The Very Fake Noose trial ended yesterday in a much-deserved conviction for former Empire actor, Jussie Smollett, whose “acting” career could charitably be described as “patchy” by this point. Greg Gutfeld and his friends had an absolute field day with the story, as did the rest of us shitlords, because it just confirms what we’ve always suspected to be true:
The Left literally doesn’t understand what real hate crimes actually look like. They’re so useless at figuring it out, they can’t even stage hate crimes effectively.
The Master himself, J. R. R. Tolkien, once sagely observed that “evil cannot create, it can only corrupt”. That is absolute truth, and rarely have we seen it on fuller display than in the Smollett case. Mr. Smollett apparently could not figure out arse from elbow. He hired two Nigerian bodybuilder bros (literally – they’re brothers) to stage the attack. Then he paid them with a personal cheque – not cash – and allowed himself to be FILMED rehearsing the stunt.
And all of that is before we get to the realities of the hoax itself. Apparently Mr. Smollett wanted everyone to believe that he wandered outside on a January night in Chicago, when the temperature was – and I’m not making this up – 22 degrees below zero (in Celsius, to be clear – I don’t tolerate or understand that Fahrenheit crap), at 2am, to get a sandwich from Subway.
That, right there, should have been a gigantic red flag. I mean, have you eaten at a Subway recently? The sandwiches aren’t that good. Neither are the salads. And what kind of idiot goes out at 2am for a sandwich in the middle of winter?!?! If nothing else… wouldn’t you prefer a bowl of soup instead?!
The great big snarled-up ball of stupid that was the original hoax just got more preposterous from there, unfortunately. Mr. Smollett claimed that he got jumped by two White guys wearing MAGA hats, who doused him in bleach and hung a noose around his neck.
This, in a city that went hard for the Hilldebitch in 2016? Where anyone wearing a MAGA hat is liable to get BTFOd by crowds of angry Dindus?
As pointed out in that GUTFELD! segment linked above, not only is Mr. Smollett not a very good actor, he isn’t a very good director or writer either.
On the plus side, he will go down in the history books, I suppose – as the first American ever to scam not one, but TWO Nigerians. And, let’s face facts, the Nigerians had it coming. You can only send so many of those stupid emails before someone snaps.
The overarching lesson of all of this is that the Left ALWAYS lies. If CNNLOL tells you that the sky is blue, make sure you stick your head out the window to check, because the probability that the Gammas and Karens that they have filling their seats over there are lying their asses off.
More to the point, though, if you want to beat the Left – just laugh at them. That’s all it takes.
This is the core lesson of C. S. Lewis’s classic work, The Screwtape Letters. As noted by Mr. Lewis’s close friend and fellow literary legend above, Satan and his minions can only corrupt, but they cannot bear to have their corruptions mocked. That is the fastest and most effective way to destroy them.
Just laugh at them.
It enrages them and turns them into snarling balls of inchoate fury. Watching them melt down like that is quite frightening if you aren’t used to it, but it’s absolutely hilarious once you get past that initial reaction.
Always remember that the Lord has a very real, if very peculiar, sense of humour. If you’re going to stay on His side, you have to learn to laugh at the sheer stupidity of His enemies, just like He does. The reality is that He could blink them out of existence with no more effort than you or I might take in choosing what to have for breakfast. But He doesn’t – not because pain and suffering amuse Him, but because He has a long-term plan and clear goal in mind to defeat and destroy that evil, utterly and totally, on HIS terms.
He already knows how it will all end. We don’t. Satan doesn’t.
But he does know that he is going down – Satan can read the Bible just like we can, after all. And he knows, as we do not, what kind of terrible torment awaits him.
All he wants to do – all he can do – is take as many of us down with him as possible, into that lake of fire.
One of the better ways to avoid that fate, and to show him exactly whose side you are on, is simply to laugh your ass off when he inevitably screws up.
And with that morsel to chew over, let’s get on with gearing up for the weekend. For it is, of course, Friday, and y’all know what that means.
This week’s lovely lady is Priscilla Huggins Ortiz, age 28, originally from San Juan, Puerto Rico, and now based in Floriduh. She is a model and “actress” – well, she actually has landed a few bit parts in a couple of films, so she’s more of an actress than most of her fellow Instathots – who has landed shoots and gigs with MAXIM, Playboy, Vogue, Maybelline, and a bunch of other brands. (Damned if I know what any of that means.)
Whatever her CV details, we can all agree that she looks really quite good in a bikini.
Happy Friday, gentlemen. Try to keep yourselves sane in a world going progressively madder by the minute, and do your best to relax in the midst of the chaos. You’re going to need the rest over the coming days and weeks, as countries around the world try to lock us all down yet again over a supposed new “variant” that appears to be not much worse than a bad cold.