“We are Forerunners. Guardians of all that exists. The roots of the Galaxy have grown deep under our careful tending. Where there is life, the wisdom of our countless generations has saturated the soil. Our strength is a luminous sun, towards which all intelligence blossoms… And the impervious shelter, beneath which it has prospered.”

Monday morning Clown News Neutering

by | Aug 22, 2022 | Mondays | 2 comments

Lord, here we go with yet another Monday. Take some comfort, though, in the fact that, as bad as it is for you right now, it is much, MUCH worse for Gamma Doughboy Brian Stelter. Now, normally I don’t take much pleasure in the misfortunes of others, but I make a conspicuous exception for whorenalists and presstitutes. My views on them can charitably be described as “extreme”, for the simple reason that I believe a man should be held responsible for his words and actions.

Calling Li’l Brian a “man” is something of a stretch, though, because he has the voice of a woman, the body of a dumpling, and the quality of an oil spill. So, rather inevitably, it was an immense pleasure to learn that Brian’s show, so laughably named “Reliable Sources” by the Clown News Network, has been cancelled, and Stelter is going to have to clear out his desk and find some actual work to do for once in his life.

Let us, therefore, commemorate the ignominious career of one of the oiliest and most irritating characters in the MSM with a tribute compilation of people making him look and sound stupid:

Here is Larry Johnson giving Stelter a serious dose of nasty medicine on his own show with respect to the Fibbies spying on the God-Emperor:

We’ll leave the last word to the one and only Mark Dice, who has more than earned the right to appear twice in this compilation, because his impression of Li’l Brian Stelter is the one that we all hear in our heads every time Doughboy speaks. He’s owned Stelter so hard that there is simply no way for the fatass to recover.

The Mighty God-Emperor

His Most Illustrious, Noble, August, Benevolent, and Legendary Celestial Majesty, the God-Emperor of Mankind, Donaldus Triumphus Magnus Astra, the First of His Name, the Lion of Midnight, may the Lord bless him and preserve him, clearly married a good woman, as this unusually hagiographic and surprisingly sensible article in The Daily Fail proves:

While many speculated Melania would leave her husband of 17 years the moment Marine One, the presidential helicopter, departed the White House front lawn at the chaotic end of his term in office, that has not turned out to be the case.

Instead, the former First Lady has been quietly rebuilding her life away from the spotlight.

[…]

While focusing on family and the charitable causes that interest her, Melania set up a website earlier this year to raise money for children’s charities, selling digital artwork for $150 a time, including a close-up portrait of her eyes and a sepia-toned image of her face.

In May, she made a rare public appearance to Place of Hope, a foster care agency in Palm Beach.

Friends say that, for the most part, she has been living in the 3,500 sq ft private residence at Mar-a-Lago, which is also an exclusive private club offering carefully vetted members the chance to join for a one-off $250,000 fee and annual dues of $16,000.

She swims laps in the Olympic-sized pool, plays tennis three times a week on the private courts, hosts parties in the ballroom and has facials and massages at the spa.

Perhaps most importantly – in an America so riven by politics, many fear it is on the brink of civil war – Mar-a-Lago is a fortress.

It has a 50 ft watchtower and an army of private armed security guards to complement the Trump family’s secret service protection given to all former presidents.

Mrs Holt Kramer says: ‘Mrs Trump has never made any secret of the fact that she considers being a wife and mother her greatest accomplishment. Perhaps that is why so many people attack her? I guess that’s not a fashionable thing to say any more.’

Contrary, though, to all the fervid speculation – mostly fostered by Trump’s enemies as he ponders whether to stand for President again in the 2024 election – not only are Donald and Melania very much together, but she increasingly seems to be the power behind the throne.

If it is Donald Trump’s outsized personality and magnetic media presence that draws in millions of supporters – and campaign dollars – from America’s vast interior, it is Melania’s polished elegance and carefully executed role as a traditional wife that have done so much to keep Republican women in the fold.

