“We are Forerunners. Guardians of all that exists. The roots of the Galaxy have grown deep under our careful tending. Where there is life, the wisdom of our countless generations has saturated the soil. Our strength is a luminous sun, towards which all intelligence blossoms… And the impervious shelter, beneath which it has prospered.”

The only girl in tennis worth your time

Well, not HER ass, obviously Normally, I could not be bothered in the least with discussing women’s tennis. I find the women’s game generally tedious and unbearable to watch, especially when Serena Williams, Maria ShriekaSharapova, and even the lissome...

Robert E. Howard would be proud

Now THIS is how you do a hilarious send-up of Conan the Barbarian! Speaking of send-ups, there was exactly ONE good thing about the 2012 remake of Conan the Barbarian: And even SHE couldn’t save that movie from being terrible, despite being half-naked for...

Get ’em started young

You know you’ve been doing a little too much Krav Maga when you watch a ridiculously adorable video of a 7-month-old baby playing with a Siberian husky and you find yourself telling the kid to use the dog to practice his triangle and rear-naked chokes:...

The best day for the worst jokes

I love April Fool’s Day: CERN confirms that the Force exists and is, in fact, awake This is BMW’s idea of a mouth guard. I wonder how it would stand up to a sparring match? And this is Microsoft’s next smartphone operating system- which, like EVERY...

(Not quite) walking on water

This seems rather germane given that Easter is coming up. I have to say that I can’t quite see the connection between walking on water and retail-banking services- I seem to recall something in the Good Book to the effect that the Lord Christ had a few rather...

Celebrating St. Patrick’s Day in style

She must be from the Mexican part of Ireland The Irish certainly know how to do it: Whoa… who’s the redhead?!? And now a word from the greatest living Irishman: If Liam Neeson is telling you to “be very careful”, you might want to take him...

Fond childhood memories

I grew up on a steady diet of great Saturday morning cartoons- G.I Joe, He-Man and the Masters of the Universe, Transformers, Dragonball Z, and of course Thundercats. They were all great fun to watch, they all told awesome stories, and they all were the heady stuff of...

Power Rangers gone mental

I never watched any of the various Power Rangers series growing up. I never understood the appeal of watching a bunch of overgrown Skittles-coloured teenagers waving their arms around, uttering lines that could only have been written by people tripping on acid, and...

Now that’s just badass

What happens when you put the following ingredients in a blender? One Airbus A-320, courtesy of SwissAir Six F-5E Tiger jets from the Swiss Air Force’s aerobatics team One skier One slalom course A few good cameramen And a really good digital editor Well, you...

50 Shades of Good

Well, actually, just 9. All Batman-style, though, so that helps. Click to enlarge And as for the man eating ice cream- if you had to constantly save a society from itself every day, especially a society that considers mommy porn to be high art, wouldn’t you...