To quote the immortal words of the great and wise philosopher Jeremius Clarksonius (c. 2006 AD),
“I went on the internet, and I found this:”
Gentlemen of South Asia, this is what happens when y’all live your whole lives without a proper understanding of dank memes and what really hot girls look like. That is why guys like me exist, to teach you how not to be terminally blue-pill for the rest of your life.
THOT Media… Sometimes this shit just writes itself, man. It’s nice when I don’t have to make ANY effort to amuse myself and others, you know?
I found this because I was doing first a DuckDuckGo and then a Google search for the term, “thot quotient”.
The reason why I went down that particular rabbit hole has to do with the fact that I have not seen the phrase bandied about, at all, anywhere, despite being slightly (but only very slightly) smarter than the average bear when it comes to meme culture.
As far as I am aware, I am the first person to use the phrase in a blog post (about a hot chick who is DEFINITELY a thot, natch) – though, if I’m wrong, I’ll admit to it right away and give credit where it’s due.
What I mean by “Thot Quotient” is, quite simply, a sliding scale of points to assign to any random internet skank who wants you to believe that she achieved her lifestyle of designer handbags and first class flights to Dubai entirely based on her occupation as a hairstylist.
What is the Thot Quotient? Simple. It’s a number ranging from 4 to 10 which you can use to rate any woman with an Instagram account. The higher her number, the more of a Thot she is.
Why start at 4? Also simple. Any woman under the age of 40 or so these days has had some level of exposure to social media throughout a significant portion of her life, and the younger she is, the higher the level of exposure. If she has a social media account on which she posts pictures, she cannot be less than a 4 on the scale. It’s simply not possible, for the same reason why there is no such thing as a woman who is less than a 4 on the Crazy axis of the classic Hot-Crazy Matrix.
How do you go about judging a thot’s TQ? Well, there are signs to look for, but in my opinion, it takes more than merely a certain moral elasticity, if you will, to turn a woman into a thot.
I realise that this may be difficult to believe, especially for my American readers, but there are in fact plenty of girls out there (in Eastern Europe, at least) who love the attention and validation showered upon them by social media, but who are actually quite modest in the photos that they post.
They wear makeup and nice clothes, yes, but they are fully clothed and they are posing in beautiful locations, sometimes with animals in the background because they happen to be in a zoo or a nature park. Or they are out with their husbands and children and put the photos up to show how much fun they are having.
I don’t have any real problems with these women. I do object to women who insist on putting their children’s faces all over Instagram – this strikes me as astonishingly stupid, especially in this day and age of unprotected 24×7 social media exposure. But, overall, if a girl wants to post pictures of her holiday up on social media, I don’t have any particular problem with that.
Photos of a trip to Bali or Dubai or Paris with friends, boyfriends, or husbands do not turn girls into thots. If they don’t show their boyfriends or husbands, or admit to having the same in their IG posts, well, that’s their business. As a general rule, if you see a pretty girl posing in front of a beach or famous landmark, you can be fairly sure that the picture was taken by her significant other.
Nor does a woman necessarily become a thot simply by becoming a model thanks to her Instagram exposure. We know that models in general are expected to perform… shall we say, services in exchange for their shot at the brass ring of fame. This is not news and it is not worth getting all huffy and Puritanical about the fact that men trade their resources and connections and power for sex with women.
That is the nature of men and of women, and we might as well sit back, relax, and accept it.
(I’m not saying that you should tolerate such an attitude, especially when looking for a long-term relationship with a girl. You’ll want someone who is loyal and faithful to you. That kind of woman needs to be vetted thoroughly for her social media usage. If she’s posting a lot of scantily-clad bikini photos up to attract attention from guys… that’s a BIG red flag and you are likely going to be in for a nasty shock.)
No, a woman becomes a thot when she lies about how she earns her money.
As I have pointed out many times, I think that prostitution has its place in society. I just don’t think that it should be regarded as a Good Thing even so. Apparently my readers rather liked this aphorism that I coined a while back:
Prostitutes, whether of the paid or Tinderella type, may be a necessary evil – but they are an evil nonetheless.
That is how you judge a thot. If her Instagram account is strewn with sultry-looking bikini shots of herself, and she lies about herself and how she keeps herself clothed and fed, then you have an absolute thot on your hands and she thoroughly deserves to be called a whore for it.
In fact, here is a prime example of the breed, courtesy of our friends over at TagTheSponsor.com:
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This bint actually admitted that she has done escort work in text messages:
And the best part is, her Instathot page is still open for anyone who wants to see it. She isn’t particularly hot if you actually bother to look closely, she’s a bit tubby, and she has a classic case of TCS.
That’s a real rocket scientist, right there.
(Then again, the Hilldebeast would have us all believe that she totes wanted to be an astronaut when she was a little girl – never mind that NASA didn’t really get moving with the space program until 1961, when she was about 14 – so, hey, I suppose anyone can be a rocket scientist now…)
The best way to tell a thot is to look for a combination of signs.
Does she look like she might be at best a 6 without makeup? That puts her at a 6 on the TQ, right away.
Is she very obviously posing in ways to cover up whatever deficiencies she might have? Bump it up to 7.
Does she look like she’s trying too hard to look sexy? Can’t really complain about that; use your own judgement about cranking up the TQ.
Does she at any point insist that her good fortune is down entirely to hard work? HARD 8.5 on the TQ, instantly.
Does she lie about her past history with men – and then rationalise and justify her behaviour? TQ of 10, straight away, do not pass go, do not collect $200, just dump her ass and leave. (Yes, personal experience speaking there. Not going to go into details, but let’s just say that she is almost certainly making somebody’s life miserable, much to my amusement.)
