“We are Forerunners. Guardians of all that exists. The roots of the Galaxy have grown deep under our careful tending. Where there is life, the wisdom of our countless generations has saturated the soil. Our strength is a luminous sun, towards which all intelligence blossoms… And the impervious shelter, beneath which it has prospered.”

The real Modern Man List

Remember that ridiculous list that New York Times “journalist” Brian Lombardi wrote up back in October? The one where he appeared to be suffering from acute vaginal cramping, and ended up claiming that the mark of a real man is his possession of a F!@#ING...

That’s gonna give me nightmares

Uncle Bill reads a Hillary Clinton storybook. Horror ensues: Share this: Share on X (Opens in new window) X Share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Facebook Share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window) LinkedIn Share on WhatsApp (Opens in new window) WhatsApp Share on...

Told you so

(Yeah, I know, the video quality is shite. Sorry.) All I can say is that I totally called this one: I never expected #idiocracy to become a documentary. — Etan Cohen (@etanjc) February 24, 2016 Well, with all due respect, Mr. Cohen, this is what I had to say on the...

When SJWs get the run of the place

Apparently these assclowns cater exclusively to the “douchebag” market. That’s the only way I can explain why they’re all dressed like vaginal cleansing aids. Does anyone else find it highly ironic that a company that specialises in telling...

“Phony, stupid con game”

That is precisely what Valentine’s Day is: Share this: Share on X (Opens in new window) X Share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Facebook Share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window) LinkedIn Share on WhatsApp (Opens in new window) WhatsApp Share on Telegram (Opens...

There goes my alumni donation

One of the best universities in the world (according to several different standards) is now doing its damnedest to become one of the stupidest in the world, thanks to overzealous nitwits who want to suppress the free speech of their fellows: In a stunning display of...

Black-knighting, level: Sh*tlord

When you really really need to troll someone good and hard, you will not be able to find a finer source of inspiration (or hairstyling tips) than Emperor Butt-Pirate himself: When I announced I was going to be writing on plus-size Barbie dolls, you no doubt expected...

You can’t cure stupid

Infinite Elgintensity does his usual bang-up job of mocking CrossSh*t’s unforgivably cavalier attitude toward sanity and safety: Injuries from the Washed Up Loser Olympics (2015) by InfiniteElgintensity Wow. Just… wow. If you’ve ever wondered why I...

Never send a woman to do a man’s job

It truly does warm the frozen core of my evil Minion heart to witness the BBC’sutterly ham-fisted attempts to revive what used to be the greatest TV show ever made: Fans’ fears are growing over the relaunch of BBCflagship show Top Gear amid fresh...