“We are Forerunners. Guardians of all that exists. The roots of the Galaxy have grown deep under our careful tending. Where there is life, the wisdom of our countless generations has saturated the soil. Our strength is a luminous sun, towards which all intelligence blossoms… And the impervious shelter, beneath which it has prospered.”

That sound you just heard…

… is what happens when the heads of millions of HALO fanboyz across the world spontaneously ASSPLODE from the unbearable awesomeness of the latest announcement from E3: Although Microsoft’s lucrative Halo franchise was started by Bungie, its legacy and...

Dead But Rising

The latest album by Swedish metal-rollers VOLBEAT was released last year. Called “Outlaw Gentlemen & Shady Ladies”, it was actually a notch below its outstanding predecessor, “Beyond Hell/Above Heaven”, but was a very solid chunk of heavy,...

HALO 5: Guardians

Goddammit, 2015 is so far away! “Halo” isn’t simply a perennial game franchise, it’s a part of the Xbox platform itself. In terms of innovation and ideation, it’s sometimes important to people who might not even play “Halo.” And of course it’s a passion and an...

May the Fourth be with you

Happy STAR WARS day, all. Let us try to remember what made the original trilogy so amazing- and why the prequels sucked ass, and why the sequels will almost surely suck worse. Share this: Share on X (Opens in new window) X Share on Facebook (Opens in new window)...

Double bass makes everything better

If you actually bother to listen to mainstream “music”, you may have heard of a song called “Wake Me Up” by a Swedish bloke named AVICII. This song should officially be quarantined by the CDC- damn thing is catchier than crabs. Fortunately, for...

Starboard guns ready to fire, Cap’n

Vox tells his critics to put up or shut up in spectacular fashion: Back when I first responded to NK Jemisin’s various attacks and lies in my inimitably calm and factual manner, the SFWA writers reacted with much the same combination of outrage and vitriol...

The Angry White Boy Polka

If you’ve never seen this Weird Al classic, you’re missing out on some real hilarity: Share this: Share on X (Opens in new window) X Share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Facebook Share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window) LinkedIn Share on WhatsApp (Opens...

We NEED a HALO 2 Anniversary Edition

The Master Chief, doing what he does best- being a complete badass. Whether we get one or not is open to some debate, though: Update 2: IGN has received the original email interview with Steve Downes from GameZone, where the website asks, “Looking...

The wisdom of Bas Rutten

If you’re not familiar with the world of Mixed Martial Arts competition, then the name “Bas Rutten” won’t mean a single damn thing to you. For those of you who practice martial arts and enjoy watching grown men beat the ever-lovin’...