“We are Forerunners. Guardians of all that exists. The roots of the Galaxy have grown deep under our careful tending. Where there is life, the wisdom of our countless generations has saturated the soil. Our strength is a luminous sun, towards which all intelligence blossoms… And the impervious shelter, beneath which it has prospered.”

Mini-Mikey and Mistress Elizabeth

by | Feb 21, 2020 | Uncategorized | 4 comments

I had planned to use this clip from #BasedTucker in the next Great Mondaydact Browser Crash, but it was simply too brilliant and too funny to keep waiting. This is Tucker Carlson in rare form:

OK, first things first, to all of my red-blooded male audience:

Can y’all think of anything more likely to kill the mood and destroy a boner than the words, “Mistress Elizabeth”?

The only thing I can think of that is worse is: “Mr. Clinton! Your wife is waiting for you in the bedroom – and she says she’s wearing nothing but a nightie…”

Every last bit of analysis and commentary that I have seen, indicates that (((Mini-Mike))) made an absolute dog’s breakfast of the first debate that he participated in against the other Daemoncrats. He simply had no clue how to deal with the attacks from the other candidates. He looked like an utter shrimp. He had no answer to the devastating attacks on his own policies, opinions, and ideas.

And that is before we get to the utter howler of a comment that he made about how he could teach people everything they need to know about how to farm in an hour.

That level of elitist disdain is common among New Yorkers. I know plenty of them who live in the Big Apple. I lived there myself for a while and I can tell you personally from my five years spent living in that city – plus another seven spent working there and living in Jersey City – that Hizzoner’s sentiments are perfectly in line with what the rest of the urban elites believe.

Let’s be clear about something:

If you’re a city boy, like me, the chances that you can learn anything about farming in the space of an hour, are basically ZERO.

A successful farmer knows a hell of a lot more than how to open a hole in the ground, drop a seed in it, and let it sprout into “food”.

In reality, a successful farmer needs to be ALL of the following:



Soil chemist;

Organic chemist;



Market speculator;

Financial analyst;






… and about another half-dozen individual professions besides.

And let’s be absolutely crystal clear about one other thing:

The Bloomberg building, over on 59th St and Lexington Ave, is a very, very nice place. I’ve been there a couple of times. The technology there is absolutely amazing. The people in it are extremely smart. The workplaces that they have are pure awesomesauce – back when I first visited, you could get all of the tooth-rotting sodas and chips and candy that you could possibly ask for out of the vending machines that they had on every floor, but nowadays I’m sure that, thanks to (((Mikey’s))) health kick, you can’t get anything other than fruit juice and veggie smoothies.

But, if that entire skyscraper suddenly dropped into a giant sinkhole that spontaneously appeared in the middle of Manhattan, life as we know it would carry on with relatively minor disruption.

On the other hand, if just one of the biggest and most productive farming companies in the USA, never mind the rest of the world, went under… Americans would be starving in a matter of weeks.

The recent histories of once-thriving bread-baskets like Zimbabwe prove, beyond any inkling of a hint of a shadow of a doubt, that the moment you get rid of farmers, your country DIES and you inevitably end up begging for those farmers to come back.

The fact that someone as supposedly smart and savvy as Hizzoner Da Mayuh can’t figure this out, should tell you everything you need to know about his chances in a general election matchup against His Most Illustrious, Noble, August, Benevolent, and Legendary Celestial Majesty, the God-Emperor of Mankind, Donaldus Triumphus Magnus, Astra, the First of His Name.

I mean, seriously, look at the two of them standing next to each other. The (((Mayor))) is a titch:

A general election matchup would be a contest between this:

More Mike Bloomberg racism! Police stop whites too much ...


Yeah. That would be a 40-state blowout, easily, in favour of the Chaddest Chad ever to Chad across a stage.

The Mayor may yet manage to buy his way back into the debate. He might put on a far less hapless and more patrician performance in the next debate, whenever that is. But there is simply no getting away from the fact that a Jew will not be elected to the office of President of the United States of America – never mind a short squeaky-voiced geriatric billionaire Jew who used to be mayor of Gomorrah-on-the-Hudson. It’s simply not going to happen.

We should not get too overconfident about the God-Emperor’s electoral chances. The Hilldebitch made the same mistake 4 years ago by dramatically underestimating her opposition and assuming that the November election would be a mere formality en route to her inevitable coronation. She was spectacularly wrong, even though the God-Emperor himself thought at the time that he was probably going to lose.

