“We are Forerunners. Guardians of all that exists. The roots of the Galaxy have grown deep under our careful tending. Where there is life, the wisdom of our countless generations has saturated the soil. Our strength is a luminous sun, towards which all intelligence blossoms… And the impervious shelter, beneath which it has prospered.”

Monday morning beer goggles

by | May 13, 2024 | Mondays | 5 comments

And just like that, the weekend disappeared, exactly in line with the outcome promised by the young magician above. Mondays really do SUCK. Unfortunately, there is nothing whatsoever we can do about that – except, of course, by wasting as much time as possible, until the day is over, and we can get back to doing the things that make us happy, instead of the things that make our bosses happy.

With that spirit in mind, let us proceed with today’s Great Mondaydact Browser Hacker, by bringing back memories of the time when TV ads were actually really good.

Y’all remember the old “Most Interesting Man in the World” ads? They actually made Dos Equis beer sound borderline potable – never mind that, if you actually drink it, the stuff tastes how you would imagine frozen horse piss would.

(This, incidentally, leads us directly to Didacticus’s First Law of Beverages: “The quality and taste of an alcoholic beverage follows an inverse power law to the total marketing budget of the manufacturer”. This perfectly explains the utter undrinkability of any beer made by ABInBev, for instance.)

Well, let’s bring a bit of that epicness and class back on a Monday:


The Mighty God-Emperor

His Most Illustrious, Noble, August, Benevolent, and Legendary Celestial Majesty, the God-Emperor of Mankind, Donaldus Triumphus Magnus Astra, the First of His Name, the Lion of Midnight, may the Lord bless him and preserve him, threw down the gauntlet and challenged the Fake President to a debate, anytime and anywhere:

Brandon will, of course, refuse – not just because he is a liar and a coward, but because his handlers know damned well that his mental state has deteriorated so badly that he cannot maintain a coherent thought for longer than a few seconds at a time.


#BasedTucker is Based

Good interview, that one, but the ex-CIA operative is obviously not going to admit that the CIA had anything whatsoever to do with the assassination of JFK.

The bit at the very end is absolutely hysterical.


Dawn of Battle

The Male Brain keeps us plenty busy this week with lots of great material. We start with one from How Money Works, which kicks off in very promising fashion with a reference to the legendary movie, Office Space, about why you actually would WANT a boring job:

Another one from the same guys, explaining how “corporate social responsibility” is actually all about avoiding blame, not about doing the right thing:

Sabine Hossenfelder explains why flat-earthers are a symptom of a much bigger problem:

Lund University gives you a great insight into a true marvel of God’s Creation – the common swift, which can fly for almost 10 months without landing, apparently:

It Was a Sh*t Show talks about the legendary series, Futurama, and how FAUX executives screwed the entire thing over:


Mind-Expanding Drugs

Kurzgesagt – In a Nutshell takes a drag and explains why smoking is actually kind of an awesome experience:

Since I have never smoked in my life, I cannot say anything about this. All I can say is, the stench of a cigarette – or, worse, a joint – is utterly revolting.

That being said – I have few problems with cigar smoke, and I actually do not mind pipe smoke at all.

ThinkingWest gives us a short overview of the Christian monk who gave us our modern understanding of what it means to be truly educated:

The quote of the late, great Roger Scruton at the end is spot on. It is one that ALL of us, who consider ourselves to be Men of the West, must remember. We did not simply receive the lessons of the past in isolation – we received them with an implicit expectation that we, in our generation, will uphold, preserve, and defend those lessons for future generations.

This legacy is a priceless inheritance. And as it says in Proverbs, a good man leaves an inheritance for his children’s children.

So must we do.


Death Smiles At Us All…


Poli-Ticking Off

CGTN interviews #BasedOrban, the leader of one of the VERY few European nations that actually elects people who take the interests of their country seriously:

Viktor Orban has to play a very difficult game – balancing, somehow, between an increasingly erratic and insane EU, and an increasingly confident and powerful Russia. For the most part, he manages it very well – though he is perhaps overly scared of Russia, because of his own personal experiences with the Soviets. The key thing to keep in mind is, Hungary today is not the same as Hungary of the Warsaw Pact, and Russia today is not the same as the USSR.

