How to fail completely on a date

by Didact | Feb 22, 2014 | Uncategorized | 1 comment

Despite the rude things I say about women and feminists- both online and in person- my sister and I remain very close, which is why whenever she comes over we try to spend some time together and go out for a nice dinner somewhere at least once. The other night we were out at a seafood restaurant, both of us exhausted after long days and quietly talking about various things from back home or simply eating in silence, when a couple came over and sat down at the table next to us. They were an interesting study in contrasts- she was petite, brown-skinned, looked half Latino if I’m any judge of such things; he was big, outweighing me by a minimum of 10kg, light black, with frizzy hair tied back in that silly half-Afro that you see on Rastas these days. They ordered some sushi and, like I would, insisted on no rice on the side. So far, all well and good, nothing really of interest here.

Then the woman made the mistake of asking why her date hadn’t ordered rice. What followed was at least thirty minutes of some of the most excruciatingly bad conversation I think I have ever heard on a date.

The guy basically started on the subject of his diet, and about how he had shed 20lbs of fat while counting his calories and being active. He made this sound as if it was some sort of grand divine revelation, rather than the blindingly obvious reality that it is. (Although I’ll be the first to point out that counting calories simply does not work. If you want to look as jacked as this guy does, you won’t get there through conventional dieting advice.) He proceeded to drone on, and on, and on, and on, about how losing fat was about counting calories- even going into the details of how many calories men and women burn on a daily basis. He then went into a highly enthusiastic description of the 3-Hour Diet, or whatever it’s called, where you eat every 3 hours on an extremely strict schedule, in order to stave off hunger and stay within the 2,400kcal limit of energy intake that is supposed to be “optimal” for the human body.

Things continued in this vein for the entire meal. By the time I was done with what I had ordered, I was about ready to reach over and punch the dude- and I was just the poor schmuck sitting next to him. I felt a little sorry for his date- only a little, though, it was clear from their interactions that she was in provider-hunting mode.

To be as fair as possible, I’m quite guilty of this sin myself- I once went out to dinner with a girl from my Master’s program and she made the mistake of asking me a question about economics, whereupon I proceeded to talk about nothing but the uselessness of modern economics for the next 20 minutes. Suffice to say that I got friendzoned PDQ. These days, I know enough to understand that women just aren’t turned on by logic, facts, and details- so there is not the slightest point in trying to ram such things down their throats. If you do, you very likely won’t be ramming anything else on her person either.

The lesson to learn here is that even if you look good, even if you dress well and have a dominant physical appearance and masculine frame, you can seriously screw things up by simply refusing to shut the f*** up. If you take a girl out on a date and all you talk about is your wildly fascinating dietary regimen, then the message that you are sending is that there is nothing else of any use or interest in your life. You have no personality, no magnetism, and nothing to offer. You end up giving her torture, not tingles.

There are exceptions, but all they do is end up proving the rules. I remember a great comment from FrancisBegbie on one of my better posts from last year:

Also, I think the connect with the emotions is a big one. I managed to get a makeout by talking passionately about the Austrian School of Economics, a subject boring to 99.9 percent of people, but when you go on about “inflation robs people, the elites screwing people over”, the fate of the world, it can work, hilariously enough.

Note the importance here of connecting with emotions. If all you are doing is telling a girl about your utter and total lack of interesting hobbies or pursuits, then you are blocking off her ability to form any kind of emotional bond. And chances are that if you’ve been on this Earth for longer than 15 years, you have done at least a few interesting things in your life. All you have to do is figure out how to articulate those things.