And Trump knows it well. Mrs Holt Kramer says she watched the couple earlier this year on the candle-lit terrace at Mar-a-Lago, and, for two hours, she told The Mail on Sunday, ‘Donald was hanging on every word of his wife’.

For her part, Melania ‘seemed oblivious to all else’.

‘He absolutely trusts her judgment on everything.’ Another source said that as ‘Mrs Trump’, she holds a lot of power. ‘Conservative women admire her for being a perfect wife.

#BasedTucker is Based

Tucker is finally BACK from his vacation, and so is his section:

Aug 15, 2022

Aug 16, 2022

Aug 17, 2022

Aug 18, 2022

Aug 19, 2022

Dawn of Battle

The Male Brain has plenty to entertain us on a dreary day, with quite a few videos from channels that haven’t featured around here in a while. We start with the return of a much-missed commentator on all things current and future – Felix Rex is finally back:

ReasonTV reasonably ridicules risible redefinitions:

We’re back with JP Sears too, who points out that you SHOULD join the Dark Side, because they have cookies:

Kurzgesagt – in a Nutshell asks the relevant questions:

Solid jj goes over the Dark Knight’s true contingency plans:

And finally we’re back with Ryan George, who talks about what the first guy ever to scuba-dive had to say about the experience:

Poli-ticking Off

Mark Dice had a banner week, what with Gamma Doughboy Stelter‘s implosion following hard on the heels of Liz Cheney getting BTFO’d from her job:

China Uncensored notes that Europe isn’t the only part of the world suffering from severe drought:

I said a while back that Europe was having an unusually cold and wet summer. Whooooo boy, was I ever wrong. In fact, Europe is having a dreadful summer – extremely hot and dry, the likes of which I haven’t seen since, I think, 2006. And the Europeans have made it about 10x worse for themselves in the process.

Winston Sterzel aka serpentza pours very cold water on the notion that China is going to collapse anytime soon:

He gets a lot wrong about Russia, but when it comes to China, I think he’s dead to rights. The CCP controls transportation, money, energy, and food – that is to say, EVERYTHING that makes society run properly. With that level of complete control over everything important, there is simply no way the CCP will collapse even if the financial sector implodes in China (which it won’t, not completely).

The dynamic duo over at Redacted dismantle the narratives and lies coming out of Elensky’s mouth:

Jackson Hinkle did a long and rather good livestream about the ways in which the Neo-Tsar and the Neo-Mandarin are systematically dismantling the WEF’s proposed world order:

Дед Сварилвый Говорит!

Grandpa Grumpuss grumps, grumpily about the absurd notion that the Russians borrow anything in their submarine designs from the Americans, when they plainly don’t:

It’s All Greek To Us

The dynamic duo of The Duran in their joint programme discussed the recent speeches by Russian President Vladimir Putin and Defence Minister Sergei Shoigu:

They were genuinely remarkable speeches, and very unusually, Shoigu spoke for just about as long as Putin did, and on a much wider range of subjects than is normal for a Defence Minister. You can find translations of their speeches here for the Neo-Tsar, and here for Shoigu.

Righteous Rantery

PJW is thoroughly unimpressed by the absolute state of modren art:

Let’s just turn modern art galleries into landfills and toilets, and have done with it.

Lord Razor of the Fist Clan wants everyone to share in the joys of schadenboning after the downfall of RINO Cheney:

Dr. John Campbell replaces Dr. Sam Bailey in this segment, at least for now, because I think the latter has gone very nearly full potato with respect to the existence of viruses and her embrace of the rather kooky methodology used by Dr. Stefan Lanka to claim that measles doesn’t exist. Instead, let’s have Dr. Campbell examine, coolly and clinically, the actual data on adverse reactions in the UK to their not-vaxx – and the numbers are actually pretty horrible:

Sorelle Amore Finance breaks down the nonsense of electrical “zero-emission” cars:

I’m totally unconvinced of the utility of ZE cars, and not just because I don’t believe the nonsense about “emissions”. Nobody seems to have thought through the real energy and infrastructure requirements of having a fleet of these vehicles humming around in Western cities, and nobody seems to have figured out that maintaining and cleaning these things is actually very difficult due to all of the toxic chemicals used in making them.

