“We are Forerunners. Guardians of all that exists. The roots of the Galaxy have grown deep under our careful tending. Where there is life, the wisdom of our countless generations has saturated the soil. Our strength is a luminous sun, towards which all intelligence blossoms… And the impervious shelter, beneath which it has prospered.”

Monday morning helljumping

by | Apr 29, 2024 | Mondays | 0 comments

Well, it’s Monday again, and if I can somehow write that without sounding despondent and bored at the same time, then that alone will be a minor victory for the day. Days like today are just a reminder as to why weekends are so great, and so important.

Of course, if you are anything like me, one of those two days on the weekend involves doing absolutely SOD ALL (along with playing HALO, which I do not count as work), and the other is… well, basically the same as any other workday, really.

Regardless, let’s get the Monday off to a suitably stupid start, with the Great Mondaydact Browser Killer.

This week’s feature is all about Helldivers – the game franchise that HALO, in many ways, SHOULD HAVE BECOME, if only Microsoft hadn’t completely cocked up everything that Bungie did with HALO 3 ODST, and made a complete pig’s breakfast out of the lore. (Asshats…)

From everything I have heard, Helldivers – 1 and 2 – is HELLA FUN, not least because it preserves the original cooperative elements that made HALO: Combat Evolved such a legendary game to begin with:

I have to admit, it does look quite fun – sort of like the best bits of Starship Troopers (the movie, not the book) scrambled in with a bit of WARHAMMER 40,000, Gears of War, and HALO:

Of course, we need to remind ourselves why Microsoft was so dumb as to fail to make a game like that, out of what it originally had:

And some mood music to go with it:

Man… remember when gaming used to be FUN?!?!?!

The Mighty God-Emperor

His Most Illustrious, Noble, August, Benevolent, and Legendary Celestial Majesty, the God-Emperor of Mankind, Donaldus Triumphus Magnus Astra, the First of His Name, the Lion of Midnight, may the Lord bless him and preserve him, spoke to his followers from outside the kangaroo court currently trying him for a lot of nonsense:

Of course, the part the Trumpasaur left out, is that he is IN this pickle, precisely BECAUSE he did not smash the Deep State when he was in office, and instead allowed himself to be captured and subordinated by the neoclowns.

#BasedTucker is Based

Dawn of Battle

The Male Brain has the usual bevy of good stuff for us today. We start with one from PsycHacks – which is rapidly becoming one of my must-watch channels – about how understanding someone’s problem, does not actually solve the problem:

Here is a new channel called MindFKD w/ Patrick James – interesting name there – about the Great Pyramids of Giza:

Been there. Done that. HAD the T-shirt, but it got YEETED after a few years, because Egyptian cotton isn’t quite as high-quality as it’s supposed to be.

How Money Works attempts to explain a serious and severe economic paradox:

Matrix Explained takes on Agent Smith:

Mind-Expanding Drugs

Kurzgesagt – in a Nutshell discusses the “Fermi Paradox”, and notes the “Dark Forest” potential solution to it:

Personally, I am not convinced about the existence of alien civilisations that can easily break the laws of physics. I consider most UFO/UAP sightings to be, essentially, physical manifestations of spiritual beings – dangerous ones, very powerful ones, and beings that we REALLY shouldn’t be messing with or pissing off.

Death Smiles At Us All…

Poli-Ticking Off

Mark Dice is unamused by the Littlest Chickenshit’s attempts to take down #BasedTucker:

Li’l Benny Shapiru is gate-keeping harder than ever, simply because people can see for themselves what the Tribe is doing nowadays, and they don’t like it.

The very-thoroughly-married couple at Redacted are flabbergasted by Poland’s attempts to make “Dumb Polack” jokes as tragically un-ironic as possible:

Lord Razor of the Fist Clan steps away from the Rant-a-Phone for a moment, to review the latest JUDAS PRIEST album:

Rulings from the Bench

Judge Nap is back and busier than ever. We start with Col. Douglas Macgregor telling it like it is about 404:

Col. Larry Wilkerson – former Chief-of-Staff for none other than the late Gen. Colin Powell – points out the nature of the Israeli government’s influence over American policy:

LTC Tony Shaffer does some basic MAFF about the latest Ukraine embezzlement package – while evidently using a pretty shitty mic – and comes to a simple conclusion:

Maj. Scott Ritter likewise is not impressed by the latest attempts to flog a dead horse in Ukraine:

Capt. Matthew Hoh and Ray McGovern sub in for Larry Johnson on the weekly intel panel:

Alistair Crooke is not sanguine about the prospects of Zionism:

Larry Johnson gives a barn-burner of a speech at the United Abominations about the Nord Stream bombings:

Prof. Jeffrey Sachs gives an old-school liberal’s view of the military-industrial complex’s war machine, churning out death around the world:

Prof. John Mearsheimer gets into the root causes of the 404 War:

Дед Сварливый Говорит!

