“We are Forerunners. Guardians of all that exists. The roots of the Galaxy have grown deep under our careful tending. Where there is life, the wisdom of our countless generations has saturated the soil. Our strength is a luminous sun, towards which all intelligence blossoms… And the impervious shelter, beneath which it has prospered.”

Execute Order 66

by | Feb 11, 2021 | Office Space | 1 comment

Most of you have no doubt heard the news by now that GIna “Crush” Carano, former Strikeforce women’s Lightweight division champion and sometime actress, has been fired by the Devil Mouse for something or other that she Twatted. (Pun intended.)

Pretty much every anti-SJW pop culture channel on teh innarwebz has expressed revulsion and outrage over her firing. However, I don’t watch much TV. These days I spend most of my time binge-watching old-school ITV series, like Sharpe and Horatio Hornblower. So I honestly have nothing to say about Gina Carano’s firing.

I like the woman very much. She was (and is) a great martial artist, and I respect her for that. And she’s as tough as they come. She’s also actually pretty decent as an actress. So I genuinely wish her well and hope that she bounces back fast. She strikes me as a woman with her head screwed on straight. And that’s all I have to say about that.

I do, however, have plenty to say about how you should handle similar situations. For starters, I want to point out one very obvious truth:

If you have a Disney+ subscription, YOU. ARE. THE. F***ING. PROBLEM.

It’s really that simple. You are paying the Devil Mouse to bend you over a barrel and rape you, up the ass, without grease, using a stack of quarters that YOU GAVE THEM.

Stop Feeding the Beast

devil mickey - TV Series & Entertainment Background ...

See, here’s the thing:

The Devil Mouse depends on your money. The management of that evil company needs you to spend your hard-earned shekels on their shit. They want you to buy vastly overrated holiday packages to Disneyland, or Disney World, or whatever. They need you to spend your money watching their cookie-cutter animated movies. And they require you to plod like mindless sheep to the movie theatres every summer to switch off your brain and watch HULK SMASH!!!

So, here’s an idea…

How’s about you… STOP?

Why not just… keep your money?

And while you’re at it, why not simply stop paying for basic cable?

You don’t need any of that bullshit. Seriously. You really don’t. I haven’t had a cable or FiOS TV subscription since, oh, about 2012. And I’ve been perfectly happy without it. I can get all of the internet-based entertainment that my heart could desire. That was true 9 years ago – it is FAR more true today in the Covidian Age.

The Old Ways Are Still Best

Now, suppose you aren’t a carefree singleton like me. Suppose you have a wife and kids. And suppose the ball-and-chain and the little nosediggers need diversions. The ballbuster-in-chief wants to keep up with her realitard TV. And the sproglets need something to keep them occupied while you do manly things like, oh, sitting on the couch and drinking beer.

Well, I am sorry to tell you that you might just have to put in a bit of effort to change things.

If you are content with that unhappy state of affairs, then do not complain when the howling mob of the Cancel Culture Commissariat comes for you. And they most assuredly will. You are not safe and you never were. In case you failed to notice, there is a war on right now. Neutrality is not an option. If you will not pick a side, they will pick one for you. And you’re not going to like it.

You need to exercise your authority as a husband and a father. You need to tell your wife to get her realitard TV fix at Marcy’s house. Look on the plus side – you’ll get some much need P&Q while she’s out, and she gets to vent to her friends about you. Everyone wins.

And you are going to have to introduce your children to an amazing place, full of adventures and wonders. It is called “OUTSIDE”. You will find that the graphics are absolutely astonishing – far better than anything a TV screen can offer. Unfortunately, the controls are a bit wonky and you don’t get infinite lives or respawn points or rapid-healing. And if your kid falls out of a tree, lands on his head, and ends up in the “special ed” class… sorry mate, can’t help you.

But, trust me on this, the benefits FAR outweigh the risks.

This is how Ye Olde Phartes, of which I am one now that I am firmly in my mid-thirties, used to roll, back in the day. Some of us – a few, anyway – turned out reasonably well.

Peace Through Superior Firepower

Gina Carano's Cara Dune Getting A Star Wars Spinoff Series?

If you don’t like what Disney did to Gina Carano, then you need to stop feigning outrage about it online. And you need to start doing something about it, if you can.

As long as you continue to consume Disney products, you are very much a part of the problem.

It is important to remember that Disney wanted to do this all along. Gina Carano has made a name for herself as a free thinker for the better part of a year now. The top management at the company simply needed an excuse to get rid of her. They found one and decided to act as a “concerned authority”.

Disney management are as incompetent as they are stupid and they deserve what they get now. So start Force-choking them, HARD.

Do not watch their movies. Do not buy their products. Refuse to subscribe to their idiotic platform.

Deny them your money. They don’t deserve it.

And while you’re at it, stop hiring their former employees. Quit giving their people the time of day. Cut them off from your social circles and refuse to associate with them in any way, shape, or form.

If you think any of this is too harsh – check your wife’s purse for your balls. Do you understand that you are in a war now? Do I really need to spell it out for you, even now?

Leave None Standing

Star Wars' Order 65: The Command To Kill Palpatine Explained

In STAR WARS, back before the Devil Mouse defiled it, Sheev Palpatine became the ruler of the First Galactic Empire. He did so through treachery, terrorism, and manipulation. The Emperor knew how to treat his enemies. His methods may have been hideous, but his results were undeniable.

The STAR WARS Expanded Universe lore makes clear that the Emperor’s orders left no room for interpretation. Jedi were hunted down and summarily executed as threats to the Empire. Most of them died horribly, shot by their own clone troopers. Some fought back and died well.

Maybe it’s high time that we of the Hard Right took a page from his book, and started executing some Order 66s of our own.

Start with Disney. Let’s see how they like being cancelled. Your single most powerful weapon against them is your wallet.

Indeed, there has already been a massive fan backlash against Disney and apparently their top management are absolutely wetting their short trousers right now:

Keep it up. These people need to hear from us and they need to know that enough is enough. They have crossed lines and they must pay the price.

Leave none standing. Destroy their castles and magic kingdoms by refusing to give them any more money. It’s going to be a LOT of fun to watch these assholes pleading and begging for mercy. Do you really want to miss out on witnessing such a sight?

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