Kapios, you are correct in most of your points. It is FAR easier to create a happy monogamous relationship within a community that self-selects for happy, monogamous relationships, as Bardelys points out. If you are in an environment that discourages such things, then it should not be any surprise at all when you cannot get what you are looking for.

Unfortunately the majority of the Western urban developed world is atomised, feminised, misandrist, and deeply hostile to the entire idea of happy monogamous relationships. But that is NOT to say that you cannot make it happen.

You may have to move. You may have to get a different passport. You may have to make significant changes to your body and lifestyle – i.e. hit the gym or get hard physical exercise every day.

The key here is that we as men have a responsibility and an obligation to make ourselves into what we want to be. We are not handed things in life like women are; we have to build up everything in our lives.

You are also correct that you need to pick and choose your potential partners with care. It is still possible to find women in an urban environment who are sweet, caring, and feminine – but exposure to that environment grinds them all down eventually.

I don't live in the U.S but with current world events, a quiet neighborhood with religious gun loving neighbors would be a good option.

You'd have to go to rural Central/Eastern Europe for that these days. Australia and New Zealand are extremely hostile to both Christianity and guns. Parts of South America might be possible too – Argentina comes to mind.

Community and family can be a hindrance or a help for marriage. Look for a partner who will want to integrate with your family and vice versa. My squeeze and I have not yet tied the knot, but we have ingrained ourselves so deep in each other's families that if one of us wanted out, there would be a flurry of phone calls and offers of support to keep us together. Now, that didn't come about easily and took a lot of hard work and some sacrifice, but it is doable.

The underlying issue is that the West is atomized instead of symbiotic. Find yourself a woman who does not want to be separate from you in any way.

Oh the difference is crazy. Among my friends at the University church, relationships under a year aren't really a thing, and the ones that haven't crossed the one-year mark definitely will. On the largely secular varsity team, ghosting and cheating and whatever is rampant, to a point where there's new gossip about some romantic misadventure every week.

So I think unconsciously I might be looking for a burnout in order to allow myself to find something more meaningful.

I understand where you are coming from. I had the same attitude for a very long time. My faith played a major role in changing my mind, but that's a very personal choice and it's up to you to figure out how to proceed. I will say that the decision to check out of the relationship market completely is one made entirely out of risk-aversion and fear. This is self-defeating because if you live your whole life in fear of what could go wrong, then inevitably, those things WILL go wrong.

It is better to look for women who self-select into professions and categories that automatically make them likely to be good mates. A great place to start is with kindergarten teachers, for instance. And while Western women in general are badly damaged from decades of feminist drivel and absolutely appalling anti-male laws, that does not mean that here are NO good Western women out there.

It's just much, much harder to find them nowadays.