Grandpa Grumpuss grumps, grumpily, about the hilarity of watching the West trying to figure out “strategery”, and failing miserably:


Ania Konieczek talks to Larry Johnson and Pepe Escobar:

Among other topics, Pepe talks about that really weird news item which came up, in which his sources reported the Russians shot down an Israeli F-35I somewhere over Syria, carrying a nuclear gravity bomb. That is an extremely serious matter.

I have no doubt that Mr. Escobar simply reported faithfully what his own sources told him, and I do not question either his integrity or his analytical abilities. I DO, however, question the story, and am sceptical such a thing happened, for the reasons that Mr. Johnson outlines.

Timeo Danaos Et Donna Ferentes…

The good gentlemen of The Duran did a long live-stream in which they talked about DA NOOSE, and did a very good job, too:

The Bald Truth

Brian Berletic of The New Atlas analyses the latest aid boondoggle given the the Ukies by the Congresscritters, and points out that it really is not much to write home about:

Bad Medicine

Dr. John Campbell talks about the latest idiotic wizard’s new wheeze coming out of the medical industry:

Dr. Suneel Dhand cannot contain his frustration at the way Fraudci just keeps getting away with shit that would have ANYONE ELSE on trial for mass murder at this point:

Warriors of Faith

Tha Dizzle explains – at exhaustive, and frankly somewhat irritating – length, the stupidity of Izzlamist “arguments” about the Trinity:

The funniest part is, Muzzies actually have their own Trinity in the Koran. They just cannot bring themselves to admit it. And their entire concept of Tawhid (“oneness”) is in fact an evolution over time, which their own scholars admit. It isn’t even a very coherent concept, either.

Dr. Jay Smith from PfanderFilms and Al-Fadi from CIRA International point out the origins of the Koran as a made-up, compiled, and heavily redacted book:

Christian Prince has a very great deal of fun smacking Muzzies around with their own ridiculous books:

Sam Shamoun absolutely manhandles Muzzies when it comes to errors in their own supposedly “perfect” revelation:

Seriously. It’s hilarious. Izzlam’s own scholars admit to these huge mistakes of grammar, spelling, and fact in the Koran, yet Muzzies persist in their flatly delusional beliefs about the so-called “perfect preservation” of their texts.

Sam also simply obliterates a Muslimah on supposed “problems” in the Bible:

Roots of Orthodoxy posts up a great interview with Fr. Josiah Trenham about the attack on marriage and the assault on the Christian faith:

Manly Men of Manliness

Terrence Popp laughs his arse off at angry WAMMENZES telling him he is a horrible man:

Joker from Better Bachelor points out that the world’s elites are finally realising they might have gone just a wee bit too far:

Man Talk continues the sterling work of poasting women tracking their own epic Ls:

Burn Paedowood to the Ground

Midnight’s Edge explains how the House of the Devil Mouse killed its own cash cow:

Overlord Dicktor Van Doomcock goes full Qtard:

Gary from Nerdrotic watched Rebel Moon Part 2, so the rest of us never have to:

The Critical Drinker watches the latest Henry Cavill film, and is mildly impressed:

Reading Too Much Into Things

Your Science is F***ing Weird moment of the week is about the infamous “Three-Body Problem”, and it’s not just because I finished reading the book a couple of weeks ago:

Just so you understand why this is so difficult, take a look at the following simulation:

Your long read of the week is a piece from Big Serge about manoeuvre warfare and attrition:

The American military establishment spent the post-Vietnam decades thinking intensely about how to fight a major ground war, particularly in Europe, under peculiar cold war conditions. The fruits of this American reinvention were a reinvigorated training regimen, an array of new weapons systems and vehicles, and a totalizing commitment to agile command and control, strategic use of deep fires, and mobile operations.

Fortunately, the wargaming of the cold war remained an intellectual exercise only, and there was never occasion to test American doctrines and systems against massed Warsaw Pact tank armies. The Fulda Gap remained at peace, and Mikhail Gorbachev opted to unravel the Soviet Union with a series of self destructive political reforms. The bipolar world collapsed, as if spontaneously, into a temporary moment of unipolarity and utter American hegemony, and the American military was left holding an enormous hammer with nothing to smash.

Hence, the Gulf War – an unrivaled display of profligate military supremacy. America’s Desert Storm stands at the pinnacle of the military art; a surgical, almost surreal dismantling of the adversary. America and her coalition axillaries destroyed, in the course of only a few weeks, the 4th largest army in the world, shattering a million man Iraqi army at the cost of fewer than 300 dead among the entire coalition, and a mere 148 Americans. The “kill ratios” were astonishing: something on the order of 70-1 in personnel and 80-1 in armored vehicles. In a sense, it appeared that the United States had “solved” conventional war, winning total victories at near-zero cost.

