“We are Forerunners. Guardians of all that exists. The roots of the Galaxy have grown deep under our careful tending. Where there is life, the wisdom of our countless generations has saturated the soil. Our strength is a luminous sun, towards which all intelligence blossoms… And the impervious shelter, beneath which it has prospered.”

Go long on posthole diggers

by | Jun 7, 2017 | Uncategorized | 4 comments

We have it on good authority that the Grand Strategikon, Inquisitor Magus, and Excruciator Majoris of the Evil Legion of Evil might just be replacing Rience Priebus as White House Chief of Staff:

Anonymous high ranking officials with access to deeply classified information report that Donald Trump’s appointment of Thomas P. Kratman as White House Chief of Staff will be a coup for Russian intelligence services.

“Putin wants Kratman in that position, because Priebus only sees Clinton as someone to oppose.”

“Our sources say that Kratman is a very bad writer, a Russian spy, and an enemy to all forms of democracy.” said another.

“Lieutenant Colonel Kratman is the latest in Trump’s pattern of militarizing civilian government.” said a third.

Since his retirement as a columnist at EveryJoe.com, Kratman has been traveling and meeting extensively. He is believed to have been recruiting for the White House Staff, preparing for a civil war or trolling the left.

Michael Leeden reported: “After speaking with some of Kratman’s previous bosses, I am convinced that Kratman’s ability to take direction is fully the equal of Trump’s ability to give it.”

W. Lewis Anselem is alleged to be head of Kratman’s program for the oversight and reform of the Department of State.

Jerry Pournelle and David Weber are said to have been asked if they will chair a committee to make recommendations for a national missile defense strategy. Both have declined to comment.

It is reported that Kratman has been in negotiation with Liz Mair, Moe Lane, and Fail Burton to find a permanent White House Communications Director.

An alt-Right spokesman denounced Kratman as a “Dyscivic and dysgenic leftwinger, the same as everyone he is bringing on board.” [Well if it’s any comfort, it wasn’t me, sir.]

I am absolutely 100% all for this appointment. I seriously doubt that anything would be as effective at purging heretics and traitors from within the ranks of the God-Emperor’s Administratum as having LTC Tom Kratman- the “blue-eyed djinn“- stalking the corridors of the White House with a hammer and nails in his belt.

I mean, now that he has retired from writing his (excellent and sorely missed) columns over at EveryJoe, it’s not like he’s all that busy, right?

Of course, given that the Washington swamp appears to be as f***ed up as a football bat, it is quite likely that several virgin forests would have to be denuded in order to fashion a sufficiently large number of crucifixes to mete out the deserved levels of punishment.

This would drive the tree-huggers crazy- but as far as I’m concerned, that’s just a nice bonus.

And it is true that our Supreme Dark Lord (PBUH) would have to look quite far afield to find someone else that keeps SJWs awake and weeping into their hentai pillows at night as effectively as the Grand Strategikon does. But I’m sure there are plenty of us Vile Faceless Minions who could minion hard enough to do a reasonably good job in that position.

It should also be remembered that the appointment will eventually result in a significant boom in various sub-industries, including woodworking, carpentry, and of course heavy farm machinery. The God-Emperor’s stock-market rally would be further extended to ever greater heights by this appointment- we’re gonna be RICH!

So, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to go buy stock in John Deere and Home Depot.

Hey, what good is an SJW crucifixion if you can’t at least have some fun and make some money while watching it, right?

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  1. Eduardo the Magnificent

    Fuck John Deere. They're a globalist company. Make illegals dig the holes, that way we work them to death in the process. Kill two stones with one bird.

    • Didact

      First they dig 'em, then they die in 'em, eh? Interesting thought…

  2. Dire Badger

    Man, I wish. And put David Drake in charge of the DoD. We could use a few good Bolos.

  3. Tom Kratman

    Okay, that was funny.


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