“We are Forerunners. Guardians of all that exists. The roots of the Galaxy have grown deep under our careful tending. Where there is life, the wisdom of our countless generations has saturated the soil. Our strength is a luminous sun, towards which all intelligence blossoms… And the impervious shelter, beneath which it has prospered.”

On this week’s episode of Lvov Boat

by | Sep 27, 2022 | Office Space | 7 comments

Back in May, yer very ‘eavy, very ‘umble servant offered up a few thoughts about a thot who arrived on the shores of PommieBastardLande from Banderastan, and proceeded to break up a family in the space of just 10 days. This turned into an evolving soap opera, with a plot-line worthy of Coronation Street (or Eastenders, or whatever it is that the Limeys watch during the day), and even got a couple of epic spin-offs.

Well, it is time for the latest episode of the series, which LRFotS Bardelys the Magnificent once described as “a trailer park soap opera”. Buckle up, lads, it’s a good-un.

That Was Unexpected…

So it turns out that our worthy hero, one Tony Garnett, age 30 from Bradford, West Yorkshire, has now thrown his Ukrainian squeeze out of their shared home:

A security guard who started a relationship with a Ukrainian refugee after he and his long term partner gave her a place to live has dumped her following a furious bust-up, MailOnline can reveal today.

Tony Garnett, 30, claims he has thrown out Sofiia Karkadym, 22, after accusing her of not being able to handle alcohol and using a knife to damage a wall at their rented home.

With her belongings now in black bin liners ready for collection, he also accused her of interfering with his relationship with his two daughters, saying that he would always put them ‘first’.

Tony fell for Sofiia just days after she started living with him and his partner of ten years Lorna Garnett, 28, who is the mother of his two children.

He and his now ex-girlfriend made headlines in May after he left Lorna and moved out of the family home with his new lover so they could start a new life together.

In an exclusive interview with MailOnline, he revealed today: ‘I am 100 per cent through with her. We are finished as a couple.’

Tony claimed that matters came to a head when they rowed on Saturday night while celebrating his 30th birthday at their home in Bradford, West Yorkshire. He said he ended up calling police after Sofiia apparently damaged a wall, leading to officers attending the address.

Well, gee, whoever could have seen THAT coming?

Oh, wait, I DID.

As I have stated repeatedly in the past, Ukrainian women are ferociously hypergamous, to a degree that will shock you if you have never seen it before. I assure you that, no matter how experienced you are with women, no matter how many of them you have dated or bedded, you have never confronted anything quite as bad as the sky-high demands and nuclear bitch-shields that you will get with Ukrainian women, in particular.

Like full-contact combat, or an actual shootout with bullets flying around you, there is simply no way to describe the realities of a relationship with such a woman, until and unless you’ve actually been in one. It is not an experience which I recommend.

Enter the Matrix

There are more lessons to learn from this, and for those, we must turn for instruction to the hallowed and legendary HOT-CRAZY MATRIX video, which you see above. (Precisely HOW that guy managed to get through the whole thing so completely deadpan, and totally professionally, is beyond me – I was paralysed with laughter by about the third minute in, and ended up very nearly breaking something important by the end.)

Watch that video – do not drink liquids, hot or otherwise, while doing so – and then read on.

The original article that I quoted above, goes on to say that:

He claimed that: ‘On Saturday night she picked up a knife and stabbed the wall several times.

‘It really scared me and I had no choice but to call the police. That doesn’t make me happy at all. But I was worried about my safety. ‘

The row happened when two other Ukrainian refugees – Sofiia Rastorhuieva and her boyfriend Illia Tronevych – were staying with the couple.

They had moved in with Tony and Sofiia after he saw a desperate appeal from them on Facebook, asking for accommodation.

Heavily tattooed Tony added: ‘I have made a mistake going into a relationship with Sofiia.


‘I hope that she finds somewhere safe to live and is in a happier place. But she’s not for me.’

Tony, who received a barrage of online abuse over his relationship with Sofiia, said he would be looking for a new home soon and would also part with the other Ukrainian refugees.

