I only realised that it is May the 4th while I was in the shower, preparing for the day. In all honesty, I don’t much care for STAR WARS Day anymore, simply because of the egregious and wanton acts of extreme destruction inflicted upon the franchise by the House of the Devil Mouse. Basically, anything released after, pretty much, 2014 in the STAR WARS film franchise, is basically useless and unworthy of the mantle.
But the original movies were something else. They were truly amazing. Even today, more than 40 years later, they still hold up exceptionally well. Yes, the dialogue is silly, some of the acting is absurd, the hairdos – particularly in the first film – are CLEARLY from the 1970s (NOT a good thing), and the plots have HUGE holes that you could pilot Death Stars through.
And yet… and yet…
Those original films retain their old magic. They still tell, at their core, the story of the Hero’s Journey from callow, untested yoot, to seasoned, wise, and highly skilled MAN. That is their appeal, their great strength and merit.
So, in honour of what the franchise used to be, let us take a moment to remember STAR WARS for what it was, before those [series of extremely graphic and crude Russian curses deleted] at the House of the Devil Mouse got their filthy paws on it:
The prequels were just okay, but there were some truly legendary and epic scenes from them, too:
And now let’s treat the current state of the franchise as it deserves. Here are some great memes from our good friend, The Male Brain:
Here are some videos explaining why the Devil Mouse Wars crap is so bad – not that WE need any explanation, obviously:
Here’s what happens when you screw with what works, in favour of “THE MESSAGE”:
Let’s leave the last, and very poignant, word to our drunken Scottish friend:
His final statements in that second video really hit the FEELZ hard, eh? He’s every bit as disappointed as the rest of us are – we wanted Devil Mouse Wars to be great, and instead of just giving the fans a great story with relatable characters and epic villains, the House of the Devil Mouse shat in their faces.
Fortunately, the Devil Mouse is suffering from horrible financial results right now, so they’re getting exactly what they deserved.