In hindsight, of course, it was easy to point out all manner of deficiencies in the Iraqi military which betrayed it to be a vast, but overmatched force. Iraqi command and control, morale, training, integration of fires, field grade command, and small unit tactics were exposed as utterly inadequate, and American forces enjoyed critical technological advantages, such as its airborne electronic warfare and ISR platforms, precision guided munitions, and the superlative fire control system on the M1 Abrams tank, which allowed American tankers to trade at exorbitant ratios when dicing it up with Iraqi armor.

It is probably fair to say that American and coalition forces enjoyed decadent advantages in virtually every dimension of combat effectiveness, including the technological, the institutional, and the human. All that being said, however, the Coalition campaign was extremely well organized, and this fact greatly augmented the inherent advantage in combat effectiveness. The situation can be somewhat compared to the German conquest of Poland in 1939 – Germany had insuperable military advantages, but a well designed maneuver scheme allowed the Wehrmacht to leverage the biggest and most overwhelming victory possible.

The Gulf War saw two distinct phases: a strategic air campaign (the first modern air campaign at scale against an enemy with an integrated air defense) and a maneuver campaign. We can consider the characteristics of each in turn.

The coalition Strategic Air Campaign (with over 90% of the sorties provided by American aviation) had a powerful shaping effect, in that it degraded and paralyzed Iraqi capabilities at both the strategic and operational level. Strategic targets included power generation, road and rail infrastructure, government offices in Baghdad, and industrial facilities – closer to the battlefield, critical targets like air defense, command and control posts, strike systems (particularly SCUD missile launchers), and communications were hunted.

Linkage is good for you:

And some more from Dawn Pine:


The Neo-Tsar spoke recently at a forum of Russian entrepreneurs and businesses, and is evidently supremely unconcerned about MUH SANKSHUNS!!!:

HALO Nation

Slayergod Remy aka MintBlitz talks about the future of HALO Infinite:


Scholar’s Lore delves into the founding of the Imperial Guard, aka Astra Militarum, aka “cannon fodder who soak up 95% casualties before the Space Marines drop in and slaughter everyone and everything, INCLUDING THE REMAINING GUARDSMEN, and then some jumped-up Inquisitor condemns the place to EXTERMINATUS”:

Oh No! Anyway…

Wazzocks gonna wazzock:

Comedy Hour

Meme Warfare

As always, we start with a heaping helping of meme-y goodness from Dawn Pine:

Good point. The answer is that once someone tastes money they can’t get enough of it.
Bring popcorn. We are waiting for the movie to unfold
Does our host care to comment? (As I drink tea)

[Yep. I’ve had those kinds of mornings. This is why I do not joke about inflicting murder and mayhem on anyone who gets between me and my morning coffee. Though I also drink at least 2 cups of tea a day. – Didact]

Can’t find it on my dryer
Triple face palm
Not impressed. Netanyahu has been under investigation since 1997 (on and off). And none of his accusers died.
Not everything. Mostly shout and get angry and blame someone else.
Good to know. NOW – let’s all use it properly.
Waiting for the AI to do my job for me
Probably more
Sounds about right
Can confirm
WAR is big business

One more on that topic of scientists publishing loads of junk:

And now, as LRFotS RobertW would say:

Admittedly, there is a missing head in the image somewhere, so it’s not exactly kosher…

Animal Planet

Your aminules are adorkable moment of the week:

And also your animals are absolute DICKS moment of the week, to balance things out:


Gym beast props this week go to a surprising character – Ernie Hudson, whom you might remember from Ghostbusters, and who looks MUCH younger than his 78 years:

Ass-Kicking of the Eight Limbs

They See Me Rollin’…

Palate Cleansers

Knives Out

Guitar Heroics



Mighty Wings


Gingervitis Injections

Feet First Into Hell!!!

Livin’ in the Land of the Metal Gods

Also Einstein: “I fear that someday people will post my pic on the Internet with bogus made-up quotations in Comic Sans font”

Their new album is out, and it is AMAZEBALLS.

I am REALLY looking forward to the upcoming UtA album

Rock Out With Your Glock Out

Thot Shots

Right, here is your Instathot to get the week off to a suitably inflated start. This here is Tatyana Dobrikova(Татьяна Добрикова), age 22 from Mordor – I mean, Russia – and if she isn’t at least 30% plastic, then my eyes must be failing. She lives in Dubai and the FUSA, and does… well, whatever a Barbie doll does, I suppose.

OK, that’s it, schlep back off to work now.

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