Among my MANY vices is my tendency to spend rather more time than I should reading trashy Limey tabloids. The Sun is a leading contender in the very tight competition for the title of “trashiest of them all”. The “Dear Deirdre” column within that site is a definite guilty pleasure. It is also a true gold mine of information about the absolute state of the SMP and MMP within PommieBastardLande right now.
The site recently posted up a piece from a man whose girlfriend had slept with over 100 men, and the poor dumb bastard asked an astonishingly stupid question:
DEAR DEIDRE: I WAS a late starter and have only been with a dozen women – while my girlfriend admits she has slept with more than 100 men.
But I’m more shocked she admitted this so openly . . . and confessed she’d had sex with some of them in exchange for cash or gifts or holidays.
I am 34 and she is 32. I put it down to her being Latvian and more direct than most women are in this country.
She is a language teacher and has had sex with her pupils.
This worries me given that she has a professional relationship with them. [YOU DON’T F***ING SAY?!?!?!]
We have been together for two years but she’s admitted flirting and getting close to married men during this time, exchanging sexy texts and allowing them to touch her.
She enjoyed dinner and shared a hotel bed with one of them.
She was abandoned by her father at a young age and admits she struggles to say no to men.
When she slips up, she justifies things in her mind and tells me I am over-reacting.
Do I have it out with her or just shrug and accept this is who she is and that these men will always be around?
Wow. Just… WOW. I just… how do you… what… like… I mean…
Look, I need a moment here. Cut to the facepalms while I get my writing mojo back:
OK, let’s count up the red flags here. His girlfriend:
- Has had sex with over 100 men: The SCIENCE!!! is absolutely clear about this – her ability to pair-bond is basically gone;
- Has had sex with men for cash, gifts, or holidays: This is the LIVING DEFINITION of a whore;
- Is over 30: Self-explanatory, women in general are basically NUTS, and unmarried women over 30 are a can of Planter’s special mix with a LOT of added salt;
- Is a language teacher who has sex with her students: Does anyone else get a nymphomaniac vibe?;
- Has flirted with married men during the entire time she has been with this guy: Classic carousel rider;
- Enjoyed dinner and shared a hotel bed with a married guy: Yeah, I’m pretty sure she “shared” quite a lot more;
- Has very clear and obvious daddy issues: Also self-explanatory;
To use a sportzball metaphor: that’s an entire season’s worth of red flags in ONE game.
Unfortunately, the advice that the columnist gave to her sad-sack correspondent was typically idiotic blue-pill feminist bullshit:
DEIDRE SAYS: Your girlfriend’s cultural background may well be different but having sex in exchange for money or gifts is often linked with hardship and low self-esteem.
If her behaviour makes you unhappy you need to be honest or it will drive you apart.
Counselling could help her get over that early emotional damage so she makes less needy choices.
Yeah, of course. Let’s not hold the woman responsible for her stupidity – let’s get her counselling instead! Y’know, civilised societies used to stone people for less. (Lord, but I hate modrenity…)
Right. Since we’re manly men of manliness, let’s break this advice down and then codify some useful lessons.
“Your girlfriend’s cultural background may well be different” – look, I’ve dated Slavic women, plural. Their cultural backgrounds ARE different from Westerners. But the Slavs aren’t so dumb as to think that a woman sleeping around with men in exchange for fancy pants and lollipops makes her anything other than a whore – “курва/шлюха” in Russian, Ukrainian, and Serbian, “prostituta/likne” in Latvian.
“but having sex in exchange for money or gifts is often linked with hardship and low self-esteem.” – and what is the root cause of that? Answer: having no father figure in a girl’s life at an early age. Girls NEED fathers to show them what a good man looks like. Remove that from a girl’s life, and she will almost surely become a fallen and broken woman who sleeps around and makes a LOT of dumb mistakes. And that’s exactly what happened here.
“If her behaviour makes you unhappy you need to be honest or it will drive you apart” – I believe this calls for a classic Nicolas Cage moment:
And then we get to the true howler of the whole thing:
“Counselling could help her get over that early emotional damage so she makes less needy choices.” – I have a hard time imagining worse dating advice than this. That is perhaps the dumbest idea that I’ve ever come across.