He said that Sofiia had sent him a string of messages since the bust-up, saying that she loved him and begging for a reconciliation.

But he said he had told her that he did not want back her back, saying he had already given her ‘chance after chance after chance’.

Here is the evidence:

Yep. Looks like she stabbified the wall to me.

As commenter MK pointed out in my Telegram channel yesterday:

Hoholitas are the reason for the 7-10 rankings on the crazy axis of the hot-crazy matrix. Them, and Latinas.

— A VERY wise man

Oh, but wait, it gets better still – this episode really is packed with action.

A Further Development

EDIT: I had to update this post with new details less than three hours after publishing it, because the absolute, unquestionable truth of the HCM has now been proven for all to see:

Police were called and found Sofiia Karkadym, 22, in the bushes after she made a desperate attempt to try and win back 30-year-old security guard Tony Garnett. 

But Tony – who made headlines when he left his partner and children for IT manager Sofiia after they welcomed her into their family home when war broke out in Ukraine – refused to open the door.

Sofiia had allegedly been told by police to stay away after Tony called officers to an earlier bust-up on Saturday night when he told her their four-month relationship was over.

She left the home they had previously shared, but returned last night when neighbours heard her yelling at Tony outside, and dialled 999 after she repeatedly kicked the door.

Officers arrived in two vehicles with blue lights flashing, but she scaled a garden wall and disappeared into the night.

Police are said to have searched gardens and local streets with torches before they found her hiding in nearby bushes in Bradford, West Yorkshire.

Exclusive footage shows her being escorted away by two officers while she shouted: ‘Tony, I love you. Please come with me’. 

After being taken away for questioning, Sofiia was freed without charge.

It is understood that she told officers she wants to return to her home country and family.

Her visa which allowed her emergency refugee status for six months, expires in a few weeks.

Tony told MailOnline: ‘ it is the perfect storm. Her visa runs out and she’s got nothing here in this country. She’s not with me anymore and she’s got no reason to stay.

‘I did not want her to be charged with anything. I think she has been through a lot and you have to at least sympathise with the fact that she’s from a country which has been invaded.

‘She is from Kyiv which hasn’t really been affected as much as other parts of Ukraine. So hopefully she’ll be safe back with her family.

MailOnline revealed yesterday how Tony dumped Sofiia over her alleged heavy drinking and claims that she objected to him putting his two daughters before her.

Yep. Bitches be BATCRAP CRAZY.

Ex’s Ex Explodes

The woman that Mr. Garnett dumped to run off with a younger, hotter (though that isn’t saying much), tighter plate of pelmeni probably feels thoroughly vindicated, though that likely does not help her situation very much. She is, after all, a jilted single mother of two daughters:

The jilted girlfriend of a British man who dumped her for Ukrainian refugee he welcomed into their home after Putin’s invasion has ruled out getting back together with him and said she ‘knew it would end in disaster for them’.

Tony Garnett, 30, ditched his partner of ten years Lorna Garnett, 28, for Sofiia Karkadym, 22, just 10 days after she arrived at their Bradford home. 

Just four months later, the security guard now claims that he has broken up with Sofiia and thrown her out of their rented home, after accusing her of not being able to handle alcohol, using a knife to damage a wall and interfering with his relationship with his two daughters.

Lorna, the mother of Tony’s two children, has now told her friends that she ‘knew it would end in disaster’ for them – but was surprised that it happened so quickly.

She is unable to speak publicly about Tony due to court proceedings, but The Sun reported that she told her friends that she would not take him back ‘in a million years’.

She added: ‘He has thrown away so much. He can’t see me because of a restraining order and he hasn’t been seeing the children. But it’s hard to feel any sympathy.’

A friend reportedly said that Lorna has been hurt Tony’s actions but has remained strong and that ‘her entire focus has been on the children’.

Indeed, it is impossible to feel much sympathy for Mr. Garnett, Ms Karkadym, or, really, any other party in this whole snarled-up ball of stupid – except for the children.

