“We are Forerunners. Guardians of all that exists. The roots of the Galaxy have grown deep under our careful tending. Where there is life, the wisdom of our countless generations has saturated the soil. Our strength is a luminous sun, towards which all intelligence blossoms… And the impervious shelter, beneath which it has prospered.”

Friday T&A: Trampoline Edition

by | Feb 19, 2021 | fat girl jihad | 2 comments

It’s been a tough week all around, lads – or at least, it was for me. I have spent the whole of this week dealing with the sheer ineptitude, stupidity, and incompetence of an ISP in PommieBastardLande. You would think, being a (nominally) First World nation, that getting your internet connection setup and working would be easy. That, of course, is precisely what Virgin Media want you to think. In reality, they are possibly the single worst example of lousy customer service and appallingly bad behaviour that I’ve ever seen.

The saga started earlier this week, a few days after I moved into a new apartment. I figured that many of my problems with finding a place to stay were over and done with. I’d found a really nice place in a great area – it’s a bit pricey, but the convenience and amenities nearby are excellent. The idiots who run the country still have everything locked down because of the Scamdemic, but, under the circumstances, this is not a bad place to be. The nice thing about this place is that internet access is supposed to be included – and it’s supposed to be really fast.

Of course, that’s just what they expect you to think, around here.

For the last few days I have had to deal with Indian customer service representatives. Just stop and think about that for a minute. If you want to see a job done badly by people who pretend to speak English, outsource everything to India, and watch what happens to your customer satisfaction ratings. Anyone who thinks that Indians are good at technical support, or fixing issues, or even understanding what the hell is going on in a complex system, clearly doesn’t really know any Indians.

About 8 emails, 3 phone calls – to a toll charge line, by the way, they charge YOU while they’re screwing you over – one visit from a technician, and four days later, the internet still doesn’t work here. The twist is that all of my devices can see the router just fine. They can connect to it without problems. But they can’t access the internet at all.

This indicates one of two possible problems, as the tech explained to me. (The technician was actually a really good dude. He’s British, a proper working-class bloke with tattoos and work boots and all, exactly the salt-of-the-earth type that I tend to get along with pretty well. He and I commiserated over the appalling lack of quality customer service in his company and exchanged notes about how bad tech “support” is in India. That was about the only fun part of the whole ordeal.)

Either the hub has old data from the previous tenant still stuck in it somewhere, and therefore needs to be replaced. OR the account itself has an issue with it – which I would not put past Virgin Media at all. Some spastic numbnuts in their back office in Pune might just have mis-keyed something and borked the entire setup process.

Either way, it’s not looking good in terms of establishing connectivity and getting things done. I’m stuck with using my mobile data to get anything done. And that’s working out kind of sort of OK for now, but it’s a huge pain in the ass.

Nonetheless, we adapt, react, and overcome, as the Marine Corps likes to say. And the fact is that whatever is afflicting me, isn’t that big a deal compared to what many of my readers down in Texas are dealing with right now.

How’s that Green Nude Eel workin’ out for y’all, fellas? Shifting your power supply away from natgas peaker plants and nuclear power to solar and wind must be doin’ wonders for all y’all’s complexions, eh?

I don’t write that to mock my proud friends from the great Lone Star State. I genuinely love Texas and would happily have moved there if I had managed to stay in the US. But the fact is that “renewable energy” actually means nothing more than “Stone Age energy” – which is to say, if you’re going to go green, you might as well bomb yourself back to that period of human history. The net effect on living standards, productivity, output, and human health will be pretty much the same.

It’s all enough to make you despair in the face of unrelenting stupidity and endless idiocy. Certainly it’s all enough to cause your blood pressure to spike – potentially high enough to give you an aneurysm. That’s how bad Virgin Media are, and they deserve every last brickbat they get from me and everyone else who hates them.

But, that is also one of the reasons why the Friday T&A series exists – to relax men and make us happy. That’s what great tits and a great ass do. Women may hate us for that fact – I’ve had to deal with more than one stroppy fit from my lady precisely because I put up these posts, by the way. (The things I do for my readers!) But it’s just reality, and there ain’t no use argufying with it.

So let’s get straight to your weekly dose of brain therapy.

The lady of the week here is Aneta Novotna, age 25, from Prague, Czechia. She is quite well known in her home country – or so I gather – as a model, actress, ring girl, and entertainer of various kinds. Apparently she was also some kind of regional beauty queen, WAY back in the day (i.e. 2014). And she has appeared in three movies.

She is quite obviously at least somewhat plastic – I don’t think I’ve ever seen a natural woman who looks that bouncy. (Hence the title of the post, by the way.) But, she IS from Eastern Europe, and that goes a long way toward offsetting some of the silliness.

Happy Friday, lads. May your weekend be long, your whiskey be neat, your lady be beautiful (and silent), and your winter be on its way out. Get some R&R, avoid the stupidity of British internet companies, and we’ll see you all on Monday.

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  1. TechieDude

    I’m a Texas reader. Specifically DFW.

    From what I see our problems aren’t green energy, per se. It’s the deal TPTB cut with the power companies to accept it. Namely, a 1.5% reserve generation capacity, instead of the 10% they badly needed this week.

    It’s also the electric board that decided to clobber some neighborhoods and not others. There’s simply no excuse for friends of mine being without power for days. None.

    But, being Texas. There’ll be heads smacked and nuts kicked up around ears in the coming weeks.

    The rest of us? We’ll be buying generators.

    So take that AOC. I was about to buy a small 4000W generator. Now, it’ll be 8-10K + diesel.

    Fuck you.

    And for those transplants, understand this. Texas will smash your stuff every few years. We have California weather, but that is the difference. Wind, tornadoes, hail, heat. Be prepared. Watch… this summer will be 110 for 40 days straight. Welcome. You’ll regret that tactical black SUV sooner rather than later.

    Wise up.

    • Didact

      Your analysis jives with what I’m seeing here. It’s even funnier to note that wind farms in the Great Lakes and Northeast actually end up CONSUMING grid energy just to keep their motors warm during the really bad big freezes.

      Yet somehow the answer to the problems of “green energy” is always MOAR GREENE ENERGYE!!!

      AOC and Al Bore should be featured as salespeople of the year on every diesel generator company’s frontage. They are doing a tremendous job of convincing ordinary people of the virtues of icky horrid ugly fossil fuels.


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