“We are Forerunners. Guardians of all that exists. The roots of the Galaxy have grown deep under our careful tending. Where there is life, the wisdom of our countless generations has saturated the soil. Our strength is a luminous sun, towards which all intelligence blossoms… And the impervious shelter, beneath which it has prospered.”

Monday morning drummer jokes

by | Oct 24, 2022 | Mondays | 5 comments

That photo up top really does summarise exactly what most of us look like when we are jolted out of a sound sleep involving a bathtub, two Russian Friday T&A girls, jello, an F-16, and LOTS of bubbles – oh, is that just me, then? – by the alarm clock, flailing wildly for the off switch and swearing a blue streak. Mondays just plain SUCK.

Fortunately, the Great Mondaydact Browser Bomber is here to make it all better. And we start today with something you assuredly did not expect – with some jokes.

Here’s a good one – so this death metal drummer walks into a kid’s party…:

More of the same:

Apparently, there is something in Japan called “mascot metal”, and… well, see for yourself:

Betcha weren’t expecting THAT on a Monday, eh?

This really does sum up the entire reason why we have “Dear Japan, WTF?!?!” as a catchphrase.

Jokes aside, the Japos really do have some amazing musicians. This girl – and she IS just a girl – is an absolute beast on the skins:

As you can see, we’re getting started with the music early today, and Lord knows, we all need it.


#BasedTucker is Based

Oct 17, 2022

Oct 18, 2022

Oct 19, 2022

Oct 20, 2022

Oct 21, 2022


Dawn of Battle

The Male Brain has lots of good stuff lined up for us today. We start with John Stossel‘s take on Odumbass’s Netherflix show:

Let’s see how long it takes before Netherflix forces us all to watch this shit.

Ryan George looks at the Metaverse from the perspective of someone from the future:

JP Sears looks at today’s mentally stunted, emotionally damaged yoot and how they will be when they hit middle age:

The Babylon Bee explains that we’re already in the middle of a zombie apocalypse, but not to worry, they aren’t going to eat you – they’re going to murder you with pronouns and intolerance rants:

This might not work in real life, but holy shit it is terrifying…

Felix Rex offers up his take on the extreme un-personing of Alex Jones and anyone like him:


Poli-ticking Off

Mark Dice is hugely impressed by Kari Lake:

I despise pretty much any politician in the West – I would argue that the best qualification for political office these days is a reflexive rejection of the offer if it is ever made – but Ms Lake’s utter demolition of the presstitutes, and her blatant disrespect for them, is very endearing indeed.


Digging to China unpacks the unravelling of the tech dream in the Middle Kingdom:


The dynamic duo over at Redacted are outraged by the CDC’s insistence on not-vaxxing your kids:


Jackson Hinkle notes that the open spigot of money and weapons flowing to Ukraine, in exchange for equally endless streams of bullshit and GIBSMEDAT!!! attitude from the hohols, might just be coming to an end:


Larry & Paul came up with a perfect advert for the next Prime Moonister of PommieBastardLande:


Дед Сварливый Говорит!

Grandpa Grumpuss grumps, grumpily about Odumbass finally understanding the nature of the very crisis that he helped create:


It’s All Greek To Us

The good gentlemen of The Duran did a phenomenal livestream with the great Robert Barnes:


The Bald Truth

Brian Berletic of The New Atlas examines the progress of russia’s mobilisation and explains why the presstitutes at The New York F***ing Slimes are totally wrong about the nature of the new troops:


Semper Fi!

Maj. Scott Ritter gets really annoyed by some of the amazingly stupid things uttered by Jack Devine on Judge Andrew Napolitano‘s show:


Warrior’s Rage

Col. Douglas Macgregor explains why the hohols are boned in a succinct soundbite:


Righteous Rantery

PJW explains the Deep State coup against Chucky:

Let us be really clear about this:

Chucky was a disaster. She could never be anything else, because she is an uneducated, inexperienced, clueless MORON. She is no more and no less than a product of the British political system, which excels at producing blithering idiots like her. But she was YEETED because she threatened that system’s survival – specifically, because she threatened the stream of money and grift that keeps the system going, if only because she was so blindingly incompetent.

That is why they got rid of her – not because she was democratically elected with a real mandate to oppose the Deep State, but because she was so dumb that she would have attracted the ire of the people toward the Deep State and threatened its survival in the long run.