Look, YOU CANNOT FIX A WOMAN WHO HAS SLEPT WITH OVER 100 MEN. That is a woman damaged well beyond a man’s ability to repair. Yea, verily shall I manspalin why this is so.
We can unpack two basic reasons for this damage. One is chemical and the other is psychological.
The chemical factor has to do with the hormones released during sex. The scientific data and studies that we have on hand about female promiscuity usually exhibit one very interesting characteristic: the uppermost point for number of partners for a woman is “10 or more”. (I’ll get back to the reason why “10 or more” is important from a man’s perspective later.) And women who have had sex with “10 or more” men throughout their lives consistently report much lower self-esteem, much less happy marriages, astronomically higher rates of divorce, and of course much higher rates of sexually transmitted diseases than their more chaste counterparts.
Sex is truly wonderful, pleasurable, exciting, and good. God invented sex for a reason – and He made men and women very, very horny (but in very different ways) for an equally compelling reason. Great sex between a man and woman releases extremely powerful doses of dopamine and various other “reward” chemicals that serve as strong bonding agents between the two of them.
But what happens when either partner has too much dopamine flooding into his or her system? His or her dopamine receptors get fried out, which means that the individual has to seek ever greater amounts of that drug in order to feel happy.
This is why drug addicts, pickup artists, and prostitutes have quite a lot in common. They are all dopamine fiends. But the effects are vastly more damaging on women. All of that dopamine overload short-circuits the bits of a woman’s brain that compel her to seek out and bond with one man that can provide her with resources and stability. She will instead look for men who can provide her with ever greater stimulation and rewards.
That isn’t the kind of girl you bring home to mum.
The psychological factor has to do with men’s thinking, not women’s. Ask yourself honestly: how would you feel if you discovered that your woman had been with “10 or more” men? Most likely, you would be disgusted. And that’s a visceral, instinctive reaction.
Why? Because you are effectively contributing to a kind of “DNA soup” that is swimming around inside of her. And yes, as revolting as that sounds, it’s the truth. The thought of becoming just another in a long line of men that have added genetic ingredients to that stew is disgusting, and rightly so.
Incidentally, just about all men have the same upper limit in terms of acceptable number of sexual partners in a woman.
Pretty much all men will say that a woman who has been with “10 or more” men is unacceptably damaged. She’s simply had too much cock run through her, four-to-six inches at a time. By the time a woman gets to that (un)lucky number 10, from a man’s perspective it just doesn’t matter whether she’s been with 10 or 100 or 1,000 or 10,000 guys. To his mind, it’s all the same.
Women need to understand this very clearly. Having sex with lots of men isn’t “liberating” or “empowering” or “fun” – it’s incredibly damaging to them and their prospects for future happiness.
As for the poor sod who wrote that letter in the first place, well, he’s not in much of a position to brag either. A man who has had sex with 12 women probably isn’t much good for pair-bonding himself. But the psychological damage of sleeping around is far less terrible for men than it is for women.
To answer this guy’s question very directly: “have it out” with her, dump her ass, and MOVE THE F**K ON. She’s not worth it. She will NEVER be loyal to him. She will ABSOLUTELY cheat. She will lie and likely become abusive over time if she doesn’t get her way. I don’t care if her cat feels like a warm steam-bath massage and her Kegel muscles are strong enough to sculpt wax figurines – SHE IS NOT WORTH IT.
Which brings to mind an interesting question: what N-count is acceptable for a “decent” woman these days? Well, my buddy Kyle Trouble and I had a stab at answering this question during one of our Troublesome Truths podcasts recently, so make sure you subscribe, listen, like, and share to find out what we concluded.
“…– while my girlfriend admits she has slept with more than 100 men”
Wow. Smile and ghost that one.
That’s not a girlfriend. That’s a receptacle.
Yeah. Dude says he’s been with 12 girls – I call BS, guys who have been with that many women generally don’t have too many issues dumping a damaged girl. Then again, who knows – maybe this Latvian chick has lady-parts with customised vibration settings and flashing lights that tell you when to shift gears.
Guys have done dumber things for the sake of gettin’ some – but not by much.