Your son is a blessed man.

He is indeed. TechieDude contacted me separately with the full story. I will not go into the details without his express permission, but suffice to say, his son has a strong father, a very solid family, and some very good friends. His son went through some… challenges, but he’s going to be just fine. Better than fine, in fact.

“But side by side it’s night and day. When evil girlfriend was over it was even more stark. ”

This is something interesting. Sometimes experienced men have the eye to tell the difference, but many men are just old without being able to discern the difference.

The wisdom of the young man is to winnow which one is giving the advice.

Your son is a blessed man.

There were two women, and I wish I kept the links, that were pilloried for pointing this out. The first one said that if you even think you want to have kids, you need to start moving to do that in your twenties. The other said if you even think you want to get married, you should start looking in college since you will never be around a larger cohort of eligible men ever again.

They both were right, and they both were excoriated. But it’s something I told both my Daughters. My youngest is 26, and engaged to a great dude. My oldest just turned 30 and has 4 kids.

When my son was involved with a wall smash woman, I flat out told him so. My exact line was “She’s heading to the wall at ramming speed with a fat grenade in her hands, and I think she’s pulled the pin”. Older men, like me, can see such things. It blew apart, and he’s now at the stage where his eyes have been opened. He’s also at the point where his buddies are telling him how lucky he was to have dodged that bullet.

But to add on to what Popp said, you can tell straight away if you see them side by side. Last winter my 20 something niece was here to study. It was wonderful having a beautiful, feminine, young woman in the house (not that I don’t love my wife). But side by side it’s night and day. When evil girlfriend was over it was even more stark. Being her cousin, the boy wouldn’t notice her the same way, but it was like looking at a toad sitting next to a beautiful, fragrant flower. She’s so far from the wall she can’t even see it, and there probably won’t be one since her mother is my wife’s age and is still thin and pretty.