Russia has absolutely zero interest in occupying Hungary ever again. The Russians simply want to be left the hell ALONE, and do business with friends who share their values. In this respect, the Hungarians and Russians have a great deal in common.


Mark Dice talks about the latest round of liberaltard insanity – the drive to eliminate Mother’s Day:


The very-thoroughly-married couple at Redacted react to the most recent utterance of blithering idiocy from the clearly-drugged-out-of-his-mind “President” of Cocainistan:


PJW comments on two chocolatiers who used a surrogate to give birth to “their” child, and then hammed things up for internet clout – warning, this is seriously hard to stomach, you are literally watching pure evil on screen:

Having children raised by homosexual men – especially ones who want to use the birth of a a child for internet views and Instagram likes – ought to be classified as severe child abuse.


Lord Razor of the Fist Clan takes a (short) victory lap after watching Sony crap itself in the wake of the MASSIVE fan backlash surrounding Helldivers 2:


Rulings from the Bench

Judge Nap had to cram a whole bunch of interviews together before his big trip to Italy – he claims it’s a working trip, but I rather fail to see how you can get any work done anywhere near Milan – and so had an absolutely packed few days. We start with Col. Douglas Macgregor, who talks about the dangers which Benjamin Netanyahu is calling down on Israel:

Maj. Scott Ritter gets VERY ranty indeed on the subject of Ukraine’s coming collapse:

Capt. Matthew Hoh points out that Israel’s attempts to suppress free thought in the FUSA is going to backfire horribly on them – it already is, in fact:

Alistair Crooke explains, in his gentle and diplomatic way, the significance of the campus protests against the Gazacaust:

Prof. Jeffrey Sachs tries to figure out what the heck the War Party is up to this year:


Margin of Victory

Col. Douglas Macgregor appeared onLondon Real by Brian Rose DA KERNEL sounds off on a range of subjects, including Israel, the collapse of Ukraine, and other topics:


Дед Сварливый Говорит!

Grandpa Grumpuss grumps, grumpily, about Victory Day – the night before it happened:


Polonium

Ania Konieczek interviews a former Fibbie on the coming collapse of Amerikhastan:


Timeo Danaos Et Donna Ferentes…

The good gentlemen of The Duran discuss the political landscape in Russia, following The Putin’s swearing-in ceremony for his fifth term as President of Russia:


Bad Medicine

Dr. John Campbell is not in the least bit amused by Billzebub’s attempts to get mRNA technology into new vaccines:

This is indeed a very scary possibility. The latest investments in not-vaxx technology involve self-assembling mRNA, and that is bloody terrifying.


Dr. Suneel Dhand explains why men have more heart attacks than women:

That, right there, is “male privilege” at work – if women truly want equality, they should want to suffer heart attacks as the same rates as men.


Dr. Vinay Prasad discusses the largest ever study of not-vaxx patients, and the vaccine harms documented therein:

I quoted that exact study in my long article on excess mortality in early March. The authors of that study went out of their way to state that the not-vaxxes are worth the risks, because they saved millions of lives. I call bullshit on that. To me, the not-vaxxes are a humanitarian catastrophe that have killed thousands and possibly maimed tens of thousands, and should never have been allowed.


