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The power of NO

by | Nov 5, 2020 | The Agoge | 5 comments

Given the ongoing clown-car crash that is the 2020 Presidential election in the US, and the fact that a clear winner won’t be decided for days, if not weeks, let’s take a bit of a break from politics. I’m quite happy to do so anyway, as the situation has many of us feeling deeply depressed and utterly demoralised. And the point of Didactic Mind, as I stated very bluntly in my “call to arms” post from a while back, is now going to be a form of aggressive, focused, action-oriented positive masculinity. I don’t do nihilism, demotivation, black-pilling, or despair around here. Neither should you. So let’s put a laser-focus on the power of the word “NO” in your life, especially with respect to women.

Too many men these days have a hard time getting what they want. They have become meek and compliant, incapable of asserting themselves and stating their intentions. As a result, they are spineless, unattractive, blue-pilled Betas of the worst kind.

This phenomenon is becoming increasingly common around the world. It is particularly bad in the Indian subcontinent. Our good friend The Male Brain sent me the clip below for inclusion in a previous Great Mondaydact Browser Buster. When I watched it all the way through, I immediately decided that this merited its place in its own post:

Subcontinental Silliness

That video is undoubtedly difficult to watch through Western eyes. However, as I pointed out in a Domain Query podcast from a while back, this is an all-too-common problem in India and similar cultures.

India is a very odd country – by Western standards – when it comes to the role of women. On the one hand, Indian men treat their women absolutely abominably. Female infanticide, rapes, assaults, and beatings of women are commonplace. Acid attacks on women are a severe problem. Extremely flawed “studies” aside, the Indian government itself admits that women are not well treated in the country.

The influence of Islam is definitely a factor here. You can see this for yourself. Cross-reference the ten most dangerous cities in India for women, against the proportion of the population that is Muslim in those states. However, that is CATEGORICALLY NOT the full story. Hindus must also answer for their poor treatment of women.

On the other hand… you will see that women absolutely dominate their homes in India. That is an inescapable and unavoidable fact. You can see this when you meet Indian and Pakistani boys. They are some of the worst blue-pill chodes that you will ever encounter. And it’s not really their fault. They are that way precisely because of mothers like the one you see above.

As you can see from that clip, that Akshay character is simply unable to get what he wants in life. His parents own him entirely. His mother determines his life outcomes for him. He is unfit, weak-looking, indecisive, and unattractive – to both women AND men. He gets no respect. Because of this, when he finally gets some alone time with his proposed bride-to-be, he has no clue what to do.

Results and Ramifications

The fact that women dominate their men in the household, has some serious consequences.

Women are a reflection of their men. That is a simple truth which you have likely heard in various forms. As I have pointed out before, at considerable length (with pictures, no less), India is nothing less than an SMV wasteland. That is because women are not held to high standards of attractiveness, fitness, and beauty by the men. I can tell you from personal experience that a reasonably well-dressed girl of average looks in Moscow, is easily in the top 1% of looks compared with Indian girls.

What is true IN India, is rapidly becoming true OUTSIDE India now too. You cannot get away from that fact. And you can see it before your very eyes in the Western world. Western women become ever less desirable by the day. This is because men today no longer push back upon them. They no longer know how to say “NO!”.

Sadly, this is happening everywhere. I’ve seen it myself during my long travels in Russia. I saw it throughout my 12 years in America. And I see it EVERYWHERE in Europe these days.

So how, then, do we fight this problem?

Learn the Power of No

If you watch that first clip all the way through, you will see that Akshay does, eventually, stand up to his mother. He does say no. He tells his mother that he does not want to go through with the proposed marriage. I have no doubt that this caused no small amount of pain for him. But he had to do it.

As a result, he started to get more of what HE wanted, not what others wanted for him.

The lessons from his life apply far beyond romantic attachments. You cannot be a doormat in any part of your life. If you are, then people WILL walk all over you and you will NEVER get where you want.

This is how you, or someone you know, can stop being a doormat:

1. Acknowledge the Problem

As with all such issues, the first step to fixing the problem lies in recognising that one exists in the first place. Take careful stock of your life. Analyse whether or not you are getting what you want. Is your life what you want it to be? Do you get what you ask for from people? Are you even asking in the first place? Are you assertive enough, or not?

