerunners. Guardians of all that exists. The roots of the Galaxy have grown deep under our careful tending. Where there is life, the wisdom of our countless generations has saturated the soil. Our strength is a luminous sun, towards which all intelligence blossoms… And the impervious shelter, beneath which it has prospered.”

Monday morning Karen keepaway

Bloody hell, another Monday – one where I have some gnarly allergies, to boot. And here I’ve gone over 30 years without having severe allergic reactions to anything – other than Leftist stupidity, that is. But, time marches on, and so too does...

Monday morning Force-chokes

It’s Monday again – the weekly piss-bucket dump on our heads that just sets the tone for everything else, really. That, of course, is why I’m here with a mop and paper towels, to help you get over it. It’s Monday, May the 4th, which means that...

Monday morning CNNLOLs

Monday. BLAAARRGH. As always, though, your friend the Didact is here to make it much better with the Great Mondaydact Browser Crash. And we start by beating up on everyone’s favourite punching bag – CNNLOL. You know how I stated pretty bluntly a few days...

Monday morning with Brian Dennehy

Ugh. Monday again. That being said, there are some heartening signs that people are getting absolutely fed to the back teeth with the restrictions that they have been placed under, for NO GOOD REASON WHATSOEVER. Americans are spontaneously organising to protest...

Monday morning with the Omega Man

It is Easter Monday, which means that some of you are on holiday – and most of you, this year, are on holiday whether you like it or not. That is of course due to the unfortunate effects of the Kung Flu. And as you’ll find out tomorrow if you read the...

Monday Morning Battle Royale

Ah, Monday, my old enemy, we meet again. Actually, you know why that cat is really depressed? Because he just did an internet search and realised that, in China, he would be breakfast on a Monday. Nonetheless, both you and the cat can feel better now, because yer...

Monday morning pandemic pandering

Well, here we are at Monday again, and to be very honest, it’s been a pretty grim start to the week. As of this exact time of writing, there are over 723,000 confirmed cases of Corona-chan’s pestilential blessings around the world, with over 142,000...

Monday Morning Kung Flu Fighting

Hell’s Bells, it’s Monday again. And, unfortunately, if you thought that last week was bad, this week looks like it’s going to be even worse. And we all know why that is. It is because the Chinese gave the ENTIRE FREAKIN’ WORLD a...

Monday morning Hell Week

Boys, I’m gonna level with you: last week absolutely was the week from Hell. Everything hit pretty much right at the same time – a full moon that sent all the crazies into overdrive and meltdown; a killer pandemic sweeping the globe and resulting in...

Monday morning with Tex Avery

Oh shit, it’s Monday again… Still and all, we might as well make the best of it, with the usual epic Great Mondaydact Browser Crash. And we’ll start with some good old-fashioned Tex Avery cartoons – though my loyal American readers might have a...