Warriors of Faith

Tha Dizzle is greatly amused by watching atheists and agnostics tie themselves into rhetorical and philosophical knots over which religion is best:


Dr. Jay Smith from PfanderFilms and Al-Fadi from CIRA International explain how the Koran cannot possibly come from Mecca:


Christian Prince smacks around a Muzzie who tries to pretend that Izzlam is not a pagan religion – it absolutely is, and its origins are thoroughly steeped in paganism:


Sam Shamoun pops a cap on a Muzzie trying to prove Mo’Lester the Paedophile Profit, was actually a prophet:


I have been watching a lot of Fr. Josiah Trenin of late – I have a lot of respect for the Russian Orthodox Church, though I do not agree with it on many points. He has a lot to say, via his PatristicNectarFilms channel, about the challenges confronting the world now:


Manly Men of Manliness

Terrence Popp points out an absolute and unquestionable truth – that hard work beats talent (IF talent doesn’t work – and even then, most of the time, hard work still beats it):


Joker from Better Bachelor notes the sad story of a good man getting absolutely screwed over by a single mother:

Don’t do it, lads. Just don’t. While there ARE good single mothers out there – I’m not stupid enough to say otherwise – the reality is, 98% or more of them are going to be total disasters for you to date, never mind marry.

Those are not good odds. So do not play that game.


Burn Paedowood to the Ground

Midnight’s Edge reports on the collapse in Disney’s share price, following their latest earnings call:


Overlord Dicktor Van Doomcock rubs salt in that wound by talking about the disaster that was Wish:


Gary from Nerdrotic is pleased as punch over the collapse of Hollyweird:


The Critical Drinker watches The Fall Guy, and finds it to be actually pretty good – if a bit stupid:


Reading Too Much Into Things

Your Science is F***ing Weird moment of the week is from The Male Brain, and is all about the merger of two unique life-forms into one:

Biological dinitrogen (N2) fixation is a key metabolic process exclusively performed by prokaryotes, some of which are symbiotic with eukaryotes. Species of the marine haptophyte algae Braarudosphaera bigelowii harbor the N2-fixing endosymbiotic cyanobacteria UCYN-A, which might be evolving organelle-like characteristics. We found that the size ratio between UCYN-A and their hosts is strikingly conserved across sublineages/species, which is consistent with the size relationships of organelles in this symbiosis and other species. Metabolic modeling showed that this size relationship maximizes the coordinated growth rate based on trade-offs between resource acquisition and exchange. Our findings show that the size relationships of N2-fixing endosymbionts and organelles in unicellular eukaryotes are constrained by predictable metabolic underpinnings and that UCYN-A is, in many regards, functioning like a hypothetical N2-fixing organelle (or nitroplast).

The non-nerd version of this explains how an algae and a bacterium fused together into a new life-form:

Primary endosymbiosis happens when one microbial organism engulfs another. It then begins to use the swallowed organisms as an internal organ. The host provides the organism–now called an endosymbiont–several benefits including nutrients, energy, and protection. When it can no longer survive on its own, the engulfed endosymbiont becomes an organ for the host called an organelle.

“It’s very rare that organelles arise from these types of things,” Tyler Coale, a co-author of the Cell study and a postdoctoral scholar at the University of California, Santa Cruz said in a statement. “The first time we think it happened, it gave rise to all complex life.”

Endosymbiosis where the host life form becomes fundamental to another organism’s function has only happened three known times. All of these instances were a major breakthroughs for evolution, since merging with their hosts became fundamental for the endosymbionts very existence.

The first event was roughly 2.2 billion years ago. This is when a single-celled organism called archaea swallowed up a bacterium that eventually became the mitochondria. This specialized organelle is what every biology student learns is the “powerhouse of the cell” and its formation allowed for complex organisms to evolve.

“Everything more complicated than a bacterial cell owes its existence to that event,” said Coale. “A billion years ago or so, it happened again with the chloroplast, and that gave us plants,” Coale said.

This second event occurred when more advanced cells absorbed cyanobacteria. Cyanobacteria can harvest energy from sunlight and they eventually become organelles called chloroplasts that can harvest energy from sunlight. The chloroplasts gave us another core principle of biology–green plants that can make food from the sun.

With this latest endosymbiosis event, it’s possible that the algae is converting nitrogen from the atmosphere into ammonia that it can use for other cellular processes. However, it needs the help of a bacterium.


