“We are Forerunners. Guardians of all that exists. The roots of the Galaxy have grown deep under our careful tending. Where there is life, the wisdom of our countless generations has saturated the soil. Our strength is a luminous sun, towards which all intelligence blossoms… And the impervious shelter, beneath which it has prospered.”

Not that I’m paying attention or anything…

But this bit of news about the UEFA Cup 2016 caught my eye- apparently a bunch of football (that’s “soccer” to you non-English-speaking Americans) fans got into a bit of a punch-up before the Russia-England game in France: England and Russia...

Flop Gear

To precisely nobody’s surprise, the “new and improved” TOP GEAR sucks harder than your housekeeper’s vacuum cleaner: The BBC show, presented by Chris Evans, has fallen below 3 million viewers for its second episode of the new...

CrossFit: Not Even Once

Your local CrossFit box: where common sense, good form, and GAINS all go to die. I was out yesterday with some buddies from my martial arts school for a few beers, and the CrossFit Question came up. One of the guys is a pharmacist, and he told us that a lot of people...

Hail to the Queen

Now THAT is how you make a grand entrance: America- PHUCK YEAH!!! Try watching that before you’re setting up for your next bench press set, like I was today. I had to take a moment to gather myself, I was laughing so hard. Look, I know that Milo is a...

It’s not a question of “if”…

Gentlemen, suppose for a moment that we were all transported to a parallel dimension, where normal and sensible things did not happen very often. Suppose that, in such a universe, a certain (overhyped) MMA fighter named Ronda Rousey were taken seriously in her claims...

Bad Puppies! Sit! Stay! Heel!

… Sod off. And shove that newspaper you were about to whack us with up where the Sun don’t shine while you’re at it: For the second year in a row, nominations for the prestigious Hugo Awards for science fiction & fantasy have been swept by the...

Vegans for Earth Day

And by vegans, I mean turning vegans into BURGERS, of course. It’s Earth Day, which for evil conservative bastards like me is an excuse to fire shotguns, burn petrol, drink beer, hunt deer, and crank the Viking death metal up WAAAAAAAAAAAY too loud. (That sort...