“We are Forerunners. Guardians of all that exists. The roots of the Galaxy have grown deep under our careful tending. Where there is life, the wisdom of our countless generations has saturated the soil. Our strength is a luminous sun, towards which all intelligence blossoms… And the impervious shelter, beneath which it has prospered.”

Priorities

This golden retriever could teach us all a thing or two about getting them straight: I have to say, I’m impressed. And it’s not just because I have a great personal fondness for big fluffy dogs in general, and golden retrievers in particular. That dog is...

The Twentieth

Just when you thought that Roger Federer’s impossibly long list of records and achievements could not get any more impressive, he went and won Grand Slam singles title number twenty earlier this morning (by our reckoning): Being the rabid Federer fan that I...

Sometimes it is good to be evil

Especially when your theme music goes something like this: Speaking of awesome evil villain theme music- I do not think that we will ever find a finer example of this than The Imperial March. Remember when Darth Vader strode onto the screen in STAR WARS IV: A New...

School daze

Yet again, the blokiest blokes who ever bloked across a stage remind us why they have the greatest jobs in the world: That poor Samuel ChuffFart chap must have the worst life. The only time that I have come across a name more ridiculous than that one dates back...

One hundred forty nine

That is the total number of minutes that it took for the latest FreeStartr campaign created by our Supreme Dark Lord (PBUH) to meet its initial goal of $7,500. Two hours, twenty-nine minutes. If the Almighty doesn’t mind pardoning my French here: Holy shit. And...

Thank God, indeed

Doff your hats, gentlemen: And in a similar vein: It goes without saying that I am, quite obviously, not a country boy. Never was and probably never will be. I was born and brought up in cities all over the world. The big difference between me and most people...

… and then some

In the world of tennis, every top-ranked tennis player should (in theory) be proficient at hitting something on the order of 25 different possible strokes. There are top-spin, side-spin, and back-spin versions of the forehand, backhand, volley, lob, drop-shot, and...

His Stigness speaks!!!

I remember seeing this clip kicking around several years back- I forget when, exactly, because as you can see I’m getting a bit old and daft at this ripe age of my early thirties- which came from a Dutch TV show that sent a camera crew and an interviewer...

Told you so

I once called Bruce “THE VOICE OF YAHWEH” Dickinson, Literally the Most Interesting Man in the World. I was, of course, correct, as this interview here shall now prove: If you can ignore the two prats from the Bolshevik Broadcasting Corporation wasting...

In Soviet Russia…

… apparently not very much has changed, even though the Iron Curtain fell well over 25 years ago: These are from the same lunatic genius who put together the “Trust Me, I’m An Engineer” video: He also decided to hold a contest to see which...