Your long read of the week is from Patrick Lawrence, who laments the destruction of the once-great American institutions of higher adolt edjoomuhcayshun:

The most startling events of the past few months, approaching a climax as we speak, concern what is now a prevalent effort to destroy America’s colleges and universities as independent institutions of higher learning. It is true, as some have remarked, that the confrontations on American campuses, and may they continue, are not to be taken as the main event. The main event remains the Israeli–U.S. genocide prompting students across the country—and the Western world at this point—to pitch tents and demonstrate in support of the Palestinian cause.

As I type these sentences, the early Tuesday bulletins arrive, reporting that the Israelis have shut the two crossings in southern Gaza, Rafah and Kerem Shalom, that serve as lifelines for Palestinians in need of aid and medical treatment. It does not get more barbaric, except that, in the Israeli case, it consistently does.

But with these developments bitterly in mind, we should recognize the meaning and gravity of the vicious responses—state and private—to the honorable displays of principle, integrity, and clear thinking we witness on American university campuses. In any imperium’s late phase, all institutions are required to serve the state and the reigning ideology. This is a structural reality, an historical imperative, that is rarely remarked upon but easily identified nonetheless. We have already witnessed this coerced enlistment in the cases of corporate media, previously independent courts, nongovernmental organizations, and all manner of cultural institutions—book publishers, libraries, museums, the Hollywood studios. Now it is the turn of the colleges and universities.

In this late phase of decline, no one or no entity is permitted to stand beyond the fence posts in the name of independent thought or free speech. The special gravity of this when tertiary education is the target cannot be overstated. Destroy colleges and universities as sanctuaries of uncircumscribed, purposefully exploratory thought and speech—academic freedom in the common parlance—and you are a good way along to destroying the nation’s intellectual dynamism, and so the nation’s future.

Here is an exceptionally well-crafted segment of the Al Jazeera program called Listening Post, broadcast over the weekend under the headline, “The problem with the coverage of the U.S. campus protests.” Look at the footage, especially of the police—local police departments, state police, highway patrol units, campus police. If there is a term for this other than state repression, I cannot think of it.

Listen to the commentary. It is clear, analytic, grounded in reality, professional, dispassionate, more or less spotlessly objective. It is near to impossible to find footage of campus events this bold, this balanced, this undoctored, and it is absolutely impossible to find analysis and commentary of this insight and honesty in American media.

On American screens we instead see this presentation—the ne plus ultra in television coverage last week—in a segment of Inside Politics, Dana Bash’s CNN program. Let me go back to that list of attributes just mentioned. This piece is neither clear nor analytic nor grounded in reality nor professional nor dispassionate, and it does not even pretend to objectivity. It is one coerced institution that has succumbed to the state and its ideology doing its bit to help coerce another into submission. Nothing more.

“We start with destruction, violence and hate on college campuses across the country,” Bash begins. After a couple of minutes of paranoia-pumping, this, in Bash’s italicized delivery: “Protesting the way the Israeli government, the Israeli prime minister, is prosecuting the retaliatory war against Hamas is one thing. Making Jewish students feel unsafe at their own schools is unacceptable, and it is happening way too much right now.”

Then a video clip of a Jewish UCLA student, who, it is perfectly obvious, does not feel the slightest unsafe, as he tries to argue his way past a picket line to his class. Then Bash again: “What you just saw is 2024 in Los Angeles, harkening back to the 1930s in Europe. And I do not say that lightly.”

Jiminy Cricket.


Linkage is good for you:

And some more from Dawn Pine:


MUH RUSHIAN KAHLOOOOOOOZHUN!!!

The Neo-Tsar was sworn in last week for his fifth term as President:

He followed up a short, simple, solid speech at his inauguration, with another short, simple, solid speech at the May 9 Victory Day parade:

He, like his country, is in a confident and relaxed mood. The war has not really touched the core of Russian society – yet the WHOLE of Russia is absolutely solidly behind him and believes in the cause of the SMO. The Russians are certain of the righteousness of their cause – I know, I went there three times in the past year. And they are not going to let anyone or anything stop them from achieving their goals.

