In this day and age of constant stimulation, the ability to enjoy one’s own company is a great gift indeed. Most people would not consider it to be so, because most people are afraid to spend time by themselves. Yet, for those of us who are naturally very introverted, time spent alone is not only useful, it is VITAL to our sense of self and for our own mental health.
This gift comes much more naturally to men than it does to women, for the very simple reason that men are and always have been the disposable sex. Since, by definition, society does not, strictly speaking, need all men to survive and preserve itself, there will always be a certain percentage of menfolk who find the solitary existence to be an easy path to take.
Women find this much harder. Being vitally necessary to the continuation and survival of society, they are social creatures that require immense amounts of companionship and stimulation. Few women can truly tolerate being deep introverts, in the way that men can. Companionship, especially of the male kind, is essential to them – it keeps their natural craziness at bay and balances out their innate need to care for someone or something.
Quite often, the older, wealthier, and more experienced a man becomes in the ways of the world, the less he needs to engage with it. Everyone’s favourite bald red-piller, Joker from Better Bachelor, explains this phenomenon by looking at a couple of famous men who quite happily spend most of their time alone:
There is indeed much to be said for spending lots of time alone. It lets a man think, work on his own time and schedule, socialise as and when he feels like it, and pursue his own interests. The reality is that spending time around most people is a waste of that time, because, as Our Beloved and Dreaded Supreme Dark Lord (PBUH) Voxemort the Most Malevolent and Terrible, always reminds us, Most People Are Idiots.
Have a care, though. There are limits to solitude, and failing to observe them will get you in trouble. Tom Hardy does not practice BJJ alone – he goes to a dojo to train and pit himself against other men. This is plenty of interaction for most deeply introverted men – you get a chance to test yourself against others. compete, sharpen your skills, and learn, but after it is all done, you can go home and be by yourself again.
In my case, these days, I work from home most of the time, and I am VERY happy to do so. Indeed, I have done the whole “remote working” thing for more than 4 years, in various capacities. And I have to say, I strongly prefer it over working in an office every single day. I don’t waste time commuting, I don’t have to listen to the inanities of my coworkers talking about nonsense, I can work when I want, and I can listen to and watch whatever YouTube videos or read whatever material I want. I don’t have to worry about some asshole constantly looking over my shoulder.
There are downsides to this way of life, to be sure. The lack of social interaction does make coordination and teamwork harder. You do lose quite a lot by way of non-verbal communication and body language cues when working with people through MS Teams or Zoom. But all of that can be managed – I have done it, mostly successfully, through a long series of group projects. An occasional visit to the office is plenty good enough for me. I get to show my face and remind my coworkers that I exist, and then I get to go out and go for a walk and do what I want to do. Everybody wins.
If you are a young, introverted man, and you find yourself wondering if you are missing out on things because you are not part of the “in” crowd, then do not be overly concerned. As long as you have plenty of interests to keep yourself occupied, and as long as you devote yourself to the pursuit of perfection in whatever field you choose as your area of specialisation, then you do not have too much to worry about.
There are some caveats to this. If you spend your entire waking existence in a basement playing video games, then do not expect to be taken seriously by the rest of society. You have very little of value to offer to the broad mainstream. Most women will be unimpressed by you and uninterested in your constant Gamma-sperging. You will be physically weak and mentally unbalanced, because your interests only stretch in one direction.
But, if you spend a busy day writing computer code or solving complex business problems while working remotely, and then go out for a walk in the evening and then a gym session or martial arts training, and ride a motorcycle or learn a musical instrument or create works of real art in your free time…
Then you will have few problems in life.
The reason why is simple. You are working toward your own goals and ends. You live in a way that suits you, yet still contributes value back to the society you live in. And in the process, you become genuinely interesting.
My final warning here is to make sure that you live a God-centred life. Again, if you spend your days doing things just for dopamine rushes or creating TikTok videos for teh lulz and the “likes”, then you are not really living. There is no actual purpose to your existence.
But, if you choose to live in obedience to the will of God, in fear and reverence of Him, and you actively ask the Father for His guidance and wisdom to help you in your journey…
Then you will never live one more day of your life without purpose and direction.
And that is precisely the point of life – to serve a Purpose.
Your task is to figure out what that Purpose is. And if you have to serve it alone, then that is not necessarily any bad thing.
1 Comment
I agree and disagree. Agree that man needs a purpose, disagree that he can do it alone. We were made to be in relationship to each other. How are we supposed to have a relationship with God if we cannot manage a relationship with the creatures He created in His image? Can’t happen. Find some men you can work with, or make part of your mission to help others. But you won’t get to Heaven from your basement.
To your other point, men and women are becoming polarized and as always, men are handling it better. Here’s a good summary of what has happened and what to expect in the future. Enjoy plumbing while it lasts.
https://brighteyes.substack.com/p/the-fuck-rate-is-about-to-implode