“We are Forerunners. Guardians of all that exists. The roots of the Galaxy have grown deep under our careful tending. Where there is life, the wisdom of our countless generations has saturated the soil. Our strength is a luminous sun, towards which all intelligence blossoms… And the impervious shelter, beneath which it has prospered.”

“How to neutralise the Twat Virus”

Only a few more days to go until the next season of THE GRAND TOUR: Well, you now know exactly where Kapios and I are going to be on Friday night: at home, on our respective couches, with a big mug of refreshing beer at hand, and the sound systems on our TVs cranked...

There goes Captain Slow

Apparently, James May was at some point the one and only remaining hope that THE GRAND TOUR- also known as the funniest damn TV show of all time- has of completing its run given that the Orangutan and the Hamster were out of commission: Oh dear. As the lads like to...

(Musical) Girl Friday

Rather than blatantly ripping off borrowing from friend and reader Last Redoubt’s Girl Friday concept- go check out the impressive collection of what the old-timers used to call “bodacious babes” over at his place- I decided to go out and find...

Oh dear

Some spanner wrote in to TOP GEAR- uh, I mean, THE GRAND TOUR- and its producers, asking that the show be made more “American”. You can sort of guess what happened after that: December 8th cannot come around fast enough. Share this: Share on X (Opens in...

The sooner, the better

The madcap geniuses behind the fake cartoon band CHILDREN OF BATMAN- the pun is hysterically funny if you know your heavy metal- have FINALLY decided to tell us when they will (probably) release the next installment of this wickedly funny series of animated shorts set...

Never go full social justice

I don’t watch Family Guy, at all. I find some of the clips from the show to be pretty amusing, but I never did much like Seth Macfarlane’s very snarky sense of humour. I didn’t realise it at the time- I must have first seen clips from the show...

Stormtroopers meet death metal

It doesn’t have to make sense. It doesn’t even have to be all that good. It just looks BADASS: You want to know the sad thing about this? That 2.5min clip is almost certainly better than every single STAR WARS movie that has been or ever will be...

Pumpkins United

In anticipation of the upcoming “Pumpkins United” tour in 2018, which will see Michael Kiske and Kai Hansen- the great-granddaddy of power metal himself- returning to HELLOWEEN after nearly thirty years apart, the Happy Happy Helloweenies have released a...

5 MORE WEEKS?!?

Why, Lord, must You torment us so?! Surely we have waited long enough for the second season of THE GRAND TOUR?!! Oh well. If the Hilldebeast isn’t going to jail and those Antifa bastards aren’t going to be shot on sight for rioting anytime soon, at...

Beta as…

Well, you know: Dear God Almighty. I need to go HURT something after watching that. Actually, Davis Aurini’s comment about the two, er, “guys” who made that video is accurate: they’re not Betas, they’re Gammas. (Assuming that the...