This is not a country the West can defeat. Instead, it is Russia that is defeating the entire collective West.


For those wondering what life in Russia is like after MUH SANKSHUNS WERKIN’ REEL GUDDER ‘N’ SHIET!!!11!!!!!!, here is a video from a charming and well-spoken young redhead on her channel, Eli from Russia, explaining that things are just fine internally:

I can personally confirm every single thing she says – I saw every one of the things she did, over the past year. I have been to Russia 3 times, and I can confirm that life is completely normal inside the country.

She talks about the difficulties of working with foreign companies and clients as a Russian. I can confirm things from the other side – coming INTO Russia is a colossal pain in the ass in many ways. But, you can overcome all of it, with a little spit and polish.https://www.instagram.com/p/CG6YHW3gv4-/


HALO Nation

Slayergod Remy aka MintBlitz does his thing while ranting about the sheer blithering idiocy of a possible “reboot” of HALO:

If Microsoft and 343i are truly that stupid, then we might as well just abandon the universe entirely and move on to better things.


BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!!!

Scholar’s Lore talks Tyranids – specifically, Tyranids that hunt daemons:


Oh No! Anyway…

Wazzocks gonna wazzock:


Comedy Hour


Meme Warfare

As always, we begin with the dankest of memes from Dawn Pine:

Makes sense. DON’T BE A CRAZY FAN.

[This is why I watch UFC clips. On TEH YOOTOOBZ, rather than live. – Didact]

Had that with my Ex-wife. Can relate.
AS IF it was true
Great advice
Answers:
1. You should save
2. Probably you will
3. The world will exist

[Also, humans have only two hands, but you cannot really expect people these days to MAFF – Didact]

Good strategy
There are 3 types of lies: Lies, damned lies, and statistics.
Dude always has a point

[To put it in Orkish: “AN’ DAT’S DA ZOGGIN’ TROOF RIGHT DERE MATEY!!!” – Didact]

Done that. Not that great.
They forgot “Racist”
Bring her a glass of water
“If the sun be risen upon him, there shall be blood shed for him; for he should make full restitution; if he have nothing, then he shall be sold for his theft.” (Exodus 22:3). 
Non-modern slaves were also slaves due to debt
Good movie
DIAGRAMS?
Never thought about it
BURN!
I think you already have that, it’s called the IRS
True that
Say what now????
Disagree, but everyone is entitled to their opinion (as stuipd as it is)
One way to solve it
Introverts

[CAN. CONFIRM. – Didact]

Also introverts

And now, as LRFotS RobertW likes to say:

Or, really, any modern music that isn’t metal
So what if you are an anti-social anti-socialist?
101 Dalmatians – Netflix adaptation
That is considerably more civilised than my actual reaction
Laughed so hard I nearly spat my tea all over the monitor

Animal Planet

Your pawsitivity moment of the week:

And your animals are absolute DICKS moment of the week, too:


REPS FOR JESUS!!!

Gym beast props this week go to Shane Hunt:

Dude moves 848lbs like it’s nothing. With hook grip. AND then he pauses it at the top.

That is BEAST MODE, right there.


Ass-Kicking of the Eight Limbs

Tawanchai is a straight-up ASSASSIN.


They See Me Rollin’…


Palate Cleansers

Knives out

Axe Me About Odin

Drumlines

I have absolutely no idea why LARZZZZ holds such a place of high esteem among metalheads. His drumming was NEVER anything special – if you listen to “Dyers Eve”, for instance, LARZZZZ cannot hold time. At all.

Granted, Master of Puppets is a great album, but it was mostly great because of the dearly departed Cliff Burton. And if you listen to the contemporaneous MEGADETH album, Peace Sells… But Who’s Buying?, the drumming Gar Samuelson came up with for that album is just UNBELIEVABLE.

MOAR DAKKA!!!

