“We are Forerunners. Guardians of all that exists. The roots of the Galaxy have grown deep under our careful tending. Where there is life, the wisdom of our countless generations has saturated the soil. Our strength is a luminous sun, towards which all intelligence blossoms… And the impervious shelter, beneath which it has prospered.”

Friday T&A: Firestarter Edition

by | Mar 17, 2023 | fat girl jihad | 2 comments

Just a quick one from me today, lads, as it is late and I am absolutely knackered. Yesterday was leg day, and it was unusually difficult – I have no idea why, I finished up my course of antibiotics for what turned out to be a truly hideous case of strep throat on Saturday, and I’ve been more or less normal since then. And today, I went skiing. Let’s just say I will DEFINITELY be feeling the combined effects in the morning.

It occurred to me recently that we have not featured a ginger snap around here for a while, and this undoubtedly is something of a problem for the numerous gingervitis sufferers among my readership. Seeing as it is St. Patrick’s Day, as well, this seems as good an excuse as any to give the people what they want.

After all, St. Paddy’s Day is a fake holiday designed to increase sawdust and beer sales – the former being required to soak up the sweat and vomit induced by the latter – and is an opportunity for every drunken yobbo to pretend to be Irish. It is also a great opportunity for thots to dress up in green and get their… uh… assets out, wearing shirts that say, “Kiss Me, I’m Irish”.

The problem is, it is difficult to tell whether some of them actually ARE Oirish or not. American Irish types speak American, just like the rest of the heathen Yankee rebels, so you cannot tell on the basis of language alone. Looking at their hair doesn’t really help either – plenty of women can dye their hair red these days, and with White women, it’s often difficult to tell the difference.

The gingervitis sufferers among my readership tell me the most reliable way to tell a true redhead, is to check for freckles. That is probably true. But, unfortunately, as I get older, my eyesight is not quite what it used to be, so I assume this lady is a true redhead. But without, ahem, closer examination, it is impossible to tell whether she is in fact a natural ginger, therefore soulless.

This week’s lovely lady is Cristina Carmella, age 23 from Noo Joisey, USSA, who does stuff on something called “TikTok”, which is apparently now banned in the US goobermint (and the Limey one, for that matter). As I understand it, this platform involves doing and saying really stupid things to dance music for 30 seconds or less, but I cannot claim to be “up” on the latest technologies.

She claims to be a genuine ginger – again, I leave it to my dedicated readership to figure that out. In the meantime, I’m off – “peace, out”, as the kids say. Happy Friday, all, and try not to let the fake holiday of St. Patrick’s Day go to your head.

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2 Comments

  1. furor kek tonicus ( Heterophobes hate me )

    i’m not going to say it’s impossible to dye your eyebrows, but most women don’t.
    .
    so the red eyebrows are a pretty good indication.
    .
    and the pale skin. natural red heads don’t tan well and typically go from lily white to glowing crispy peeling red in about 5 seconds without sun tan lotion on.

    Reply
    • Didact

      I am reliably informed the best way of making sure is to check whether… uh… how does one put this properly… “the carpet and curtains match”. That, however, is a very private matter, so we shall leave it there.

      Reply

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