Ian Ironwood recently posted about this topic, and when I read it, I thought that it was a damned fine idea that deserved to be put into practice. So I did. Here’s an outline of what happened.

If you’re a cubicle jockey of any kind, then you’re familiar with the concept of “business casual” and “casual Fridays”. Ostensibly the idea is to promote collaboration and creativity by removing the “stifling” environment created by dressing to the nines every day. In practice, of course, it does nothing of the sort, and these days it’s common to see even senior managers walking into the office looking disheveled and run-down, while the women in the office tend to gravitate to two extremes. Either they make little effort at dressing tastefully and attractively (this seems to be more common among the older and the less attractive women), or they dress in a manner just the right side of provocative. (Which I don’t mind in the slightest, just so we’re clear.) It is very rare these days to come across an attractive young woman in the office who dresses elegantly, and who is comfortable with being admired for doing so. It is even more rare to find men in the office dressing up for anything other than brown-nosing with the visiting managing director.

The concept of Formal Fridays is a brilliantly subversive tactic designed specifically to turn this reality on its head, and seriously f*** with the minds of your colleagues in the process. And boy, is the latter outcome fun to watch.

The idea is really simple: walk into the office on a Friday morning wearing a full suit and tie, the whole getup. As far as I’m concerned, every self-respecting man should own a minimum of two really good suits, and should make regular use of both of them. Personally, I truly hate wearing ties, but I have no problem wearing good jackets and blazers. Even so, I put my antipathy towards ties to one side for the last couple of weeks, and dressed up on Friday morning and walked into the office looking pretty damn sharp.

The effects were immediate and very interesting to observe:

• The first comments I got were always along the lines of “whoa, sharp suit!”. The appropriate answer is a simple smile and “thank you” to the blokes, and a smirk to the ladies. That’s it.
• The second comment was the inevitable, “what, interviewing already?!”. This is especially relevant in my industry; bonus numbers are going to be released soon, and everyone is going to be unhappy (my industry had a horrible year). I recommend answering this question by simply grinning and saying, “hey, it’s Friday, why not?”
• You will feel the change. You will slow down in your walk, you will hold yourself with better posture, and you will act more dominant, almost instantly. You’ll sit up straighter in your chair. The effects of this process are subtle and powerful. Your interactions with your colleagues will take place from a position of power. Your voice will deepen, your speech will slow, and you’ll probably adopt a cocky smile that makes it clear to your audience that you know exactly what effect you are having on them.
• Women will notice you. They won’t necessarily be tripping over themselves to talk to you- and I certainly don’t give them much encouragement in that department, it’s true. Hey, it’s a process, I’m working on it. But they will notice that you are suddenly a more dominant man on a day when they aren’t concentrating and can’t be bothered to work.
• Other men will immediately and quietly grant you additional respect. This is particularly useful if you are already a leader, as I am. If you lead your own group, especially if it’s an all-male group (like mine), that respect and deference is invaluable. It cements your position as the alpha of the group, the unquestioned leader and decision-maker. If you are merely part of the hierarchy, then assuming that your boss doesn’t have a paranoid jealous streak, he will notice that you are a cut above your colleagues and will treat you accordingly.
• This idea is nothing less than a bow shot across the PMS Feminism. It tells the women in your office that you are not someone to take lightly, and severely messes with their absurd equalitarian notions by recalling a time when men were indeed professionally dominant and admired for it. You may not necessarily be able to flirt with more girls- and if you try to in the industry I work in, you’re staring down the barrel of some dimwit power-tripping bitch in HR who thinks that such conduct is an offence worthy of immediate termination. But, you will be noticed, and that’s the whole point. Think of it as a grown-up form of peacocking.

This sort of thing really messes with people’s minds. Trust me on this. People expect the folks in the lofty heights of senior management- the ones responsible for setting corporate policy and for laying off entire departments- to look good. They don’t expect it of the junior guy in accounting or the mid-level marketing guy, certainly not on a Friday when everyone just wants to sleepwalk through work and then go home.

If you enjoy playing these sorts of subversive games with people’s minds- and I certainly do- then I strongly recommend that you immediately get yourself into a Men’s Wearhouse or similar clothier and buy yourself at least 3 really good suits- one black, one dark blue, and one grey or brown. Clothing these days is selling at a steep discount for all but the most expensive brands (and there’s little call to be spending on Armani suits right now), so you can afford to be selective.

Some of this may sound childish and silly, especially to those not used to working in traditional corporate environments. To this I reply: think Alpha, BE ALPHA. That’s all there is to it. You will never achieve socio-sexual and psychological dominance if you do not take the role of an alpha male in society seriously. When you act like an alpha male, you start to be an alpha male. Most of us are not, and never will be, true alpha males- those guys don’t have to act, it’s part of their nature from birth. But that doesn’t mean that it’s impossible to push back against a society that insists on infantilising us.

So dress up on Fridays. Go out for drinks with your similarly-attired male colleagues after work. Mess royally with the heads of the women in your office. And watch as people take notice and realise that you are a man who should be taken seriously.