Mighty Wings

Jump-Starts

Gingervitis Injections


Livin’ in the Land of the Metal Gods

Also Einstein: “I fear that someday people will post my pic on the Internet with bogus made-up quotations in Comic Sans font”

Rock Out With Your Glock Out


Thot Shot

Finally, here is your Instathot to get the week off to the correct kind of start. This is Nora Ventriglia, age 22-ish, from Maasmechelen, Belgium – a country which, as we all know, exists solely to act as a useful patch of ground for Germany and Britain to sort out their differences. She is a really-for-real legitimate pageant model, studying law in Leuven, and enjoys playing instruments and singing for fun.

Too bad she has tattoos – really stupid ones, too. Also, she has an EPIC case of RBF. And she goes WAY too heavy on the makeup. All of those are disqualifying factors for the Friday roster – otherwise, she might qualify.

OK, that’s all for today, back to work now, lads.

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5 Comments

  1. JohnC911

    It is funny that Microsoft went free upgrade during the Windows 10 to get people from windows 7 and 8 to switch. Always weird to me why they did that. Because back in the day you had to buy the product ie the next window if you wanted to upgrade. I think most people did back then if their PC could handle it, in part because it offered new improvements to the previous OS. I think around Windows Vista that stop, where most people prefer XP. Windows 7 was going back to what made XP so great and offering a 64 bit version (Which Vista was made for). Window 8 was a complete trash and the sales numbers were low. I remember Microsoft blaming PC makers at the time for not selling it to consumers. (https://www.theregister.com/2013/01/24/windows_8_blame_game) (https://news.softpedia.com/news/Windows-8-Already-Disappointing-Microsoft-Blames-PC-Makers-307706.shtml).
    In fact Sony stop making laptops around this time, I think they lost a lot of money during Windows 8. No one wanted it. So when Windows 10 came a lot of people upgraded from 8, but upgrades have many problems. Often hardware issues, especially on Laptops. Windows 11 looks back compare to 10, why would I upgrade?

    Reply
    • MrUNIVAC

      Consumers rejected Vista because it ran like crap on the average PC of the day and annoyed users with the aggressive UAC, which jockeys with Clippy and forced Win 8 Metro for the most annoying and useless Microsoft feature.

      7 is Vista on hardware it can handle and with the most annoying stuff toned down.

      8 was Microsoft’s desperate and failed attempt to stay relevant in mobile by forcing the entire computing ecosystem to adopt their mobile OS (h/t to Charlie Demerjian). It not only tanked Windows but sales of PCs across the board.

      Windows 10 was “free” because Microsoft began aggressively tracking everything you do with it to both serve ads and sell that data. The age-old wisdom of “if the product is free, then YOU are the product” applies. I resisted for an incredibly long time, but I use my PC so infrequently these days that I don’t care anymore (plus I’ve disabled a lot of the most egregious stuff through registry hacks).

      Windows is like the Star Trek movies – odd releases suck, even releases are good:

      1.0/2.0 – sucked
      3.0 – pretty good
      95 – sucked
      98 – pretty good
      ME – sucked
      NT/2000/XP – pretty good
      Vista – sucked
      7 – pretty good
      8 – sucked
      10 – pretty good except for the built-in spyware
      11 – ?

      Reply
      • JohnC911

        True. With the way Microsoft is going I would be surprise if not another company develops a good OS. Honestly it would be the best thing for Windows to have competition, Apple does not count since it is so different.

        Maybe these trade wars might produce a need

        Reply
    • MrUNIVAC

      Also, a nerd joke:

      Q: What do a PC and an air conditioner have in common?
      A: Both of them stop working when you open windows.

      Reply
  2. Robert W

    Two notable and quite good videos today:

    Boring Jobs are better jobs is correct. Moar glamor = more stress
    Popp telling the 15 year old kid to get his butt moving and make something of himself, complete with kickboxing redemption story, it’s the best Popp video I’ve watched ever.

    Reply

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