Warriors of Faith

The Dizzle did a lot to expose Sheikh Dr. Yasir Qadhi‘s bullshit back in the day, so let’s remember what that means:

Dr. Jay Smith from PfanderFilms offers up some very cogent thoughts about the attempted murder of Salman Rushdie:

Al-Fadi from CIRA International and Dr. Jay Smith continue to examine the true roots of the Koran, and note that ultimately it is a bastardised take on the original Aramaic lectionaries that put Christ front and centre:

Manly Men of Manliness

Terrence Popp chronicles the malfeasance of Child Protective Services workers who now tell underage children to become prostitutes – YOUR TAX DOLLARS AT WORK!!!:

Joker from Better Bachelor has this crazy, strange, and antiquated notion that maybe being a mother is BETTER than being a whore:

Burn Paedowood to the Ground

Midnight’s Edge reckon that the Netherflix adaptation of Neil Gaiman‘s Sandman is also Jar-Jar Abrams‘ fault, and given his track record, they’re almost certainly correct:

Overlord Dicktor Van Doomcock talks about the latest round of stupidity to be inflicted upon the Caped Crusader:

Ryan Kinel is unimpressed by Amazog’s efforts to inject yet more duhversitee into The Master’s work:

The Drinker watched the new She-Hulk series, so that you don’t have to – and believe me, you don’t WANT to, either:

Gary from Nerdrotic is clearly a glutton for punishment, though, because he did watch She-Hulk, and now he wants that big chunk of his life back:

Reading Too Much Into Things

Your “Science is F***ING WEIRD” moment of the week is from Dawn Pine, and discusses new findings that suggest how doctors could determine your political leanings based on a scan of your brain:

Political and psychological researchers at Ohio State University, New York University, and the University of Pittsburgh School of Medicine can predict whether you are a conservative or a liberal through analysis of functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) scans. Their current research confirms previous studies suggesting there are both biological and psychological differences in the brains of those who lean left and right.

In a study published in PNAS Nexus, the researchers used fMRI data to analyze the brain activity of 174 volunteers, aged 18 to 40 years, and of varying political ideologies, while performing various tasks. The tasks involved emotional responses, memory retrieval, monetary (reward) incentive, and theory of mind, wherein the participant has to determine whether a statement is true or false. The researchers observed how functional connectivity networks in the brain differ between the two ideologies while performing the different tasks and at rest.

This is actually not surprising. There is well-established evidence telling us that liberals and conservatives have fundamentally different brain structures, particularly with respect to the sizes of their respective amygdalae. This is the central thesis of Anonymous Conservative‘s book, The Evolutionary Psychology of Politics, which argues that conservatives tend to have a very well developed amygdala, whereas liberals tend not to, and this determines their fear reactions and responses.

That key finding has been repeatedly distorted by liberal media to mock conservatives and right-wingers by claiming that we are more “fearful” and resistant to change than liberals – when, in reality, the biggest pussies, wusses, and cowards in the world are almost ALWAYS liberals. The reality is that conservatives simply assess risk much more actively and carefully than liberals do, and that is why we tend to trust what works over what is new.

This new research, by contrast, focuses on how neurons connect and fire in different brains, and will probably show us that liberals and conservatives literally are wired very differently.

Your long read of the week is from Andrei Raevsky aka The Saker, who ponders what a future partitioned Banderastan will look like, and how Russia will go about breaking up a state that has lost its legitimacy and right to exist in its present form:

So will the Ukraine be partitioned?

Yes, absolutely, it has already lost huge parts of its territory and it will only lose more.

Might the western neighbors decide to take a bite out off the western Ukraine?  Sure!  That is a real possibility.