This is nothing short of a catastrophe for them. The two young daughters in this whole sordid mess will now have to grow up without a father, and with an embittered and angry mother who has been through psychological trauma. This is a toxic combination of ingredients that will likely result in some very nasty psychological hangups later in life.

With Didactic Authority

What, then, are we to make of all of this?

Every episode in this amazingly trashy soap opera has always underscored the basic point that Ukrainian refugees – really, any refugees – need to be sent back to their countries of origin. They are not compatible with the native cultures and peoples of the lands in which they have settled.

Take it from someone who has had to learn how to blend in across 7 different countries and territories, and who has lived and worked beside just about every major culture on Earth – it is EXTREMELY hard to leave your native culture behind. When you combine a culture as broken as Ukraine’s, with one as broken as Britain’s, the results are inevitably going to be disastrous.

More than that, this series underscores some very harsh and painful Biblical truths.

Husbands, Love Your Wives

25 Do not desire her beauty in your heart,
    and do not let her capture you with her eyelashes;
26 for the price of a prostitute is only a loaf of bread,[g]
    but a married woman[h] hunts down a precious life.
27 Can a man carry fire next to his chest
    and his clothes not be burned?
28 Or can one walk on hot coals
    and his feet not be scorched?
29 So is he who goes in to his neighbor’s wife;
    none who touches her will go unpunished.
30 People do not despise a thief if he steals
    to satisfy his appetite when he is hungry,
31 but if he is caught, he will pay sevenfold;
    he will give all the goods of his house.
32 He who commits adultery lacks sense;
    he who does it destroys himself.
33 He will get wounds and dishonor,
    and his disgrace will not be wiped away.

— Proverbs 6:25-33, English Standard Version

Do you know why the Bible condemns adultery so thoroughly? It is not merely because of a promise broken between God, Man, and Woman – it is because the results of adultery damage the next generation. Divorce is devastating for children – the evidence is overwhelming on this subject, and the evidence about children in fatherless homes, in particular, is horrifying.

Daughters need a strong man in the house to civilise them, keep them in check, and – most importantly – provide them with a template for the kind of man with whom they should in turn date, marry, and bear children. When you break that template, you inflict harm on multiple generations, and that is not to be borne. It is a true crime, which is precisely why Biblical teaching punished it so severely, both in this life and the next.

The Quarrelsome Woman

It is better to live in a corner of the housetop
    than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife.

— Proverbs 21:9, English Standard Version

I must also remark upon the temper shown by the Ukrop woman in this whole sordid episode. I am sorry to say that I am not in the least surprised by the fact that she turned out to be an unhinged nutcase, prone to violence. I assure you from painful personal experience that this is not mere PTSD. That extremely violent temper, and the resulting propensity to lash out, is a direct consequence of the culture that Eastern Europeans come from.

Russian women are generally better than their Ukrainian sisters in this regard, though both come from quite broken cultures. The reason why is simple. Your average Russian has considerably better prospects in life than her Ukrainian sister, because the Russian lives in a country that actually functions, with a decent economy and reasonably coherent society. If she keeps her nose clean, she can generally do reasonably well for herself – she can get married and have children and hope for a halfway decent future.

The Ukrainian has no such expectation, especially not anymore. She comes from a country where the life expectancy for men is catastrophically short, where the social safety net is pathetic, the economy is broken, and whatever is left is stolen by corrupt politicians and oligarchs. She lives in a country where there is no real prospect for any real growth or change, and which has thrown away virtually everything that the USSR bequeathed to it back in 1991.

The results are predictable. Ukrainian women put great store in their looks and femininity, and have evolved a set of hypergamous instincts that are honed to an absolute razor’s edge. I wasn’t joking when I said, in earlier instalments, that Russian women can tell some very sad stories about their men falling for Ukrainian slags and running off with them, only to be left broken and broke aftwards.

The flip side of that hypergamy comes in a temper that resembles something like a lit keg of black powder – except that you don’t know how long the fuse is. Such a woman has to suppress her natural desire to change a man, to be contentious against him and contrary to his will (Genesis 3:16) to attract him in the first place. The problem is that women cannot suppress such things for very long. When the explosion comes – and IT ABSOLUTELY WILL – then it will be of a sort that most men cannot handle.