Does she have a Patreon page where she promises to send you sexier photos if only you’ll pay for her time? Don’t bother checking anything else – she isn’t just a thot, she’s an uber-thot and you shouldn’t touch her with your friend’s private parts.
The TQ is a useful, if irreverent and blatantly sexist (but it’s not like we care, eh, lads?), metric for measuring a girl’s suitability for a relationship of any kind. And from now on, I’m going to invite all of my readers to assign a TQ rating to any girl that I post in either the Monday or Friday segments.
I mean, let’s be honest, gents: you guys enjoy the shitposting and all, but it’s the girls that you actually come for, right?
Oh, and one more thing:
Whoever is running Thot Media down in Gurgaon… y’all might want to think about changing your name.
Just sayin’.
9 Comments
To be completely honest? I come for the articles. Mostly the Political stuff.
I know people laugh about that, but it's true for a number of guys… The Last "Playboy" I read I cannot even remember the girls, but I remember there was an awesome Interview with William H. Macy.
Sometimes it sucks being in a relationship with a good-looking woman. Because when you see others, sometimes the only thing you can see are their flaws… This one looks like a Llama, That one should have stopped at a 'D' cup, this one is two margaritas from having thighs like a topographical map of Colorado, That one looks like you just took a hook out of her mouth…But sometimes you do catch one that looks sweetly feminine.
At the risk of sounding like I am kissing your Ass, Your political/social/religious/beast writing is the meat and potatoes. Your music is the side salad that you sometimes eat but sometimes push away, and the girls are the dessert that you always take a nibble of but don't necessarily desire to consume.
And yes, shitposting is part of it. I won't even bookmark a site that has no comments, because sometimes the comments are as good as the article itself, and sometimes you gotta get something off your chest.
Is an honest lewd cosplayer with a patreon a 9 or a 10? I would go 9 myself because honesty is always appreciated and some how alot of the big ones are married or in long term relationships.
Cosplay, like Redheads, are rated entirely subjectively.
For instance, I found Deborah Anne Woll and that chick from the guild solid tens on looks alone… but I have heard from people WITHOUT a redhead fetish that Woll is a 7 and Felicia Day is at best a 5.
Heck, I even found Debra Messing (Will and Grace) to be a solid 6, although opening her mouth dropped her to a 3… But most guys find her a 4 at best and a 0 when she runs her mouth.
s an honest lewd cosplayer with a patreon a 9 or a 10? I would go 9 myself because honesty is always appreciated and some how alot of the big ones are married or in long term relationships.
I too value honesty, but most of the cosplay thots are not honest with their fans.
Take the well-known case of Kaitlyn Siragusa, aka Amouranth. She is quite married. But she hid this from her fans and stated repeatedly in videos that she was single, which was part of the reason why she accumulated so much money on Patreon.
Then there's Jessica Nigri, who as far as anyone knows is dating a guy who looks like a walking Chlamydia bacterium. But she doesn't really let on about that fact to her fans.
Both Ms Siragusa and Ms Nigri have featured in my Friday T&A series. Both of them are unquestionably e-thots. And I'd rank both of them as hard 10s on the TQ, not necessarily because they bang dozens of guys – they almost certainly don't – but because they lie or at least willfully mislead men about their nature.
And that's before we get to really skanky e-thots like Belle Delphine.
The reality of cosplayers is that they get likes and views and, most importantly, Patreon moolah, from pouting and posing in barely-there costumes and playing to the fantasies of horny men. Those fantasies are always rudely interrupted by the thought of another man in the picture.
And that's why e-thots almost always get smacked with a TQ of 10, with the important caveat that IF they are honest and state up-front that they are in a happy monogamous relationship, then they get dialed back down to a 9.
For instance, I found Deborah Anne Woll and that chick from the guild solid tens on looks alone… but I have heard from people WITHOUT a redhead fetish that Woll is a 7 and Felicia Day is at best a 5.
Yep. I'm one of those guys who don't have said thing, and I agree with those who say that the first is a 7 and the second is at most a 5.
Heck, I even found Debra Messing (Will and Grace) to be a solid 6, although opening her mouth dropped her to a 3… But most guys find her a 4 at best and a 0 when she runs her mouth.
She used to be attractive 20 years ago. Nowadays she's held together with Botox and makeup, and not terribly well either. And, indeed, when she runs her stupid mouth, she goes straight down to a 0.
All of that being said… the TQ is different from the usual "hotness" scale. A girl can be a mere 6 or 7 in terms of attractiveness, but be a radioactive 10 on the TQ simply because she throws her cat around at every guy that looks at her. Contrariwise, there are girls out there – not many, but they do exist – who rate as 9s and 10s, but are modest and loyal to their men.
Interesting. I had actually considered Nigiri one of the honest ones because of how often she does mention fake nerd boy.
I didn't realise that was his tag until I went bag and looked at her posts. She's smoking hot, of course, but she doesn't post pictures of herself with her boyfriend – not least because that would shatter her image for her male fans.
Jessica Nigri is one of those odd cases where she's easily a hard 9.5 on the usual 1-10 scale, as well as a 10 on the TQ – but might well be a decent girl otherwise, when she's not "in game".
I wonder if the modern thots will have body parts send to recycling plants upon their deaths. If all goes to shit in 50 years time I will be applying to work in a morgue and start selling silicone cups and prosthetics from old people 😛
Well the problem with silicone and saline implants is that, honestly, you can't do a whole lot with them. And I suspect that the market for second-hand boob cups would probably not be too large… Just sayin'…