But these will all be either unilateral actions or very unofficially coordinated understandings wrapped in plausible deniability (like the deployment Polish “peacekeepers” to “protect” the western Ukraine).  But mostly I predict two things will happen: 1) Russia will achieve all of her goals unilaterally without making any deals with anybody and 2) Russia will only allow the Ukraine’s western neighbors to bite off some chucks of the Ukraine if, and only if, those chunks to not represent any military threat to Russia.

Remember what Putin said about Finland and Sweden and Finland joining NATO?  He said that by itself, this is not a problem for Russia.  But he warned that should these countries host US/NATO forces and weapons systems threatening Russia, than Russia will have to take counter-measures.  I think that this is also the Kremlin’s position about the future of any rump-Banderastan and any moves by NATO countries (including Poland, Romania and Hungary) to reacquire territories which historically belonged to them or which have substantial Polish, Romanian and Hungarian minorities.

Right now, we are only in the second phase of the SMO (which centers of the Donbass) and Russia has not even initiated any operations to move deeper into the Ukraine.  As for the real war, the war between Russia and the combined West, it has been going on for no less than decade, or even more, and this war will last much longer than the SMO in the Ukraine.  Finally, the outcome of this war will see  tectonic and profound changes at least as damatic as the changes resulting from the outcomes of WWI and WWII.

The Russians understand that what they now really must do is to truly finish WWII and that the formal end of WWII in 1945 only marked the transition to a different type of warfare still imposed by a united, consolidated West, but now not by German Nazis but by (mostly) US Neocons (which, of course, are typical racist Nazis, except their racism is Anglo and Judaic/Zionist).

Linkage is good for you:

And some more from Dawn Pine:

MUH RUSHIAN KAHLOOOOOZHUN!!!

The Neo-Tsar notes a very basic and objective truth about the 404 War and the West’s participation in it during his opening remarks at the big military expo in Moscow:

Those Who Fail To Learn From History…

History lessons of the week:

HALO Nation

The Act Man argues that HALO has lost the core ideas that made the franchise so amazing in the first place:

He comes at it from the perspective of the multiplayer side of things, and since I am a campaign-only HALO player, I literally could not care less about that aspect. But he raises a lot of valid criticisms about the decisions made by 343i and Microsoft, which ignore the very things that made the original series so amazing.

From the campaign perspective, I would argue that HALO has simply become stale and boring – or at least, it was in HALO 5: Guardians. I haven’t yet played HALO Infinite – I need to ship all my shit over from the USA, and assuming that my Xbox One still works at all and doesn’t soil itself downloading over 4 YEARS’ worth of updates (yes, seriously), then MAYBE I might be able to get around to it before the end of this year. (Very unlikely.)

All I can say is that 343i tried hard with HI to reclaim the very things that made the original games so great, and judging by the feedback that I’ve gotten from readers here and elsewhere, they seem to have succeeded with the campaign, but they really screwed the pooch in a lot of ways with the multiplayer and co-op aspects.

And now here’s slayergod Remy aka Mint Blitz doing what only he can do:

That’s Not Gone Well…

Wazzocks gonna wazzock:

At the 20:47 mark – “That’s an hour and forty minutes a week the government is STEALING from JESUS“

Kitchen Nightmares with the Angry Scot:

Comedy hour:

Pictionary, Pulchritude, Pew-Pews

We start with some great memes supplied to us by The Male Brain:

Parenting today. What is wrong with those people?
If they aim the same as those guys showing, we are all good
Solid advice

Onward:

Headlines of the week indicate that Floriduh Man is really feeling the impact of inflation:

Your “1984” moment of the week:

Your “HE BLOODY TOLD YOU SO!” moment of the week:

Your “Leave It To Beaver” moment of the week:

Your “Mind Your Own Beeswax” moment of the week:

Your “Don’t Feed the Yellowstone Bears” moment of the week:

Your “Yeah, Think Harder, Just Like That!!!” moment of the week:

Your “Philly Or Bust” moment of the week:

Your “F**K This, Never Going Swimming Again” moment of the week:

Your “Batshit Crazy Ideas” moment of the week:

Clearly, they were way ahead of their time
WHO WOULDN’T WANT DARTH VADER AS HIS KIDS’ FOOTBALL COACH?!?!?
One for the rosary-rattlers

Animal Planet

Your aminules are adorkable moment of the week:

And also your animals are absolute DICKS moment of the week, to balance things out:

And finally, your “Meanwhile, in Russia” moment of the week:

The Lords of Steel

Gym beast props this week go to Estonian lifter Rauno Heina:

And just to balance things out a bit, the Trap Lord, Elgintensity, is finally back with a breakdown of the breakdown that was the 2022 CrossShit Games:

I can’t believe that people still take CrossShit seriously. This is not a sport. It’s just a lot of very retarded exercises done very fast with no respect for form, safety, or common bloody SENSE.

Ass-Kicking of the Eight Limbs

The Buakawminator is back in action after three years out of the game:

He’s obviously still capable of competing with the best, but that wasn’t anyone’s idea of a top-quality muay thai fight. I think Buakaw has at least two more fights slated for this year, and he’s also signed up with Bare Knuckle Fighting Championship too, so that should be VERY interesting to watch.

And now let’s watch one of the most exciting talents of the new generation, Tawanchai, who looks exactly like an accountant calmly doing the books – while mangling people’s legs and breaking their faces:

Palate Cleanser

Before we get to the heavy stuff, let’s listen to a rather lovely song from the VERY beautiful Natalya Morozova (Наталья Морозова):

Russian, grey eyes, long hair, nice face, beautiful voice… Lord, have mercy.

Livin’ in the Land of the Metal Gods

Also Einstein: “I fear that someday people will post my pic on the Internet with bogus made-up quotations in Comic Sans font”

Hot Totty

Let’s conclude with everyone’s favourite thing about Mondays – an Instathot that serves as both a welcome and a warning. This here is Sofia Vokhmina (София Вохмина), age unknown but probably below 25, originally from Moscow and now living in Novosibirsk. That’s a city of about 1.6M sitting smack-dab in the middle of Siberia (as if the name didn’t give it away), approximately 3,400Km east of Moscow.

That’s all, folks. Get back to your indentured servitude job, so that you can pay more taxes for your government to waste on pointless endless wars that make weapons contractors rich and you poor.

(What? It’s Monday. Nobody ever said we have to be happy about it.)

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2 Comments

  1. MrUNIVAC
    MrUNIVAC on August 22, 2022 at 10:43 am

    The Acting Man himself summed up Halo’s problem in a different video. Paraphrasing, “Halo 4 was trying to be COD. Halo 5 was trying to be Titanfall. Halo Infinite is trying to be Fortnite. Why can’t Halo just be Halo?”

    The open-world parts of the campaign are excellent, if a little underbaked, but the linear story missions kind of suck. There are like 4 environments in the whole game and 3 of them are recycled repeatedly. It’s not like CE where the first 7 levels were each a totally different place. The boss fights can be fun, but if you go into them with the wrong weapons (like I did in the first one), you’re going to have a rough time.

    I’ve stopped playing multiplayer because it takes them 6 months to update anything and I was already kind of tired of the game when I finished the last battle pass. The new one also encourages you to play free-for-all modes (meaning not with your friends), which kind of sucks.

    Reply
  2. Robert W
    Robert W on August 25, 2022 at 12:25 pm

    If anyone here is rushing and skiping to the THOTs on these Monday browser busters, you missed some real gems.

    The link section, in particular, is a treasure trove:

    …a lady going Allahu akbar on the plane while the airline staff is befuddled until a man steps up to solve the problem…
    …the real-life pasta nazi in Tel Aviv….a Chinese man who marries his bride after knowing and showing a video of her boinking his brother (seriously, what?!)…woman divorces her new husband to marry her new stepson and is carrying his SECOND child…

    +100 points for the Natalya Morozova song. No idea what she said but it is simply beautiful.

    Reply

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