Nor should they be expected to. That kind of insanity is not to be borne. It does NOT improve with time, it only gets worse. Fixing it requires therapy and prayer, and tremendous willpower – and the latter is something in which most women are notably lacking.

Conclusion – Lessons Never Learned

30 Jesus replied, “A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and he fell among robbers, who stripped him and beat him and departed, leaving him half dead. 31 Now by chance a priest was going down that road, and when he saw him he passed by on the other side. 32 So likewise a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. 33 But a Samaritan, as he journeyed, came to where he was, and when he saw him, he had compassion. 34 He went to him and bound up his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he set him on his own animal and brought him to an inn and took care of him. 35 And the next day he took out two denarii[c] and gave them to the innkeeper, saying, ‘Take care of him, and whatever more you spend, I will repay you when I come back.’ 36 Which of these three, do you think, proved to be a neighbor to the man who fell among the robbers?” 37 He said, “The one who showed him mercy.” And Jesus said to him, “You go, and do likewise.”

— Luke 10:30-37, English Standard Version

The most important lesson of all is the one that the West never, ever seems to learn. It has to do with how one should treat refugees in need of help.

It is right, decent, and thoroughly Christian to seek to help those in distress. The Parable of the Good Samaritan, shown above, is very clear in this respect.

Notice, however, the ways in which this parable is totally twisted out of context by the modern wormtongues who rule our societies. Westerners are constantly shamed into accepting hordes of Dirt Worlders and “refugees” (i.e. economic migrants) into their societies. If they refuse, they are called hard-hearted racists and xenophobes who just want to keep people “not like them” out of their societies. This is somehow “un-Christian”.

That is all nonsense. Look at the details of the Parable above, and you will immediately understand why.

The Good Samaritan tended to the afflicted Jew’s wounds and helped him, of his own free will, to be sure. But he did NOT shelter that man in his own home. He paid for the man to be housed at an inn, and gave the innkeeper sufficient funds to pay for the Jew’s treatment and basic needs.

Keep in mind that, at the time when His Hugeness spoke those words, the Samaritans were regarded as corrupt, filthy, neo-pagan half-breeds by the Jews, unworthy of even so much as a glance in their direction. Yet Our Lord showed great compassion and mercy toward them, and treated them with the utmost respect (see John 4). The full significance of Our Lord’s words should therefore be apparent to you when you realise that He elevated a Samaritan above the Jews.

And even then, the Samaritan treated the afflicted Jew as a neighbour – not as part of his own family.

The lesson for Westerners is very clear. Ukrainian refugees – just like ALL refugees – should be treated with kindness and decency, in their OWN COUNTRY. Should you, or anyone like you, seek to help them, let it be from your own pocket – do not demand that your government steal from your neighbour by force, to give your neighbour’s wealth to them.

Most importantly, keep those refugees where they are. Let them inhabit camps at the borders of Belarus, Russia, Poland, Romania, Hungary, and so on, and let those countries decide of their own free will whether they want to take them in. But Western Europeans are under no obligation whatsoever to take in refugees of any kind.

What about the Russians? They have accepted more refugees than the rest of Europe. The key point to keep in mind is that, from the Russian perspective, the ethnic Russians living in (what will soon no longer be) southern and eastern Ukraine are not “neighbours”. THEY ARE RUSSIANS. For them, it is not a matter of helping their neighbours – it is a matter of helping their own families. That is why the Russians have experienced far fewer problems and hang-ups with the ethnic Russians that they have taken in, than the peoples of western Europe, who have taken in the Nazified and deeply broken ethnic Ukrainians of the western part of that benighted country.

The overriding lesson of this crazy family drama remains, as ever: SINK THE DAMN SHIPS if you want to avoid watching ever more expensive re-runs of Lvov Boat!!!


Seeing as how we always close out each episode of Lvov Boat with ironmongery and Instahoes, let’s round things off with some inappropriately insalubrious inspiration. We start with the first song that I thought of when I saw the headlines that inspired today’s shitpost:

The 80s were just BETTER. They just WERE.

