“We are Forerunners. Guardians of all that exists. The roots of the Galaxy have grown deep under our careful tending. Where there is life, the wisdom of our countless generations has saturated the soil. Our strength is a luminous sun, towards which all intelligence blossoms… And the impervious shelter, beneath which it has prospered.”

The final countdown

No, not the really cheesy synth-based surprise smash hit by EUROPE (and the VASTLY better death metal cover of the same by CHILDREN OF BODOM)- the final countdown to the launch of TOP GEAR SEASON 24… uh, I mean, THE GRAND TOUR: I’ve already got my Amazon...

The Didact’s God-Emperor Victory Gym Playlist

With The Donald’s victory, it’s time to start celebrating, lads! Break out the beer and scotch and 120-proof rum! And what better way to get this party started than by cranking up some EPIC VICTORY SONGS!!! (Otherwise known as “music for breaking the...

Please shoot the Bieber-clone in the face

LastRedoubt pointed me toward the trailer for the next John Wick film, and I have to say, it looks BADASS: I didn’t get around to watching the first John Wick until, I think, April this year. This was despite the fact that reader Carey had emphatically told...

Honey-badger-crazy

Tom Cruise might be completely batshit insane. But damn the man can act. I mean, OK, fine, we’d have to throw Top Gun out as a mulligan, I suppose- it’s the gayest non-gay movie ever made, it’s ridiculous beyond words, and the acting in it...

Friday T&A: Visit Thailand edition

Okay, first things first, before some smartass points it out: I know it’s Saturday, I was busy last night attending a (really rather awesome) metal concert. First knucklehead to point out the blindingly obvious gets slapped upside the head, Agent...

We’re gonna have to ditch the umlauts…

Did you ever wonder what our favourite metal songs would sound like without all of that lovely distortion that gives really great heavy metal its eardrum-raping sound? No? Oh. Well, then, don’t wonder no longer: Bloody hell. That makes SLAYER sound like...

The Pacific Rim of heavy metal

I had the immense pleasure of going to see SABATON play live the other night as they tour North America in support of their (awesome) new album. Now, if you’ve never been to see a SABATON gig, and you like their music, you need to do yourself the favour of...