“We are Forerunners. Guardians of all that exists. The roots of the Galaxy have grown deep under our careful tending. Where there is life, the wisdom of our countless generations has saturated the soil. Our strength is a luminous sun, towards which all intelligence blossoms… And the impervious shelter, beneath which it has prospered.”

Hey, that’s Mr. Bean!!!

Over the last several weeks (… well, months, actually), I’ve been binge-watching Seasons 2-17 of THE GREATEST TV SHOW OF ALL T- er, I mean, TOP GEAR*. Last night I was watching Series 17, Episode 4, and the guest for that episode was, of course, the...

Shorts

It’s been quite a while since I last did one of these, so I figured I might as well take a few moments to put together a few interesting tidbits discovered from across teh interwebz that do not individually merit a full-blown post. And we start with: Dat Ass...

The Eighties are back

And if BATTLE BEAST has anything to say about the subject, they’re bloody well here to stay: These guys opened for SABATON on Friday night, and I have to say, they were BADASS. Normally, any band that hits the stage before SABATON is going to be in for a rather...

Drunken Scottish pirate metal

See, this is why you DO NOT, under ANY circumstances, EVER give a Scotsman the keys to the liquor cabinet: This isn’t, if I’m honest, ALESTORM’s best song- I maintain that is still “Death Throes of the Terrorsquid”, with...

Stupid, cheesy, and yet…

Undeniably brilliant: Yes, I know, MANOWAR are beyond ridiculous- at least, to American ears. In much of Europe, though, they are revered as pioneers and icons of power metal, and they sound no more ridiculous or absurd than, say, HAMMERFALL or POWER QUEST. Yet...

Still not tired

The opposition party in the liberal media scored a truly beautiful own-goal (again) when Rachel Maddow attempted to answer a question that almost nobody had ever asked: Instead of getting right to her big scoop about a 2005 Trump tax return she obtained, Maddow opened...

How do you improve on a classic?

Before continuing with this post, I have to say that I find myself in the odd position of having to apologise for someone else’s cock-up. The reason why this is the first article since Friday, and the reason why my usual Friday T&A segment is missing (which,...

As the IRON FIRE burns

Martin Steene and Kirk Bacharach aren’t exactly household names, even among metalheads, but over the last year or so I have come to greatly appreciate their work in a Danish band called IRON FIRE. The lineup is really a revolving door of musicians with an...

The swift vengeance of the God-Emperor

President Donald Trump- dear Lord Almighty, I don’t think I’m ever going to get tired of saying those words- held a press conference on Thursday which was… quite the performance. Actually, a correction is in order there. The event was...

The Spirit of Fire returns

HALO WARS was not, by any stretch of anybody’s imagination, the best HALO game ever. It wasn’t even in the top five. It is difficult, after all, to imagine an RTS game making much sense in a universe generally defined by what was originally a...