Against a creaky cranky unreconstructed socialist like Bernie Sanders, Donald Trump may well emerge as the rational and sane alternative to such a nutjob, but that doesn’t change the fact that promising free shit is a great way to get the young and stupid (Lord, forgive me my redundancies) to vote for you in this uninformed and historically ignorant day and age.

Even so, all of the signs thus far point to a glorious and spectacular TRUMPSL!DE!!! in 2020. Forward, brothers of the Astra Militarum! We march in the name of our mighty God-Emperor!

Meme Magic: Donald Trump Is The Internet's Revenge On Lazy ...

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  1. Dire Badger

    "The only thing I can think of that is worse is: "Mr. Clinton! Your wife is waiting for you in the bedroom – and she says she's wearing nothing but a strap-on…""

    fixed it for ya (grin)

    • Didact

      Damn right you did – that will give every man who reads it nightmares for a week…

  2. TechieDude

    The woman makes my teeth itch.

    I love it that this is such a dumpster fire for them.

    So what do we have?

    Two geriatric old white Senators. One a Marxist commie, and one a creep. Both have done nothing their entire career but elected office, have zero accomplishments that I can recall, yet somehow are wealthy. I think Bernie was used as a fluffer last time, thinking his crowds would transfer to the evil one. Won’t work this time either. Biden is borderline dementia personified. He doesn't remember much, except how to grope. It's probably muscle memory at this point.

    Next, a geriatric old white woman, who is a lying, double dealing hypocrite. Did you know she consulted on legislation for the consumer protection bureau, with both law makers and big corporations? She too is wealthy, besides being a professor, and will happily prevent you from making money the same way. Her big problem is the Clinton syndrome. No charisma, totally hate-able. Her entire appearance, and screechy hectoring speaking style scream “Mother in Law” or “Ex Wife”. Like Clinton, the reaction is visceral in men. This debate sealed it. No one likes a blueblood fishwife.

    The other yenta, sort of geriatric, or otherwise way over the wall white woman senator – Klobowhatthefuk. So what. A hypocrite as well, she believes totally different stuff now than she did when she was elected. Not very charismatic, reportedly evil to her staff. She’ll catch a shiv soon enough. Right in the back. From an insider.

    A short, young, gay white dude. Littlegayman, an unaccomplished mayor of a small Midwestern town. He reminds me of Dukakis. It’ll be over when he steps on a debate stage next to Orangeman and looks like a hobbit. If that don’t get him, the after debate glad handing with his “husband” shaking the model wife’s (who will tower over them) hand will. For whatever reason, he feels compelled bring his "husband" to smooch with on stage. Yeah. That'll go over big in the rust belt. Two big constituencies he needs need, black and Hispanics hate twinks.

    Was Gabbard there? She was actually interesting, somewhat accomplished, and easier on the eyes than the other yentas. I liked her style, although her penchant for candor caused her to blaspheme, so she’ll be vanished. It was entertaining how she shanked Harris at a debate, on live TV, leaving her jabbering and stuttering as her campaign went down like the Lusitania.

    Steyer wasn’t there. Rich white dude into climate change. Won’t fly, people don’t care about it or a rich hypocrite who does.

    And lastly, Mini-Mike, or as I like to say “littlebigman”. A nanny oligarch, he’s the exact person this crowd has demonized for 12-15 years. His shortness and baggage will kill him. He was caught off guard. He probably won't make that mistake again. That said, he has a titanium checkbook, and the DNC is broke as usual. And, who watches these things? Hell, I know littlebigman is a hypocrite, they all are, but watching commie Carrie Nation go after him, I hate her more than him. He's at least done something with his life. Don't like what he does, but he's done something. And, like you showed in the picture, he'll look like a deteriorating Frodo standing next to Trump. Did you see what he did at a nato thing? youtu.be/vIdrTSjzGKY. Yeah.

    BTW, the stiff never wins. And they are all stiff. Except Bernie. Who's a commie.

  3. Post Alley Crackpot

    Can y'all think of anything more likely to kill the mood and destroy a boner than the words, "Mistress Elizabeth"?


    "Mistress Elizabeth Warren"

    And the sick thing?

    "Hey, I think Mikey likes it!"



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