The problem is that the Deep State thinks only in terms of the here and now, and has a very limited capacity for thinking of second- and third-order consequences.


The inimitable, irrepressible Katie Hopkins speaks for the man (or woman) on the street after the Bride of Chucky got chucked:


The Flying Doctors

Dr. John Campbell is very concerned, and not a little pissed off, about the news that researchers at Boston University have developed a new, super-virulent chimeric strain of the Coof:

I am not entirely convinced of the results of the BU research – as far as I can tell, such things are much harder to make than simple sci-fi storylines would indicate.

But the very fact that researchers are involved in weaponising this shit, is in and of itself outrageous, especially given what the Coof did to us all.


John Anderson, former Deputy Prime Minister of Australia (where EVERYTHING WANTS TO KILL YOU AND EAT YOUR EYEBALLS FOR JUJUBEES – we always have to mention that about ‘Straya) interviewed Dr. Jay Bhattacharya and Dr. Gigi Foster at length about the side effects of the not-vaxx and their safety issues:

Have you noticed how a LOT more videos on TEH YOOTOOBZ are now being permitted to criticise the not-vaxx directly? It used to be that if you said ANYTHING against the HOH-LEE SAH-YENCE, you were YEETED right off the platform faster than you could blink. But now, as the evidence mounts that the not-vaxx programmes globally were easily the greatest crime ever committed against humanity, even (((the people))) behind YouTube can’t hide that truth anymore.


Warriors of Faith

Tha Dizzle has been on a tear of late producing content and information for us about Izzlamists and their weird ways. He sat down recently with Al-Fadi to discuss the strange origins of the Fake Religion of Peace:


Related – Apostate Prophet, the atheist ex-Muslim, isn’t an asshole like a lot of irratheists, which is why he gets along splendidly with Tha Dizzle and managed to collaborate with him and Vocab Malone in this very special episode of Muhammad’s Boom-Boom Room!!!:


Dr. Jay Smith from PfanderFilms invited his friend Mel from Sneaker’s Corner to discuss some startling findings about the origins of the Koran:


Al-Fadi from CIRA International chats with Rob Christian about the inconsistencies and problems of the Koranic conception of God:


Jon McCray from Cross Examined explains a core truth of the God of the Bible:


Manly Men of Manliness

Terrence Popp and his buddy Blake O’Kleiner dissect the disastrous exploits of a supposedly “reformed” sausage-warmer who has slept with no less than seven HUNDRED different dudes, and now claims to have learned from her many, MANY mistakes:


Joker from Better Bachelor is thoroughly unimpressed by the new fitness “standards” in the woke US military:


Burn Paedowood to the Ground

Midnight’s Edge notes that the knives really are out for DEM RANGZ O’ POWAH!!!, even among the whorenalists of the access media:


Overlord Dicktor Van Doomcock reckons that the House of the Devil Mouse is finally beginning to wise up about the extreme damage they have done to their own stable of brands:


Gary from Nerdrotic watched the She-Hulk series and especially the finale, so that you didn’t have to:

The finale is almost certainly the end of the entire series – even the cast has no idea if this pile of shite will be back for another go-round.


Ryan Kinel is impressed by the audience reaction to Black Adam:

I don’t know, and don’t care, what this film is about. I will not watch it. Supposedly it is not particularly woke – other than the fact that Hawkman is now a big Black dude, of course. I’m still not interested. These movies are, for the most part, completely stupid and uninteresting.


The Drinker is thoroughly fed up of DEM RANGZ!!! and makes his feelings clear in thoroughly drunken fashion:

He also has a Kickstarter campaign going for his own project to make great content for his fans, so head on over and take a look to see if it interests you.


Reading Too Much Into Things

Your “Science is F***ING WEIRD” moment of the week is about supervolcanoes:


Your long read of the week is from The Male Brain, and consists of an article from Roosh about some hardcore red-pill truths that come straight from the Bible:

Passions are fleeting, temporary, and capricious. Making life decisions based on your passions and emotional urges is like building a house on sand. If a passionate woman likes you, it is more likely because you please her physically and emotionally in the current moment, not because she has assessed your faith and values for the long term. Passionate secular men, of which I was one, want to be pleased in the moment. They think that every flight of fancy that enters their mind is a worthwhile pursuit that can maximize their happiness. It was my unbridled passion that allowed me to waste two decades of my life, selecting the wrong women continually for bodily pleasure, pride, and masculine ego gratification. I had built my whole life on sand and realized at a late hour what a folly that was.