If you cannot figure this out for yourself, ask people around you. Get a friend to tell you. Even better, try befriending a dog – a proper dog with serious teeth, not an animated dust-bunny. Dogs are superb at sensing weakness and fear in humans. If you cannot get a dog to obey you, then you sure as shit won’t get a human to do so.

2. Create Boundaries and Stick to Them

The power of saying “NO” lies in figuring out what you want – and, just as importantly, what you DON’T want. Figure out what is important to you.

Here’s a simple example, which is relevant for what comes next. Suppose that you want to get fit and strong. You have to set aside the time to do this. So, tell yourself that you WILL get to the gym, or the sparring mat, or wherever, at specific times every week. Don’t let anyone dissuade or deter you from this. Start blocking off time in your calendar at work – don’t explain why you’re leaving the office at 5 instead of 6 every day, just do it.

That one tweak is enough, in my experience, to make most men assertive enough to stand up to their women.

3. Embrace Conflict and Pain

Sooner or later you are going to get pushback from people. If you are involved with a woman on any level, at some point she WILL NOT like the fact that you insist on spending time on your own projects and goals. This will create conflict. If you knuckle under, she will OWN you.

The best way to fight back against this, is to learn how to fight back against anyone. Embrace the discipline and pain that comes with learning a martial art. Nothing will humble you faster than getting your ass kicked by someone with far greater skill, speed, and power than you. This is true regardless of which art you study. It is especially true of arts like BJJ, which emphasise skill and technique over brute force and power.

You will also learn how to face conflict and competition. This is vitally important. You will understand how to build relationships with men – and you will learn how to become resilient against the pressures of women.

Do not stop at martial arts. Go to the gym as well. Most serious martial artists also lift weights, and with good reason. Learn how to squat and deadlift and bench-press. Work on a heavy bag. Do Olympic lifts. (Just DON’T do CrossShit.)

These things will strengthen your mind as well as your body. This will improve your posture, make you look and feel more dominant, and turn you into a man worthy of respect.

4. Assert Your Own Desires

This might seem redundant. It isn’t. This goes beyond setting boundaries. If your parents insist on marrying you off at a specific age or time, and you are not ready – say no. Suppose your wife or girlfriend wants you to account for your own time – tell her to take a hike. Perhaps your boss needs you to work over the weekend – require him to justify himself.

You don’t have to be an ass about this. With respect to women, we are commanded to be gentle with them – which does not come naturally to us as men, by the way. We are commanded to be respectful to our elders and our rulers. You can assert yourself respectfully and compassionately. But you MUST assert yourself regardless.

Stand Up and Be Counted

I don’t care if you like or dislike arranged marriage. (There are good arguments for it, by the way – it was the standard form of marriage for millennia and it does work in the modern day, often better than the alternatives.) And I am not particularly bothered where you are from – whether you are South Asian or not. If you are South Asian, you probably have more problems than men of Western races in asserting yourself. Fine. Those problems can be fixed.

The key here is to learn how to say no, and to accept the consequences. And make no mistake, there WILL be consequences – painful ones. Trust in yourself, assert yourself, and stand with those who want to be counted as independent and free. Or, stay weak and crippled.

It’s your choice. Choose well.

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  1. TechieDude

    Wow, what a poor slob.

    Things started happening for me, back in the day, when I:
    1. Stopped caring what people thought.
    2. Didn’t care whether a girl said yes or no. More often that not, #1 kicked in and I flat out didn’t ask.
    3. #1 & #2 being true, I’d get them talking and listen.

    Even a simple line like “What do you do with yourself all day?” followed by sipping my beer, and they’d rattle on.

    Then walk away.

    Like I told my son; if you’re thirsty go get a hooker. You could do that back then.

    • Didact

      Things started happening for me, back in the day, when I:
      1. Stopped caring what people thought.
      2. Didn’t care whether a girl said yes or no. More often that not, #1 kicked in and I flat out didn’t ask.
      3. #1 & #2 being true, I’d get them talking and listen.

