“We are Forerunners. Guardians of all that exists. The roots of the Galaxy have grown deep under our careful tending. Where there is life, the wisdom of our countless generations has saturated the soil. Our strength is a luminous sun, towards which all intelligence blossoms… And the impervious shelter, beneath which it has prospered.”

“Great literature”, eh?

Mommy-porn aficionados the world over have been desperately trying to convince the rest of us that Fifty Shades of Grey and its sequels are great literature. Oh really? Try telling me that after listening to Gilbert Gottfried narrate a passage from the first...

“Idiocracy” was a documentary

That is the only possible conclusion that I think that a rational man can reach after seeing “news” stories like this one: The businessman’s [Didact: “businessman”? Isn’t that a bit of a stretch?] less than pleased reaction to...

Why is this news?

American “football”- or, as the rest of the civilised world calls it, gridiron- is not something with which I ordinarily concern myself. I have no clue how it’s played, I just know that it’s a sort of sanitised version of rugby, played with...

Put your top back on, woman

Blah blah blah feminist statement blah blah small-breasted women something something and would you please put that shirt on again, Keira? To many, it might seem like an odd decision. Keira Knightley, famously private, has posed topless for a fashion magazine. The...

All the single ladies

… are bloody well going to stay single, judging by what follows. Wanted: Naive, easily bamboozled men willing to put up with massive amounts of female nonsense for the privilege of maybe being able to nail a really hot piece of Brazilian ass once in a...

Trust

Lord but it is good to be back home. (Going back to work and having my extroverted colleague yapping in my ear all the time, not so much…) Yet I cannot help but feel a wrenching sense of loss at having left Eretz Israel. I have said it before, and now I...

Back on the iron horse

The absolute worst thing about coming back from a vacation is that, for the time that you’re away, your normal training regimen and fitness routine is completely disrupted. Trying to pick it up again is not a pleasant experience. When you’re on vacation,...

White-knighting is not worth an ass-beating

A (male) writer for the Telly is somewhat perplexed as to why he couldn’t do the “gentlemanly” thing and step in during an altercation between a large man and a small woman: The man wouldn’t let her get away. As she grew visibly more distressed, his...

Rediscovering the blindingly obvious

A female writer for the Telegraph belatedly discovers the basics of girl game: A few weeks ago, I was hanging out with some male friends [Didact: Translation- guys she would not sleep with] and conversation turned to which female celebrities would be on my...

Dumbing down Alpha

In which a spat between a douchebag and a crybaby over the erstwhile affections of one of the most beautiful women alive is thoroughly misrepresented: A battle erupted this week between film star Orlando Bloom and teen popstrel and social irritant Justin Bieber...