If you meet a woman you like, and for the next few days you can’t even think straight because your mind is whirring with fantasies about how beautiful she is and how great your future life will be and how many children you will have, you are aflame with passion and emotion. Even adrenaline may be at play if you find it hard to sleep because of thoughts concerning her. This behavior is actually feminine, codified in hundreds of romance novels. We are men, not women, and must check ourselves when we enter “romance novel” mode, of which I have done innumerable times.

It’s safer instead to make a more detached assessment that allows logic to reign so that you can build any future relationship on rock instead of sand. One sign you are proceeding correctly is if you’re patient and take your time to evaluate a woman before even speaking with her. If there is a woman in my church who I’m interested in, I will not immediately strain to talk to her. Instead, I will observe her from a distance, politely ask about her situation to married parishioners or church elders (without fishing for gossip), and then contemplate the matter for days or weeks until I can make a calm assessment of whether it’s even reasonable to have a conversation with her. On the other hand, if I see a new girl in the church and run up to her after the Liturgy with a church pickup line, I’m simply following my passions.

There is a LOT more of that sort of thing, all of it good, in that article. Read the rest, it’s worth the time.


Linkage is good for you:

And some more from Dawn Pine:


MUH RUSHIAN KAHLOOOOOZHUN!!!

The Neo-Tsar appointed a new Head MFIC over the entire Banderastan Theatre, and he certainly lives up to his nickname of “General Armageddon”. He did his first major interview with Russian media recently – who, unlike Western presstitutes, actually do the damn WORK and report on things both good AND bad for the government – and that interview made a very strong positive impression on the Russian public. It’s not hard to see why:


Those Who Fail To Learn From History…

History lessons of the week:


Your Great Man of the Week is the legendary lawgiver Hammurabi, who, before God got up off His cloud and gave us all the true Law, took a decent (if not particularly clever) stab at creating one of his own:

To understand just how enlightened and brilliant the Law of God really is, just compare what the Hammurabic Code says about killing, with what the Torah says about the same thing:


HALO Nation

Devarture puts together a hilarious video showing what actually goes on in the Covenant when planning attacks on those damned HOOMANS:

And now let’s watch slayergod Remy aka Mint Blitz do his thing while unpacking the latest developments coming out of 343i:


Learning at the Master’s Feet

Nerd of the Rings unpacks the Istari:


Bring on the Grimdark

The Remembrancer, uh, remembrances the great Primarch Sanguinius of the Blood Angels chapter:


That’s Not Gone Well…

Wazzocks gonna wazzock:


Kitchen Nightmares with the Angry Scot:


Comedy hour, with an especially British touch this week:

This next one is just epic – the first 5 minutes is literally just a documentary for the entire current mess that the Limeys have landed themselves into:


Meme Warfare

Let’s start with an actual meme compilation:

Onward:

At this point, a dyslexic MONKEY would be a better candidate for PM than literally anyone else
It’s like having Ozzy Osbourne for President, but much less funny
Y’all remember back when we had a Slovenian supermodel in the White House? Good times, boys…
WHOA!!! Festerman really is an extra from The Addams Family!!!
AAAARRRRGH! MY EYES!!!
They’re not counting all of the Bitch’s victims in Libya, Syria, Yemen, etc etc etc

Headlines of the week indicate that Floriduh Man wants to be as transparent as possible, even when committing crimes:

Your “Rise of the Machines” moment of the week:

Your “Perfect Excuse” moment of the week:

Your “Literally Everything is Racist” moment of the week:

Your “Germans are a Bunch of Whiny Annoying Pussies” moment of the week:

Your “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” moment of the week:

OUCH!
I actually like Excel – but I have to admit, this is spot-on
Got my vote!
MY EYES!!! AGAIN!!!!!
Some people have just too much time on their hands
Well, yes, but you have to make a lot of extra effort to get it, and it actually CAN kill you

Animal Planet

Your aminules are adorkable moment of the week:

And also your animals are absolute DICKS moment of the week, to balance things out:

And finally, your “Meanwhile, in Russia” moment of the week:


The Lords of Steel

Gym beast props this week go to Shane Hunt:

804lb with hook grip… RESPECT.