      Yeah. That’s a hard transition to make, but it has to be made nonetheless. The “IDGAF what you think” attitude is difficult to adopt and even harder to implement. But it has to be done.

      Like I told my son; if you’re thirsty go get a hooker. You could do that back then.

      Absolutely. Getting with a hooker is far from optimal, but it’s probably less dangerous to a man’s mind than porn and almost certainly more dignified.

      And, as an added bonus, if you spend any time in Southeast Asia or Eastern Europe – and that Akshay kid obviously comes from a wealthy family and could do exactly that – any hooker that you spend time with will be WAY hotter than even the best-looking girls in India.

      Which is a rather sad commentary on the absolute state of things in India, really.

  2. Post Alley Crackpot

    “… you will see that women absolutely dominate their homes in India.”

    The marriages between Western men and Indian women I’ve seen that are viable as ongoing concerns are the ones in which the men are essentially submissive while also trying not to look submissive.

    I’m not saying “concentration camp mentality”, but … oh, wait, yes, I am in fact saying that.

    “Western women become ever less desirable by the day.”

    It’s a vicious feedback loop: Western men aren’t becoming better either, and they’ve been caught in each other’s dysgenic cycles.

    So many times when I’d wander in East London that I’d enter some mid-20s Polish woman’s shop and see her face brighten up merely by looking like what she’d classify as normal …

    Ever noticed the “East London scrunch face” that’s endemic to the area?

    Nick Land a long while back wrote about an “intelligence shredder” effect in Singapore, but what about a “genetic shredder” effect in most large cities?

    • Didact

      I’m not saying “concentration camp mentality”, but … oh, wait, yes, I am in fact saying that.

      Sounds about right. Indian women are MASTERS at playing serious mind games. They are used to the notion that they rule over the house with an iron fist. Now, obviously NAIWALT, but generally speaking, that’s usually how it goes.

      It’s a vicious feedback loop: Western men aren’t becoming better either, and they’ve been caught in each other’s dysgenic cycles.

      Yep. Western men have to break it. There’s no other way. Most of them will refuse. Some will try, and many will fail. The few that succeed are the ones that will prosper when things finally turn around – and the signs that I’m seeing indicate that this turnaround is already underway.

      Nick Land a long while back wrote about an “intelligence shredder” effect in Singapore, but what about a “genetic shredder” effect in most large cities?

      Distinct possibility. London and New York F***ing Shitty have certainly turned out that way, in my experience. I used to think that girls in Singapore were beautiful when I lived there back in the day, but when I returned 15 years later after spending time in Russia, I was pretty stunned to realise how sloppy and bad they looked.

      The exceptions to this “genetic shredder” rule appear to be strongly homogeneous Slavic and Scandinavian cultures – though Denmark appears to be a major exception to the, uh, exceptions, if that makes the slightest bit of sense.

  3. JohnC911

    I meet many Indian men in Australia. A lot of them were in arranged Marriages. I notice with these men was the softness in there hands. 2 of them I was going through the bible with. One I turn down from getting our church to Baptist on the basics that he lying to his wife and refusing to tell her due to her mental health. I went through Genesis, Timothy and Colossians on the subject. I found out from talking with him after go through some of passages that his wife only started going off the rails when they moved in with his uncle and aunt’s house. She (wife) wanted them to move out but he was too weak and did not want to upset the family. I said to him on the last I can not baptist you until you tell your wife the truth because as a Husband you must resepect your woman and then I recommend he had to man up to his uncle and aunt. They can not disrespect your woman. It was no wonder why she was going crazy.

    This was not to say i have not meet Indian men that did not have the soft hands, they were usually not in arrange Marriages. In fact I meet others that got out of them and looking for woman to marry on their own terms.

    I would say most of this comes down to more on what standard do you want to live your life. Passive or Assertive.

    By the way Didactic do you think the way family structure in the bible verse other cultures is why in the west the family is more towards the nuclear family instead of clan or tribal? The bible is very support the man and wife leaving the nest in Genesis 2 verse 24.


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