What do you suppose it would take to become an actual blacksmith? Well, let’s find out:

Oh, but wait, it gets better – what can you do when you become a master blacksmith?

Well… you can make your very own CHAINSWORD!!!

Moving on – let’s have a bit more heavy metal:

And finally, seeing as this all started with a thot, let’s end with one too – the kind of Ukrainian that your mum warned you about, the kind that falls SQUARELY into the danger zone of the Hot-Crazy Matrix. This would be Anastasiya Bodrykh from Kharkov – which, as of October 1st, will still technically be part of Ukraine.

This is not at all atypical of what you will find with Ukrainians – they look great on the surface, but beneath all the layers is a seriously messed-up ball of crazy.

Truly, am I not kind?

And that’s it for this episode of Lvov Boat, lads, we’ll see you on the next one.

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  1. Jim S

    Interesting. I thought, and stated previously that the Ukie female would do a guy upgrade to blow things up. Instead, she is bat guano crazeee…! Important lesson that most men learn the hard way, don’t let the little ‘feller do the thinking for your brain. You usually lose in the end. I do feel empathy and some sympathy for the kids. I’ve seen how divorce has emotionally and spiritually hurt kids, and it sucks.

    In regards to the crazy/hot video, spot on. All you youngins, Rule 1: DO NOT DATE OR MARRY CRAZY HOT WOMENS. Rule 2: Do not forget Rule 1, no matter how hot she is. It’s a hard rule to follow sometimes, I know, I have been there a few times. I finally got smart and lucky with my wife (she’s a 5 on the crazy scale, it’s manageable 99% of the time. When “crazy” is not manageable, I ignore her-which all womens hate, to get her back to reality, it works for me. Of course it took some experimentation on my part to figure it out.).

    • Bardelys the Magnificent

      Doesn’t matter how hot she is, some guy somewhere is sick of her shit.

  2. TechieDude

    I like the term Vox Day uses for the Ukrainian women – Apex Predators.

  3. Robert W

    She didn’t stab that wall once, that’s a half dozen stabs. I’m assuming overhand with a reverse grip, roughly where his head would be if she was stabbing at him. Danger indeed.

    Was there a hypergamous event when the second pair of Ukie’s showed up? As in the Ukie man already knew how to handle the Ukie woman with him, and in contrast, our aspiring Tony was a beta orbiter? No pictures or mention of them, but I’m going to have to assume the Ukie girl was also considerably more feminine than the average British woman, and so did she present a threat herself?

    I can say one thing with confidence: There’s at least one more episode of this story to come.

  4. thedeti

    I had heard Eastern European /former Soviet bloc nation women were like this – hypergamous, moody, bitchy, borderline personality disorder/PTSD on gamma irradiated steroids – but did not make the connection why.

    Of course. It’s because their home countries are so dysfunctional, so unpredictable, and so harrowing, that these women have to use literally everything at their disposals just to stay alive. The only things these women have are their bodies. That’s it. They have literally nothing else. They don’t know if they’ll starve to death, be graped to death, or lose their home today. They don’t know where their next meals are coming from. They don’t know if Mom and Dad will be there when they get home, or even if the home will be there when they get there.

    nothing about their lives can be predicted with any certainty. They can’t even be sure they’ll live to the end of the week.

    They’re crazy. But the fact that she’s hot does not mean any particular man has to make that his problem.

  5. thedeti

    A character on The Americans told one of the FBI agents – who was having an affair with a Russian woman – about Russian women.

    “Don’t tell a Russian woman you love her unti she has said it to you first. She won’t respect you.”

  6. RJ

    The song “Maneater” was inspired by model/actress Kelly LeBrock. John Oates was in a restaurant with some acquaintances when LeBrock walked in. According to Oates, she knew someone he was with, sat down with his group, and started telling dirty jokes and swearing like a sailor. The line “she’ll chew you up” popped into Oates’ head as he watched her.

    TL;DR version: the Hot/Crazy matrix is true.


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