Ass-Kicking of the Eight Limbs

Sittichai went full-on Super Saiyan in his fight with Mohammed Boutasaa recently:


They See Me Rollin’…

Islam Makhachev really put on a masterclass against Charles Oliveira over the weekend:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NvWEyb8t6xY

Say what you will about the Dagestanis, but they are hardass, tough, skilled, serious fighters:


Palate Cleansers

Put on the whole armour of God, boys – it’s time to go Crusading:

Let’s have a bit of bagpipe music:

Yeahhhh… let’s just say it’s an acquired taste.

Who here wants to watch videos of a cute chick skipping rope? Yes, you read that correctly:


Livin’ in the Land of the Metal Gods

Also Einstein: “I fear that someday people will post my pic on the Internet with bogus made-up quotations in Comic Sans font”

Rock Out With Your Glock Out

Wow!!! Nice bullpup!

Hot Totty

And finally, after all of those heady shots, here’s your Instathot chaser. This here is Tatyana Morozova (Татьяна Морозова), from (I think) Minsk, Belarus, of indeterminate age but probably in her early thirties. I have no idea who she is, what she does, or what her total plastic content is (I’m guessing it is rather higher than zero percent), but she looks nice in a bikini, so she’s got that going for her.

I know a woman living in Voronezh who looks a bit like this. I assure you, though, it’s not the same person.

OK, that’s it, back to work, drink lots of fluids and try to avoid looking too hungover when the boss walks past.

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5 Comments

  1. Dire Badger

    I love Ozzie. He frequently says and does things that are just plain stupid, mangled, or utterly incomprehensible.
    And then someone tells him to shut up and he does for a while.
    Too Bad Sharon never learned that lesson.

    Reply
  2. Ned3

    Just so you know: The drummer didn’t lock himself in the van, the bassist locked him in. (please get this right in the future; we drummers have been suffering for too long.)

    Reply
  3. Robert W

    Links:
    Ignoring compound interest to spend more money while you are young is unbelievably dumb. Many of Taleb’s Intelectual Yet Idiot types will use it to grabble away their earnings.

    Driving a car into an elevator shaft is a special kind of dumb. The kind that needs to be disclosed on first dates and job interviews.

    Disappearing testosterone, by 1% a year, for decades, is dramatically underappreciated. No wonder we stand on the shoulders of giants, for we have so few of our own.

    Strangely, Daredevil is the number one trending costume search on google. She-Hulk is nowhere on the list, but Mr. Murdoch is as dapper and desirable as ever. Disney fem-fail for sure.

    Another splendid Monday, thank you for your time commitment.

    Reply
  4. JohnC911

    You can tell that Dennis Prager is Jewish or at least the video is aim at Jewish approve audience

    Eye for an Eye: One of the Greatest Ideas in History. Yes it was a great advancement but I think Jesus advance the West and on all mankind.

    Compare what Jesus said in some of these examples down below to anyone else in history and what it has done for the whole world and still continues to influence .

    Mark 12:29-31

    29 Jesus answered him, “The [c]first of all the commandments is: ‘Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. 30 And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength.’ [d]This is the first commandment. 31 And the second, like it, is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.” – New King James Version

    Matthew 5:43-45

    43 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ 44 [o]But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, 45 that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. – New King James Version

    Matthew 5:38-41
    38 “You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’ 39 But I tell you not to resist an evil person. But whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also. 40 If anyone wants to sue you and take away your tunic, let him have your cloak also. 41 And whoever compels you to go one mile, go with him two. 42 Give to him who asks you, and from him who wants to borrow from you do not turn away. – New King James Version

    John 3:15-17
    15 that whoever believes in Him should [c]not perish but have eternal life. 16 For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. 17 For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved. – New King James Version

    Reply
  5. furor kek tonicus ( when asked to choose between Ginger or MaryAnn, i always say, "Lovey". with a nickname like that, she obviously knows what she's doing )

    Rangz is a particularly hilarious example of Feminist Shero Empowerment

    the dumbshits were so busy making Galadrial of critical importance to everything that they’ve actually made her the explicit cause of not merely Sauron’s survival ( at least his physical body would have been destroyed for a while had she not “saved” him ), but his decision to turn BACK to evil.

    Reply

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