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This is why women’s football sucks

by | Jul 14, 2019 | fitness, Uncategorized | 0 comments

The USA women’s football team won the World Cup recently, and like pretty much everyone else here, I really couldn’t give a shit about that. In fact, one of my readers, with whom I am in fairly regular contact, told me a rather good joke related to them. He was talking about the severe flooding that has hit Nebraska and other US states, and he said that the best way to fix it was to take the US women’s team and drop them straight into the affected areas.


Because there are so many dykes among them that the flooding would cease instantly.

You have to admit, he does have a point.

The fact is that women’s soccer – or, as the rest of the world correctly calls it, football – is utterly boring and incredibly stupid to watch, unless you’re there for the full-contact bitchfight slapfests:

That is a legitimate form of entertainment, I suppose, if you get high on schadenfreude, which is probably the reason why women’s football provides an invaluable spectacle for literally hundreds of people in triples of countries around the world.

But if you dare to say any of this in public, you will get trampled by a mob of howling SJWs baying for your blood:

If it wants to attract the kind of people who actually enjoy watching sport, women’s football must stop being a grievance-filled political movement for the morally virtuous.

This week controversial French public intellectual Alain Finkielkraut set off a firestorm in France. When asked if he was going to watch the Women’s World Cup, which has begun this week in his homeland, he dared to simply say “I don’t like women’s football.”

He was branded by his TV interviewer as “retrograde” and “condescending” and widely condemned as “sexist” on social media. Finkielkraut gave his critics plenty to pick on, saying “that’s not how I see women” and that their game is “equal but different” (though one could argue these are simply personal aesthetic observations, to which he is entitled).

But the bigger point remains: saying that you don’t like women’s football in public is now taboo. Claim the same thing about any other sport – American football, Formula 1, men’s figure skating – you are fine. Say it about this one, and it is a political statement against equality, feminism, progress.

It’s not just women’s football that sucks, as I have pointed out before. Honestly, about the only female-oriented sport that I can even remotely stomach watching is women’s MMA, and even then I don’t particularly like it – something about the idea of locking two women in a cage to beat each other until their brains run out of their noses is deeply disgusting to me, most likely because I have strong traditionalist beliefs about gender roles. But that’s me. (About the only exception that I make to this rule is when Holly Holm fights – not because she is a particularly great fighter, since she isn’t, but because she is a genuinely good and decent person and I like such people.)

So why, then, has women’s football suddenly reached such prominence of late? Take a look at the Google Trends analysis for search terms like “Women’s Soccer” and “United States Women’s National Soccer Team”:

Funny how that spike occurred, isn’t it? It’s almost as if (((some people in the media))) have an agenda to push – but that would be ridiculous, an absurd conspiracy theory that would surely be indefensible.

After all, what could that “hidden agenda” possibly be? (((Those people))) surely do not have an interest in ramming bisexuality and gay “rights” and “equal pay” shibboleths down our throats – surely not!!!

Sarcasm aside, the US women’s football team’s World Cup victory does nothing whatsoever to prove that women’s sports require and deserve equal pay for equal performance – not least because there is nothing equal at all about their performance against men.

After all, if the world champions can be outplayed and humiliated by a bunch of 15-year-old boys from Texas, then what chance can they possibly have against teams made up of highly talented and skilled male players like Real Madrid, Juventus, Barcelona, or Manchester United?:

The USA women’s football team were convincingly beaten by a team of adolescents in a embarrassing defeat for the world champions.

They were roundly outplayed, losing 5-2 against FC Dallas Under-15s academy side who took full advantage of their big day.

The players did not appear to allow the display to subdue their spirits and posed with the opposition for photos after the game.

Jillian Ellis’ team were preparing for an international friendly but the humbling by a group of youngsters did not seem to affect their performance on a bigger stage.

The USA ran out 4-0 victors against Russia, a welcome respite after two difficult defeats in the SheBelieves Cup.

Having lost 1-0 to England and 3-0 to France, the friendly against Dallas U-15s will have caused concern but it seems the result was a blip in an informal contest.

Their utter lack of skill – compared to men – is nothing relative to their utter lack of class, though.

Can you imagine Roger Federer screaming, “I deserve this!!!” after winning a Grand Slam trophy? His Fedness is arrogant, to be sure, but he can be forgiven this given the fact that he routinely simply invents tennis shots out of thin air that have literally never been seen before. But he has always been absolutely magnanimous in victory and truly gracious in defeat, which is why so many millions of fans around the world love him so much, and which is why he commands instant respect from everyone, no matter where he is, the moment that he walks onto a tennis court.

By comparison, Megan Rapinoe, co-captain of the US women’s team, appears to think as though the rest of the world owes her something simply because she is a lesbian with purple hair and also happens to be an athlete who won a competition that pulled in literally less than two percent of the revenue that its male counterpart did last year in Russia.

And yes, the American women beat the Russian women, but all that tells me is that I would much rather date the women from the Russian women’s team and then ones from the American one – which, again, as anyone who has been following this blog for any length of time can attest, is not even the least little bit surprising.

Especially given that the Russian women’s team looks like this:

… while their American counterparts look like this:

That, my friends, is the difference between a team full of women, and a team full of lesbians.

Coming back to this issue of lack of class and grace, this isn’t true of just the US women’s football team, who seem to specialise in pissing off the rest of the world with their insufferably smug SJW antics – at least they can walk the talk, because after all, they did win, and that must be conceded graciously in their favour.

In fact, the other female teams are not very much better, at least not judging by the recent behaviour of the English team against the Cameroonians – and the response of the African women did nothing whatsoever to dispel the notion that women in sports tend to be big crybabies on an international stage.

In closing, then, we can sum up the entire notion of women’s football with four words: slow, lame, boring, stupid.

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